i you hurt me, but there is nothing i can do
pain is a four letter word
I wish I could fix this
Make it better
Make it right
Put the pieces back together
And end this stupid fight
Is there something wrong with me?
Is there something wrong with you?
Because nothing is the same
Everything has changed
And I keep telling myself
That you never meant those awful words you said
But I guess it’s okay for you to say what needs to be said
Because I would never say it
I never thought you could hurt me so badly
I never thought that you had that kind of power
I hate that you can hurt me
Without even trying
So I’m not perfect
So sue me
You hurt me
And I have to wonder why it hurt so badly
Is it because we were once good friends?
Is it because I cared about you?
Or is there something more?
Some hidden secret undiscovered?
Could it be that I loved you?
I thought we were just friends
But your face haunts my dreams
Why does the memory of you hurt me so?
When I gaze at the wall during class
The moment when my mind begins to wander
I see your face
And I remember all that happened
I repeat our last conversation
Over
And over
And over again
You felt used and hurt
You felt misguided and lead on
I understand
But I don’t pity you
I can’t pity you
For if I do
Then whom am I left to blame
Who is the real cause of all my pain?
Myself
Yes, that’s the only other person
Me
It’s my fault
Fuck you and what you think
You’re not in my life anymore
You chose to not be apart of my life
I didn’t force you
You and all your twisted thoughts
Can just leave me be, please
I’m not your problem anymore
Nor are you mine
Love is a complicated word
Love allows people to be lifted off the ground
But sometimes
Love throws you down
I never thought about us as anything
More than friends
But now that you’re gone
I see the truth so clearly
I loved you
I’ll admit it now
Because now that it’s over
None of it ever mattered
I’m hurt and alone
But I’m glad that it’s over
I miss you
But it’s for the best
I wonder how you are sometimes
I ask other people how you’re doing
I wish I could just ask you
I wish that I could just talk to you
I wish that things weren’t so awkward
But they are
I wish that none of this had ever happened
But it did
I wish that we were friends
But we’re not
I want so much
To just talk with you, like we used to
But I can’t
Because it’s over
I wonder if any of this was worth it
I don’t think it was
But the truth is
I hurt you
You hurt me
Not everything ends easily
Now we are even
Now we are done
For there is no longer a we
And worse
There never even was