(no subject)
i ended up going to the wake for matts grandma at 230 and it wasn't as bad as i thought. i mean i was so nervous about how i was going to be and what i was going to say. i think i did alright and i'm glad i went. yeah there could be some things i could've done differently and better. i'm a tad disappointed that i can't do and say things that i want. i understand that in that kind of situation some people just aren't "capable" or something. its hard for some to deal i guess. i can deal but its hard and sometimes awkward even when its your own family member. she was a nice lady and i heard she always asked about me to matt. i liked her and i'm even surprised the grandpa remembered me. oh well, i'm trying to be what i want to be and i guess me being all worried like this is meaning something more for things to happen in the future. but i'm going to stop talking now just because i'm afraid like that heh. and i'm just going to ramble.
i have to get going to work...blah until 11. hopefully the night will go by fast. i'm not too fond of the 5-11 shift. and my grandparents will be here all weekend which means no bed for me, at least my own.
i have to get going to work...blah until 11. hopefully the night will go by fast. i'm not too fond of the 5-11 shift. and my grandparents will be here all weekend which means no bed for me, at least my own.