Lack of experience - taking ownership of design
Early this year I was involved in a project's design development. I was inexperienced with this project phase and was working under another senior architect, known as being a designer. He was too busy to fully invest himself into design for this project. I've worked with him before so I should have realized that he tends to be heavy handed with his vision even when he doesn't have time to be very creative. Had I taken the reigns and done more, he would have let me run with it and given me the guidance I needed.
But I was diffident in my approach and too tentative. I did propose some design features, but didn't really think it all the way through or invest in a full investigation. Not for lack of talent, but because I didn't have the confidence to take ownership of the design. Additionally, as in many projects, the users were difficult and waffled on their needs. I have strength in coordination and translating client needs, so I stuck safely to those skills, doing a good job in absorbing the owner's requirements. And since this was the first time for me in a project of this scale and size, it was a good learning experience in both technical and non technical aspects of this information download from the client.
Under normal circumstances, the next phase of the project would allow some time for further design exploration. With the experience I have gained since the early part of this year, for sure, I would have launched into a more confident and "owned" design effort. But as it has happened, the project timeline has been halved and we will be hard pressed to do the essentials. There isn't much time for a better design investigation, and we have to rely on the half-assed thought process from before.
Fortunately, the young colleague of mine chosen to lead the project is a talented designer and extremely fast at production. He will no doubt do his best to come up with a vision and to execute that vision given the time constraints. But I feel badly at the missed opportunity. The fact that I have to learn through somewhat of a failure. After all, this building will be built, and it is absolutely my fault that it will not have a strong design. Forever will I bequeath it this legacy. So far in my career, I have had very few of these opportunities. Definitely none before of this scale. And I've sort of botched it. Although I am confident that the client will find their requirements more than adequately satisfied and are going to love the functionality, I will probably have dropped the ball to some degree on the responsibility I have as a designer, as an architect.
Looking back at the failures I had in my thesis project in architecture school, I have to honestly admit to myself that the failures in both the project and this building stem from the same issue. Although I haven't recognized it as such before, it is the lack of confidence to take ownership of the design.
Hopefully this experience, and the fact that my technical knowledge now is far superior, will help me take better charge in the future. Hopefully it will not be as long as it has been before my next such opportunity when I can truly affect the built environment - and do what I went to architecture school to do.
I'm grateful that I even have been able to have this much perspective and can see the larger picture of what is going on here. Also grateful for working with someone who is going to thoroughly challenge me and my knowledge, not just my developing skills. If I am able to balance my family priorities with my work, this is going to be a very excellent time for career development. But like most things that are worthwhile, it is not going to be easy.
But I was diffident in my approach and too tentative. I did propose some design features, but didn't really think it all the way through or invest in a full investigation. Not for lack of talent, but because I didn't have the confidence to take ownership of the design. Additionally, as in many projects, the users were difficult and waffled on their needs. I have strength in coordination and translating client needs, so I stuck safely to those skills, doing a good job in absorbing the owner's requirements. And since this was the first time for me in a project of this scale and size, it was a good learning experience in both technical and non technical aspects of this information download from the client.
Under normal circumstances, the next phase of the project would allow some time for further design exploration. With the experience I have gained since the early part of this year, for sure, I would have launched into a more confident and "owned" design effort. But as it has happened, the project timeline has been halved and we will be hard pressed to do the essentials. There isn't much time for a better design investigation, and we have to rely on the half-assed thought process from before.
Fortunately, the young colleague of mine chosen to lead the project is a talented designer and extremely fast at production. He will no doubt do his best to come up with a vision and to execute that vision given the time constraints. But I feel badly at the missed opportunity. The fact that I have to learn through somewhat of a failure. After all, this building will be built, and it is absolutely my fault that it will not have a strong design. Forever will I bequeath it this legacy. So far in my career, I have had very few of these opportunities. Definitely none before of this scale. And I've sort of botched it. Although I am confident that the client will find their requirements more than adequately satisfied and are going to love the functionality, I will probably have dropped the ball to some degree on the responsibility I have as a designer, as an architect.
Looking back at the failures I had in my thesis project in architecture school, I have to honestly admit to myself that the failures in both the project and this building stem from the same issue. Although I haven't recognized it as such before, it is the lack of confidence to take ownership of the design.
Hopefully this experience, and the fact that my technical knowledge now is far superior, will help me take better charge in the future. Hopefully it will not be as long as it has been before my next such opportunity when I can truly affect the built environment - and do what I went to architecture school to do.
I'm grateful that I even have been able to have this much perspective and can see the larger picture of what is going on here. Also grateful for working with someone who is going to thoroughly challenge me and my knowledge, not just my developing skills. If I am able to balance my family priorities with my work, this is going to be a very excellent time for career development. But like most things that are worthwhile, it is not going to be easy.