(no subject)
well I just found out that Josh has been riding around with fuck boy Mike!! They can both go to hell. That makes my stomach turn. I'll never be with him ever ever ever again after that shit. It still bothers me some because I feel like I lost every now and then and I want to prove to myself (and everyone else) that I can take him back but I think it's just because I haven't yet re-placed him. I will soon tho! I hate to feel alone and I feel very alone now. I haven't slept in my bed in so long I've almost forgetten what it feels like. I WANNA GO HOME!!! Me homesick it sounds rather odd but it's true. I wanna go home and cook supper and do the dishes lay around and play with Jazzy then take my dogie and go to bed. but none of that is gonna happen tonight. I'm staying with Sam tonight because she's moving back in over there in the double wide and bla bla bla . . . . . I need to get all my stuff together it's stode out over this whole damn hillside. I gotta take everything home and clean my room. I'm going back to skool next week since I gotta turn in attendence reports. Me and Momma got into when I went to cout the other day. I'm begining to wonder if they're gonna sign papers to let me quit. If they don't I'm gonna fucking leave and they won't hear from me for a VERY VERY long ass time. I need a fucking break. Sam wants me to move in with her and I don't really want to but she's got a crazy ass soon to be ex hubby and if he was to do something to her while she was there by herself I'd blame myself forever. And Jamie and Laura need the other room but I don't wanna move. And on top of all my other stresses my period's late again. I'm just hoping that I haven't jinked myself into pregnancy. Krama's a mother fucker!!! If I move in with Sam I prolly won't move again until I move out on my own and that will have to be soon afterwards becaus there is no way I can live with three kids and stay sane. I'll be the live in babysitter. and I don't wanna do that. She already gets one night a weekend of my time. And here lately I've had one of the kids at some point during the day. I'm going tonight to clean David's house and make some money. I'm so fucking exhausted. What do I do?.. . . . Do I go or stay. I don't wanna move!!! But what if it's best for everybody (but Me). . . . .until next time!