The noblest in us
Everyday we face a variety of situations. And we react. How many times do we check ourselves to see if our reactions are the best they could be ? Rather than "What would Jesus do", this post is inspired by "What would I do, if were at my noblest."
An acquaintance tells an amusing, but deprecating story about another acquaintance. It’s amusing and I can easily see how it could be true. So I re-tell the story. And yet, I know two things - that the story may not be entirely true, and that the person featured as the star the story would probably feel badly if s/he knew the impression s/he was (unintentionally or otherwise) creating.
How many stories of us do others exaggerate and re-tell ? The time when I found a nose booger sticking out of my nostril ? The time that my food smelled particularly vibrantly at my desk ? The time when I asked for $5 back from a friend and they thought it cheap ? The one piece of work I did shoddily ? The stories spread with many interpretations. The one day that I was PMS’ing may be the only story someone ever hears about me.
These are small things and as we all mature, we know that our opinions of people are shaped by more than small incidents. So I hope that we tell the stories the same way we hear them - with a grain of salt, and with the confidence in our own overall goodness and in the goodness of the hero / heroine of the story.
But do we know which are the small things, which are big, and which hold great power to accumulate ?
What about the times we snap at our loved ones ? Or the sarcastic comments we make that may hurt someone just a little ? Or some of the slightly cruel half-joke / half-truths that we make ? Or negative sentiments that we may repeat without cause ? Or little things - like CC'ing someone on an email that they were not intended to be a part of ? Which jokes about someone could leave damaging and lasting impressions ?
When we see someone else bringing out the worst in themselves, how many times do we egg them on ? Or repeat their mistakes ? How many times do we watch or judge ? How many times are we even aware enough about the situation to be able avert it without embarrassing or exposing them ?
Sometimes our poor reactions to situation are somewhat intentional, and they reflect our own irritation / lack of trust / past hurt / need for confirmation. Other times, we are simply insensitive and oblivious. If we find out do we do the right thing ? Apologize or address the issue, even if it is awkward and uncomfortable ? Do we at least address the issue within ourselves ? Do we excuse others at least as often as we excuse ourselves ?
We can apologize if our expression did not match our true sentiment. But what if we realize that it does ? What if we really do dis-respect someone’s skills, and our crass communication revealed it ? Or if we really did think they looked dowdy one day, and the gossip mill brought the comment back to them ? If we are to bring out the best in us, we have a harder task - not only must be address our communications, we must address the thought within. And we must adjust them so they become opinions, not judgments.
Our sense of humor does not have to be cruel. Our need for validation should not desire to put someone else down. Our way of viewing the world or interacting with it need not mean that someone else’s way is incorrect.
Everyday we have a thousand chances to bring out the best and the noblest in ourselves. To assume the best we can about people around us and situations we encounter. To interpret something in the brightest way possible. To “spread the love”. To mitigate our own discontent. To increase our own respect for ourselves and for the rest of the world.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
- Frank Outlaw
And ironically with this post, I bring out my preachy nature, rather than my best. I don't intend to, yet I am not making time to re-work my words.