i know no one reads this but i dont care
things havnt been so great lately...i always find myself lonely and crying and its really hard
all throughout puerto rico i was hysterical it was so hard..i would sleep all day because my sleeping pattern fucked up and i would stay up watching TV til about 8:30 in the morning and then fall asleep...when i wasnt sleeping my dad was yelling at me to get out of bed or telling me that i shouldnt eat things because theyre fattening and that i should go on a diet...yes hes telling me all of this while im sitting in a bathing suit..why would i even want to go outside? so i got like no color thats upsetting
also..most parents teach their children how to drive its like a milestone in someones life...i could have my licence right now..the 6 months is up...my dad has gone driving with me like twice..and i cant schedual my roadtest because drivers ed didnt do anything..so my fathers solution to this was to hire someone to take me driving instead of being a dad and taking me driving he hires someone else..and i thought he was weird so i only used him once and i still cant schedual my road test because i cant parallel park or 3 point turn..and no one will help me..i asked my dad if i could drive to my grandpas today and he goes "well you've never driven this car before"...the funny thing is...i have..cool right? i thought so...and then he let my drive when i told him he wasnt a good father..okay so thats what i do to get him to be a father tell him hes a bad one? same
things with friends have been weird too..i feel like everyone is off on their own having fun while i sit around waiting for people to call..im sick of always asking everyone to hang out..im sick of being ditched and no one having time for me maybe im better off alone..no i know im not i know i need people around me at all times but i tried to push the last 2 that really cared (thats an exageration please no one get mad at that comment) away from me last week and i realized how much i hurt them and how much they really do like being my friend even if they dont know how to show it..but like ive watched friendships slip away from me..one in particular..and its weird because that person seems like theyre trying to get close again but i feel like its an act and it just gets me angry..oh well
theres other shit with my family but i dont feel liek writing about it here
all throughout puerto rico i was hysterical it was so hard..i would sleep all day because my sleeping pattern fucked up and i would stay up watching TV til about 8:30 in the morning and then fall asleep...when i wasnt sleeping my dad was yelling at me to get out of bed or telling me that i shouldnt eat things because theyre fattening and that i should go on a diet...yes hes telling me all of this while im sitting in a bathing suit..why would i even want to go outside? so i got like no color thats upsetting
also..most parents teach their children how to drive its like a milestone in someones life...i could have my licence right now..the 6 months is up...my dad has gone driving with me like twice..and i cant schedual my roadtest because drivers ed didnt do anything..so my fathers solution to this was to hire someone to take me driving instead of being a dad and taking me driving he hires someone else..and i thought he was weird so i only used him once and i still cant schedual my road test because i cant parallel park or 3 point turn..and no one will help me..i asked my dad if i could drive to my grandpas today and he goes "well you've never driven this car before"...the funny thing is...i have..cool right? i thought so...and then he let my drive when i told him he wasnt a good father..okay so thats what i do to get him to be a father tell him hes a bad one? same
things with friends have been weird too..i feel like everyone is off on their own having fun while i sit around waiting for people to call..im sick of always asking everyone to hang out..im sick of being ditched and no one having time for me maybe im better off alone..no i know im not i know i need people around me at all times but i tried to push the last 2 that really cared (thats an exageration please no one get mad at that comment) away from me last week and i realized how much i hurt them and how much they really do like being my friend even if they dont know how to show it..but like ive watched friendships slip away from me..one in particular..and its weird because that person seems like theyre trying to get close again but i feel like its an act and it just gets me angry..oh well
theres other shit with my family but i dont feel liek writing about it here