Alone
So my life is really shitty right now. Nothing is getting any better. I am on bed rest untill further notice, so all I do is sit at home and worry about everything. Im so scared that its never going to get better. For the past 3 1/2 months my life has been complete hell. I sometimes wish I still lived in Richmond w. my mom. I just want to be ok, and happy again. Im hurting so bad inside right now, I dont know how to fix it. I go to bed scared and worried and wake up scared and worried about everything. I dont know if I am ready to be a mom, and at the same time I know I have to be ready b.c Im the only one that is going to be here for my baby. I cant really count on anyone else, and Im the one that chose to have him. I wish so much that I could find a way to be happy again and make all of this pain and anger go away. My life is so screwed up and I dont know what to do. And I dont really have anyone to talk to about anything but my mom, and she has her own problems and I dont want to upset her, so half the time I just dont say anything at all about how I am feeling. I just wish things would go back to normal and that I could feel happy and safe again, but I dont think that is going to happen anytime soon. I feel so alone in this world right now
Lena
Lena