myspace blog about the last year..
Wrote this last night on myspace blog at 3am...
This past year has been quite the 360 in my life.....
going to college was not as scary as I thought it would be although it has taken away some things I can never get back..a.k.a. the past
Although I didn't incredibly adore high school..I miss the simple life of it..not being in debt...not worrying about waking myself up in the morning..not living paycheck to paycheck....not being an adult lol...
It's just so depressing to lose all that over a summer...in the summer I felt so lost...so stuck between two worlds...and now I'm faced with a world that I have no idea about..my future..career..and junk...
I've always wanted to be a high school english teacher..but I really want to teach people who WANT to learn..and let's face it...kids in high school don't really care...(watch out stereotype..) they're too lost and angry....but being a college professor involves writing a fricken novel or something..and I'm really not capable of that...::sigh:: but I have full confidence in whatever my future is..so that's good
ok..on the other note...I haven't been too homesick..really..it's not that bad because I've come home pretty much every weekend....lol
but it has been very independent..I've had to do grown up things..they don't really tell you everything you need to know about your classes/major/etc like in high school...I usually find out things after the fact..or..the hard way so that sucks...but the food isn't too bad and my roommate and I get along and I go to class most of the time..so I'm on the right track..I hope..you kinda change yourself when it's something you're paying for..which I am.....alone :(...it builds character
the thing I've been longing the most is a bigger social life at UMF, because I don't drink I really don't get to meet people except in my classes...and those people are the ones you just walk by and say hi to..until next semester, I wish that people would want to know me..I wish I had more people to hang out with..more people to learn about but it just seems like everyone is already in their clicks and I'm just a wanderer like I was in high school...and my whole life pretty much..I know people..but no one really knows me...and I don't REALLY know them...it sucks..but I don't want to come off all creepy..like hey..I'm really desperate..want to be my friend?...'cause that's just creepy..but seriously I forgot how to make a friendship...and it seems so hard when these people have no idea who I am...it was easier in high school because there were only 350 people in my school..and everyone knew everything about you...
I don't like writing these blogs because it goes out to so many different people and they could take it completely different then I write it..but I really need to work on that whole not caring what other people think thing...
So these are my thoughts at this moment..3 weeks away from summer and 3 years away from the "real world"
I'm hoping and praying next year will be a lot less drama and a lot more fun! seriously I've had enough lol...I want more inside jokes and funny pictures and deep conversations...I'm thriving for a social life I've never thrived for before...I just feel left in the dust compared to most people out there..
I also need to work on going to sleep before 4am and doing my homework...before it's due..alright I really need to sleep now..but I'm completely awake..
This past year has been quite the 360 in my life.....
going to college was not as scary as I thought it would be although it has taken away some things I can never get back..a.k.a. the past
Although I didn't incredibly adore high school..I miss the simple life of it..not being in debt...not worrying about waking myself up in the morning..not living paycheck to paycheck....not being an adult lol...
It's just so depressing to lose all that over a summer...in the summer I felt so lost...so stuck between two worlds...and now I'm faced with a world that I have no idea about..my future..career..and junk...
I've always wanted to be a high school english teacher..but I really want to teach people who WANT to learn..and let's face it...kids in high school don't really care...(watch out stereotype..) they're too lost and angry....but being a college professor involves writing a fricken novel or something..and I'm really not capable of that...::sigh:: but I have full confidence in whatever my future is..so that's good
ok..on the other note...I haven't been too homesick..really..it's not that bad because I've come home pretty much every weekend....lol
but it has been very independent..I've had to do grown up things..they don't really tell you everything you need to know about your classes/major/etc like in high school...I usually find out things after the fact..or..the hard way so that sucks...but the food isn't too bad and my roommate and I get along and I go to class most of the time..so I'm on the right track..I hope..you kinda change yourself when it's something you're paying for..which I am.....alone :(...it builds character
the thing I've been longing the most is a bigger social life at UMF, because I don't drink I really don't get to meet people except in my classes...and those people are the ones you just walk by and say hi to..until next semester, I wish that people would want to know me..I wish I had more people to hang out with..more people to learn about but it just seems like everyone is already in their clicks and I'm just a wanderer like I was in high school...and my whole life pretty much..I know people..but no one really knows me...and I don't REALLY know them...it sucks..but I don't want to come off all creepy..like hey..I'm really desperate..want to be my friend?...'cause that's just creepy..but seriously I forgot how to make a friendship...and it seems so hard when these people have no idea who I am...it was easier in high school because there were only 350 people in my school..and everyone knew everything about you...
I don't like writing these blogs because it goes out to so many different people and they could take it completely different then I write it..but I really need to work on that whole not caring what other people think thing...
So these are my thoughts at this moment..3 weeks away from summer and 3 years away from the "real world"
I'm hoping and praying next year will be a lot less drama and a lot more fun! seriously I've had enough lol...I want more inside jokes and funny pictures and deep conversations...I'm thriving for a social life I've never thrived for before...I just feel left in the dust compared to most people out there..
I also need to work on going to sleep before 4am and doing my homework...before it's due..alright I really need to sleep now..but I'm completely awake..