(no subject)
today i was sitting listening to music and i started crying. and i couldnt stop. every song i heard reminded me of someon. i have been really down today. so i saved like every note and conversation yeah i know its pathetic but i read like three out of the billion and i just thought why did i mess everything up i ahd it so good and now i got nothing. i seriously regret not treating her the way she deserved. now i am miserable i was talking to my sister and i was like what if at the dance i heard a song and i start crying people would think i am weird you probably think i am pathetic but its just an eye open to me in all honesty. i did mess up. you wrote to me "weve made it thru the times and we will in the future too." why cant we get passed this and try to make it work? i am seriously so so sorry you have no idea how sorry i am and wish we could just go back to the way things were before everything happend before jealousy, and everything else came about. i miss those days we did have lots of good times atelast to me. who knows how u feel. someitmes when we are alone i wish i could just kiss you once but there is always the fear of what if she dont like me like that anymore? what if she yells at me or freaks our or hits me? i dont know i know theres only one way to find out. im just to scared. you have no idea how empty i feel with out you in it. i tried saying sorry and i got nothing before so ill probably get nothing again. i know where i stand. i know what i have to say doesnt matter much or how i feel but i did have the guts to write this and post it on public so maybe ill get some props for that i m done saying whats in my head for now. later
vanessa
vanessa