Can't sleep...
Ok, it's 2 in the morning and I just can't seem to get to sleep. I'm guessing that soda a few hours ago was a big mistake. But that's only part of it, I think. There's just so much stuff running laps around my head. Not all of it bad, some of it good, apprehensive, but good. But some not so good, which of course tend to dominate the good. I don't know, I guess I'm just missing the way things were last year. I miss my floor, HAC was going strong, homesickness was almost nonexistant, I knew what I wanted and where I was going. Well, I was pretty sure, anyway. This year isn't going badly, you know? I'm not miserable or anything. I just feel like it could be so much better. Everything seems uncertain, off-balance somehow. I'm not quite content. I feel like I'm irritated easier than I was last year. And it's ironic too, my workload this year is significantly smaller. All I do is read, really. I don't know what's wrong with me. I was hoping my long weekend at home would help me straighten my head out, and it did help a little, but not much. Listen to me, does this sound like me? I haven't had a restless night like this in awhile. I think too much. I really do sometimes. I think, then wonder why I'm thinking what I'm thinking and next thing you know, it's 2:30 in the morning and I'm up burning CDs and updating my Livejournal talking about what I'm thinking and why I'm thinking it. Was that a runon sentence or or what? Again, it's not all bad. In some ways I'm feeling like I fit better and I'm doing a better job at stuff. I'm swimming again and though I'm nowhere near the impossible standards I keep for myself, I'm not pushing myself as hard as I did last year so I'll probably be able to actually keep it up.
This is what happens when I drink soda at 8:00 at night. You think I'dve learned by now...
This is what happens when I drink soda at 8:00 at night. You think I'dve learned by now...