Charlie....we accept the love we think we deserve
It's just a day..it's just a day with a stupid commercialized society image on it...it's just a day
I haven't talked to dustin in over two weeks....my record was three this summer and not by choice
it's easy to just go on life without him in it but it's not easy to think about going on life with someone else besides him in it....if that makes any sense..I know I have time I don't need to get into a relationship right now and I don't want to but I don't know how you get over the fence that I'm on......
even still when funny or sad things happy I want to call him and tell him or call him and vent because he would listen to anything I had to say no matter how dumb it was no matter how long I wanted to talk about it
most days I know that I'm making the right choice I know that I need to do this for myself to grow but other times I think maybe there is nothing more...he is the only person who can calm me down when I get scared or upset or anything I don't think it's anything he says or does I think it's just him there and trying to find that in myself is hard and I think.. does that just go away when I meet someone else..can it go away? will I ever feel that with someone else because it's something so great that if I could feel it with two people wouldn't that take away from how really great it is.....
valentine's day can kiss my arse...I'm not saying it's bad I'm not saying don't do it I'm just saying it's another day I'll have to think a lot more about dustin and I didn't want to do that right now because I'm doing good..I think....so today might kick me in the ass but it's just another day with another title that I'm letting stir up old feelings....but maybe I need this
I'm so tempted to call him because it's valentine's day you know? that's what you do you talk to people you love.....I think some people think we weren't real or serious in the way we loved but we were..and the problem was that he was more than I was....well obviously that wasn't the only problem lol but it's one of them
so I will reflect tonight but not with too much depression about the topic and use tomorrow to be thankful for my friends and family :)
I haven't talked to dustin in over two weeks....my record was three this summer and not by choice
it's easy to just go on life without him in it but it's not easy to think about going on life with someone else besides him in it....if that makes any sense..I know I have time I don't need to get into a relationship right now and I don't want to but I don't know how you get over the fence that I'm on......
even still when funny or sad things happy I want to call him and tell him or call him and vent because he would listen to anything I had to say no matter how dumb it was no matter how long I wanted to talk about it
most days I know that I'm making the right choice I know that I need to do this for myself to grow but other times I think maybe there is nothing more...he is the only person who can calm me down when I get scared or upset or anything I don't think it's anything he says or does I think it's just him there and trying to find that in myself is hard and I think.. does that just go away when I meet someone else..can it go away? will I ever feel that with someone else because it's something so great that if I could feel it with two people wouldn't that take away from how really great it is.....
valentine's day can kiss my arse...I'm not saying it's bad I'm not saying don't do it I'm just saying it's another day I'll have to think a lot more about dustin and I didn't want to do that right now because I'm doing good..I think....so today might kick me in the ass but it's just another day with another title that I'm letting stir up old feelings....but maybe I need this
I'm so tempted to call him because it's valentine's day you know? that's what you do you talk to people you love.....I think some people think we weren't real or serious in the way we loved but we were..and the problem was that he was more than I was....well obviously that wasn't the only problem lol but it's one of them
so I will reflect tonight but not with too much depression about the topic and use tomorrow to be thankful for my friends and family :)