The whole story up until now...so I never forget.
I really hope to say this is the last entry I ever post about a new boyfriend on here. I know it's been a while... The last relationship I had was with Alex... And wow.
I really feel like screaming "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" and I know a lot of people agree with that statement. He is a good guy and I hope he finds happiness somewhere else. We aren't on speaking terms anymore, but I guess I can say that my relationship with him was a learning experience. I learned that I needed to take a step back and think about what I wanted in a relationship. And not only should I know what I wanted, but my any guy who wanted to date me needed to know it off the bat.
Miguel. Oh my Miguel... I can't help but shake my head and smile, because the history between us is just so ridiculous. And I never realized until now that this is SO much of it.
*disclaimer*
I don't condone cheating, I really don't, but I have done it, and it is a difficult thing to deal with...Cheating and being cheated on. But really I think it's a sign of if you are really with the right person.... But more about that later.
April 7th, 2006
I'm pretty sure that's the date. The night we met. I really didn't think anything of it. I was there to congratulate the newest members of DPR on their crossing...it was just me and xtine. I can't remember everything clearly, like if we had talked at the apartment even, or what it was. All I know is that right when I got back to my apartment I already had a friend request from him... I was thinking "Man this kid is quick!" Didn't think anything else of him... but he on the other hand. I always laugh when I think of how he tells me, I walked into the room and there was some crazy aura about me or angels were singing or something cliche like that... how he knew I was special, or that he wanted me or... I dont know, but like yeah creepsville right?
April 8th, 2006
Relay for life... kinda when it all happened. We hung out with the PiRho crowd all night, it was freeeeeeeezing, and I can't stress that enough. Miguel and I were probably two of the only people consistently walking around the track, but it gave us time to chat and get to know eachother. We talked about everything... just never mentioned to him that... yeah I was dating Mike (at the time). Miguel was super sweet to me, as he is with anyone he meets... but he even went back to his dorm to get me a hoodie because I was freezing. I still that hoodie to this day...actually I'm wearing it right now!! =)
OKAY I'm admitting it here and now so LISTEN!!! I definitely developed a crush on Miguel that night, he was so easy to talk to, I thought he was really cute... reminded me of the oh SO sexy Michael Copon...Here's a picture for all you people who dont know who that is...
And...this is actually a picture of that night at Relay for Life.....our first picture together... I dont know if this was before or after he found out I had a boyfriend...
Resemblence anyone? Yes? No?...Well I think so... but I think mine is way cuter :-)
At some point in the night, I dont remember exactly how I told him, or how it came out, but he found out I had a boyfriend. It wasn't necessarily awkward after that, it was just kind of different, there a definite change of body language and interaction at that point. It made me feel really bad like I was leading him on... but at the same time I wasnt just going to tell him out of nowhere that I had a boyfriend, I felt that it would have been very presumtuous of me.
After that night I think Miguel and I began talking online... I dont remember who IMed who first, but I think it was him IMing me first. He might correct me on that but yeah... We talked about a lot of things, and I know one night it just got to the point that I was pouring out all my emotion about Mike to him, and how upset I was that Mike and I couldn't ever see eachother, and how I didnt think he appreciated me as a girlfriend, or if he even claimed me as such. Miguel did nothing but comfort me... although I hate to interpret things in hindsight, I was obviously very vulnerable and I wonder if he saw this as his opening... Actually I'm pretty sure he did. haha.
A couple nights later we decided to go to BWW, with Christine, of course as a buffer, well kinda. He met up with me at my apartment beforehand and we just kinda chilled before Christine picked us up...I think she picked us up...or did we walk there? Doesn't matter. Well while we were at my apartment, I remember talking with him, its all a haze. but I remember, I had our wooden stool, for some reason against the wall, and that where I was sitting, and there he was in front of me. And he just... got closer and closer... and *kiss*. I kissed back... Yes... It was wrong, but I kissed back. Then I pushed him away, told him I couldn't. He tried again, and I pushed him away. We proceeded to BWW as planned...ate, talked, it was all good. Christine dropped us off at my place after we were done eating, because we decided we were going to watch a movie.
Let me just say, this was a totally bad idea... and I blame me for this one, I should've known better at the time... but I don't regret it one bit. We watched... Clueless. In the livingroom, on the futon...in the dark... yeah one thing led to another and somehow we were kissing again... and then we were making out... next thing I know I'm laying on top of him and in my head I know it's wrong. Did I start crying?... This part gets so hazy. I remember words, but not the exact words. I remember him telling me he never wanted to see me sad, he wanted to make me happy all the time, just those crazy promises that guys always seem to make. They were very sweet and sincere I remember it, and it made me go from trying to resist him to finding him completely irresistible. Somehow we ended up in the bedroom, I think it was partially his suggestion and then my move. Ohhh it still makes me feel horrible to talk about it. But of course everyone knows what went on in the bedroom. And can I just say, to this day it is still the most incredible sex I have ever had in my life... Unfortunately at some point after, we were laying there, and my phone rang...that dreaded, "oh god i've been caught" feeling. More like the intense guilt feeling. I think that was the point that I kicked him out. Called my boyfriend, and confessed...but only to kissing Miguel... I didn't want to lose Mike completely so I lied.
By the way... don't ever lie about these things... I should have known that it was over between me and Mike from there...even though we still have quite the rollercoaster to ride after that...This was only April...Didn't end til November either... but I don't regret relationships I had...I just wish my eyes had been opened a little bit wider at the time.
Excerpts:
Entry from April 27th, 2006:
"It's all I really can think about. All I can think about is how much I let him down. How much I hate what happened. How huge of a mistake it was. But at the same time, I KNOW how badly I want to be with him. I know how much I want him in my life. I know how happy he makes me... and though i'm SO unhappy right now it's because right now, I feel like I'm gonna lose him... and to me that's unimagineable. I care about him so much, it's indescribeable......"
"If I had one wish right now, I would just want to be able to instantly get to him. It's so much harder not being able to be with him, especially right now. I don't know what he's doing right now. I don't know if he's sitting there hating me. I don't know if he's sitting there wishing I'd call him right now. I don't know... I just DONT KNOW.... and it sucks. I'm just not calling because I realize he needs space, time to figure out if what happend can be... forgiven...."
"I guess I really should have known beter than to put myself in that situation. And I feel so so so stupid. I want to kick myself for it. I just hate myself so much right now... I wish I could undo it all... not ALL... just the mistake. And maybe some things I said... I dont want him to think I dont appreciate him. I dont want him to think that I dont think he cares at all about me... If that was the case then why would I want to be with him in the first place.... There is so much more on my mind... I just dont know that I should say anymore.... cept."
After that I went from having a crush on Miguel to absolutly hating his guts. I wanted nothing more than for him to disappear from the planet. I wanted so badly to undo everything. I saw him at a party one night, and I just lost it. Some of it had 2 do with the fact that I was intoxicated. I ended up outside of the party, bawling on the phone with Mike to forgive me...Miguel came out seeing if everything was okay... It wasn't really the best time for him to be helpful. I even punched a wall... my hand was pretty badly bruised for the next week...I don't recall there being much communication between Miguel and I for the rest of that school year.
* * *
Fall 2006.
I was dating Alex #1. Pi Rho Party: My first encounter with Miguel... a stolen kiss on the dance floor. Why does he make me SO WEAK?!... Like seriously, why do I keep falling back to him? He told me that night he'd give up everything for me. That lil line got out and made some people mad. I still had resentment toward him. But secretly still thought he was so cute. I didn't trust him because of what happened between us in the previous semester. I think I still went on avoiding him when I saw him on campus. Sometime toward the end of the semester I got an invite from Gyn to go see Happy Feet with her and Euna. Nobody told me that Miguel was invited too... He showed up at my apartment because Gyn apparently told him we'd all just drive together and since he was already on campus it would be easier for him to meet up with us from there... Talk about awkward. One time I saw something about Happy Feet on TV when he was over, and I asked him if he remembered when we saw it together. He said, I remember we were in the same theater...we were not together. Apparently I made it apparent that night that I was still uncomfortable with him...I dont really remember a lof ot what happened this semester if anything between me and Miguel. I don't think we hooked up... Ima have to confirm that with him haha...oh sad.
* * *
Spring 2007
Mardi gras, we went to Bdubs, met up with the Pi Rhos... I remember whispering something in Miguels ear about how much I loved the boyfriend I was with at the time... blah blah blah... He told me I always have a new boyfriend....
I remember him calling me over Spring break, the day that Tommy died. I was at Alex #2's house in Rockford. He was calling me to make sure I was okay and alive. I had no idea it was him on the line. I felt bad not knowing, but also kind of weirded out because I was with my boyfriend. You know how that goes.
Alex and I broke up pretty much April Fools day. Somewhere after that Miguel and I would run into eachother on campus, whether it was him not going to class or me not going to class... we'd maybe grab something to eat, maybe sit around and play the game how many people do I know on campus, and sometimes he'd walk me to class and try to kiss me on the stairs inside CL50. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes I pushed him away. He was my secret... It was like one of those, don't stand too close to me people might think we're together. I was running around being a crazy party girl again, just as I always do after bad break ups, just as the always are... I know Miguel came over one night. I think it was the night we hung out and talked. I liked being around him, but I still rejected him in that...dating sense... we had Chipotle, then went back to my place and watched TV in my room. Christine came home and saw us in a "lurid embrace" or so she says... she always returned to work and told Ubaldo of her findings... haha. Oh, and of course we ended up hooking up that night. Just as amazing as it was the first time.
I just couldn't bring myself to admit that I liked him, that I actually liked him. He made me laugh, he made me feel special. He always did, since that night of Relay.
I wasn't over Alex at the time... I wanted to see if I could make it work. I always do.
A year and half went by and I still rejected him.
* * *
Summer 2007
Miguel would call him every now and then or IM me. Asking me if I wanted to hang out some time over the summer. Or when he could visit me. I thought him visiting was a bad idea. I kind of wanted him to, but I just kept telling him I was busy. Which at times I was, but If i had really wanted to make a visit work I could have. I remember talking to him online one night... telling him I still wanted to work things out with Alex, but I finally promised him that I would let him take me on ONE date.
* * *
Fall 2007
Fall came, and I was almost going to not return to Purdue again, but I was back and ready to go. That first night Kippie and I went to Cactus the week before school started. Right afterward, probably 2am. I called Miguel. He was at a retreat so he didnt answer the phone, but man Kippie was like... WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM?!...I mean he was literally the first guy I called when I got back. I was wasted mind you... maybe my subconcious was ready for him. But I still didn't know if I was.
I remember hanging out with him a couple times in the first week or so...I'm pretty sure we had dinner one night, that date I promised him. I remember picking him up in the alley by his house... and thinking I was going to be in big trouble because he looked so damn good to me.
He came over to study every now and then that first week or so... studying we did a minimum of...but the sex was stellar as usual. I had been begging him to spend the night with me to cuddle for the first week, and finally after NPHC Ice Breakers he came over...and brought me Lovshack... then we loveshacked hahaha...
The following Thursday I was at Cactus with Christine and for some reason Miguel and I decided to have serious IMing time in my drunken state. We already had a date planned the next night, and it was decided that we were going to talk about what was going to happen between us.
* * *
First Date:
This was our first real date date. We weren't a couple or anything yet... but it was something we were going to discuss that night at dinner. We went to see Superbad before we went to have dinner. It was a good movie, I enjoyed it. We went to Scotty's for dinner and had our adult talk. I did exactly what I said I needed to do. I laid it out there for him. I told him what I wanted, and and what I didnt want. I told him how much I had come to like him. I told him my concern about how I knew he had liked me for so long... but I feared that once he got what he wanted he wouldnt want it anymore. He assured me that it wouldn't end up like that. We started anticipating things like what could happen after I graduate...and then he started to talk like... "I have a lot that I still want to do... I'm not 21 yet, I haven't experienced the night life, or partying at the bars and meeting random people." I told him that nobody meets their potential wife at a bar drunk off your ass... He said you never know. I started to get the feeling that he was going to reject me. Everything he was saying to me kept making me feel worse and worse. I knew he could see I was on the verge of tears... I just kept thinking, "I thought we were finally on the same page"... Finally, he looks at me, with tears in my eyes, reaches across the table and takes both my hands, "So, will you be my girlfriend?"
My jaw about hit the table. The tears of sadness I was feeling soon turned in to tears of shock and happiness. I dont think that they actuallky came out, but I was speechless and confused. I had to ask him if he was kidding me. But he was serious, and that's how we came to be Mandie & Miguel.
August 31, 2007 10:24:34 <-- we joke that that was the exact time.
* * *
So we're coming up on 5 months now. And I have never felt this way about anybody in my life. He told me some things on Saturday that still seem unreal to me, but I can't wipe this smile off my face.
He's my ideal. He's what I've always wanted. And I've always been in love with him.
Just took me a while to figure that out.
* * *
Some of my favorites of us
I really feel like screaming "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" and I know a lot of people agree with that statement. He is a good guy and I hope he finds happiness somewhere else. We aren't on speaking terms anymore, but I guess I can say that my relationship with him was a learning experience. I learned that I needed to take a step back and think about what I wanted in a relationship. And not only should I know what I wanted, but my any guy who wanted to date me needed to know it off the bat.
Miguel. Oh my Miguel... I can't help but shake my head and smile, because the history between us is just so ridiculous. And I never realized until now that this is SO much of it.
*disclaimer*
I don't condone cheating, I really don't, but I have done it, and it is a difficult thing to deal with...Cheating and being cheated on. But really I think it's a sign of if you are really with the right person.... But more about that later.
April 7th, 2006
I'm pretty sure that's the date. The night we met. I really didn't think anything of it. I was there to congratulate the newest members of DPR on their crossing...it was just me and xtine. I can't remember everything clearly, like if we had talked at the apartment even, or what it was. All I know is that right when I got back to my apartment I already had a friend request from him... I was thinking "Man this kid is quick!" Didn't think anything else of him... but he on the other hand. I always laugh when I think of how he tells me, I walked into the room and there was some crazy aura about me or angels were singing or something cliche like that... how he knew I was special, or that he wanted me or... I dont know, but like yeah creepsville right?
April 8th, 2006
Relay for life... kinda when it all happened. We hung out with the PiRho crowd all night, it was freeeeeeeezing, and I can't stress that enough. Miguel and I were probably two of the only people consistently walking around the track, but it gave us time to chat and get to know eachother. We talked about everything... just never mentioned to him that... yeah I was dating Mike (at the time). Miguel was super sweet to me, as he is with anyone he meets... but he even went back to his dorm to get me a hoodie because I was freezing. I still that hoodie to this day...actually I'm wearing it right now!! =)
OKAY I'm admitting it here and now so LISTEN!!! I definitely developed a crush on Miguel that night, he was so easy to talk to, I thought he was really cute... reminded me of the oh SO sexy Michael Copon...Here's a picture for all you people who dont know who that is...
And...this is actually a picture of that night at Relay for Life.....our first picture together... I dont know if this was before or after he found out I had a boyfriend...
Resemblence anyone? Yes? No?...Well I think so... but I think mine is way cuter :-)
At some point in the night, I dont remember exactly how I told him, or how it came out, but he found out I had a boyfriend. It wasn't necessarily awkward after that, it was just kind of different, there a definite change of body language and interaction at that point. It made me feel really bad like I was leading him on... but at the same time I wasnt just going to tell him out of nowhere that I had a boyfriend, I felt that it would have been very presumtuous of me.
After that night I think Miguel and I began talking online... I dont remember who IMed who first, but I think it was him IMing me first. He might correct me on that but yeah... We talked about a lot of things, and I know one night it just got to the point that I was pouring out all my emotion about Mike to him, and how upset I was that Mike and I couldn't ever see eachother, and how I didnt think he appreciated me as a girlfriend, or if he even claimed me as such. Miguel did nothing but comfort me... although I hate to interpret things in hindsight, I was obviously very vulnerable and I wonder if he saw this as his opening... Actually I'm pretty sure he did. haha.
A couple nights later we decided to go to BWW, with Christine, of course as a buffer, well kinda. He met up with me at my apartment beforehand and we just kinda chilled before Christine picked us up...I think she picked us up...or did we walk there? Doesn't matter. Well while we were at my apartment, I remember talking with him, its all a haze. but I remember, I had our wooden stool, for some reason against the wall, and that where I was sitting, and there he was in front of me. And he just... got closer and closer... and *kiss*. I kissed back... Yes... It was wrong, but I kissed back. Then I pushed him away, told him I couldn't. He tried again, and I pushed him away. We proceeded to BWW as planned...ate, talked, it was all good. Christine dropped us off at my place after we were done eating, because we decided we were going to watch a movie.
Let me just say, this was a totally bad idea... and I blame me for this one, I should've known better at the time... but I don't regret it one bit. We watched... Clueless. In the livingroom, on the futon...in the dark... yeah one thing led to another and somehow we were kissing again... and then we were making out... next thing I know I'm laying on top of him and in my head I know it's wrong. Did I start crying?... This part gets so hazy. I remember words, but not the exact words. I remember him telling me he never wanted to see me sad, he wanted to make me happy all the time, just those crazy promises that guys always seem to make. They were very sweet and sincere I remember it, and it made me go from trying to resist him to finding him completely irresistible. Somehow we ended up in the bedroom, I think it was partially his suggestion and then my move. Ohhh it still makes me feel horrible to talk about it. But of course everyone knows what went on in the bedroom. And can I just say, to this day it is still the most incredible sex I have ever had in my life... Unfortunately at some point after, we were laying there, and my phone rang...that dreaded, "oh god i've been caught" feeling. More like the intense guilt feeling. I think that was the point that I kicked him out. Called my boyfriend, and confessed...but only to kissing Miguel... I didn't want to lose Mike completely so I lied.
By the way... don't ever lie about these things... I should have known that it was over between me and Mike from there...even though we still have quite the rollercoaster to ride after that...This was only April...Didn't end til November either... but I don't regret relationships I had...I just wish my eyes had been opened a little bit wider at the time.
Excerpts:
Entry from April 27th, 2006:
"It's all I really can think about. All I can think about is how much I let him down. How much I hate what happened. How huge of a mistake it was. But at the same time, I KNOW how badly I want to be with him. I know how much I want him in my life. I know how happy he makes me... and though i'm SO unhappy right now it's because right now, I feel like I'm gonna lose him... and to me that's unimagineable. I care about him so much, it's indescribeable......"
"If I had one wish right now, I would just want to be able to instantly get to him. It's so much harder not being able to be with him, especially right now. I don't know what he's doing right now. I don't know if he's sitting there hating me. I don't know if he's sitting there wishing I'd call him right now. I don't know... I just DONT KNOW.... and it sucks. I'm just not calling because I realize he needs space, time to figure out if what happend can be... forgiven...."
"I guess I really should have known beter than to put myself in that situation. And I feel so so so stupid. I want to kick myself for it. I just hate myself so much right now... I wish I could undo it all... not ALL... just the mistake. And maybe some things I said... I dont want him to think I dont appreciate him. I dont want him to think that I dont think he cares at all about me... If that was the case then why would I want to be with him in the first place.... There is so much more on my mind... I just dont know that I should say anymore.... cept."
After that I went from having a crush on Miguel to absolutly hating his guts. I wanted nothing more than for him to disappear from the planet. I wanted so badly to undo everything. I saw him at a party one night, and I just lost it. Some of it had 2 do with the fact that I was intoxicated. I ended up outside of the party, bawling on the phone with Mike to forgive me...Miguel came out seeing if everything was okay... It wasn't really the best time for him to be helpful. I even punched a wall... my hand was pretty badly bruised for the next week...I don't recall there being much communication between Miguel and I for the rest of that school year.
* * *
Fall 2006.
I was dating Alex #1. Pi Rho Party: My first encounter with Miguel... a stolen kiss on the dance floor. Why does he make me SO WEAK?!... Like seriously, why do I keep falling back to him? He told me that night he'd give up everything for me. That lil line got out and made some people mad. I still had resentment toward him. But secretly still thought he was so cute. I didn't trust him because of what happened between us in the previous semester. I think I still went on avoiding him when I saw him on campus. Sometime toward the end of the semester I got an invite from Gyn to go see Happy Feet with her and Euna. Nobody told me that Miguel was invited too... He showed up at my apartment because Gyn apparently told him we'd all just drive together and since he was already on campus it would be easier for him to meet up with us from there... Talk about awkward. One time I saw something about Happy Feet on TV when he was over, and I asked him if he remembered when we saw it together. He said, I remember we were in the same theater...we were not together. Apparently I made it apparent that night that I was still uncomfortable with him...I dont really remember a lof ot what happened this semester if anything between me and Miguel. I don't think we hooked up... Ima have to confirm that with him haha...oh sad.
* * *
Spring 2007
Mardi gras, we went to Bdubs, met up with the Pi Rhos... I remember whispering something in Miguels ear about how much I loved the boyfriend I was with at the time... blah blah blah... He told me I always have a new boyfriend....
I remember him calling me over Spring break, the day that Tommy died. I was at Alex #2's house in Rockford. He was calling me to make sure I was okay and alive. I had no idea it was him on the line. I felt bad not knowing, but also kind of weirded out because I was with my boyfriend. You know how that goes.
Alex and I broke up pretty much April Fools day. Somewhere after that Miguel and I would run into eachother on campus, whether it was him not going to class or me not going to class... we'd maybe grab something to eat, maybe sit around and play the game how many people do I know on campus, and sometimes he'd walk me to class and try to kiss me on the stairs inside CL50. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes I pushed him away. He was my secret... It was like one of those, don't stand too close to me people might think we're together. I was running around being a crazy party girl again, just as I always do after bad break ups, just as the always are... I know Miguel came over one night. I think it was the night we hung out and talked. I liked being around him, but I still rejected him in that...dating sense... we had Chipotle, then went back to my place and watched TV in my room. Christine came home and saw us in a "lurid embrace" or so she says... she always returned to work and told Ubaldo of her findings... haha. Oh, and of course we ended up hooking up that night. Just as amazing as it was the first time.
I just couldn't bring myself to admit that I liked him, that I actually liked him. He made me laugh, he made me feel special. He always did, since that night of Relay.
I wasn't over Alex at the time... I wanted to see if I could make it work. I always do.
A year and half went by and I still rejected him.
* * *
Summer 2007
Miguel would call him every now and then or IM me. Asking me if I wanted to hang out some time over the summer. Or when he could visit me. I thought him visiting was a bad idea. I kind of wanted him to, but I just kept telling him I was busy. Which at times I was, but If i had really wanted to make a visit work I could have. I remember talking to him online one night... telling him I still wanted to work things out with Alex, but I finally promised him that I would let him take me on ONE date.
* * *
Fall 2007
Fall came, and I was almost going to not return to Purdue again, but I was back and ready to go. That first night Kippie and I went to Cactus the week before school started. Right afterward, probably 2am. I called Miguel. He was at a retreat so he didnt answer the phone, but man Kippie was like... WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM?!...I mean he was literally the first guy I called when I got back. I was wasted mind you... maybe my subconcious was ready for him. But I still didn't know if I was.
I remember hanging out with him a couple times in the first week or so...I'm pretty sure we had dinner one night, that date I promised him. I remember picking him up in the alley by his house... and thinking I was going to be in big trouble because he looked so damn good to me.
He came over to study every now and then that first week or so... studying we did a minimum of...but the sex was stellar as usual. I had been begging him to spend the night with me to cuddle for the first week, and finally after NPHC Ice Breakers he came over...and brought me Lovshack... then we loveshacked hahaha...
The following Thursday I was at Cactus with Christine and for some reason Miguel and I decided to have serious IMing time in my drunken state. We already had a date planned the next night, and it was decided that we were going to talk about what was going to happen between us.
* * *
First Date:
This was our first real date date. We weren't a couple or anything yet... but it was something we were going to discuss that night at dinner. We went to see Superbad before we went to have dinner. It was a good movie, I enjoyed it. We went to Scotty's for dinner and had our adult talk. I did exactly what I said I needed to do. I laid it out there for him. I told him what I wanted, and and what I didnt want. I told him how much I had come to like him. I told him my concern about how I knew he had liked me for so long... but I feared that once he got what he wanted he wouldnt want it anymore. He assured me that it wouldn't end up like that. We started anticipating things like what could happen after I graduate...and then he started to talk like... "I have a lot that I still want to do... I'm not 21 yet, I haven't experienced the night life, or partying at the bars and meeting random people." I told him that nobody meets their potential wife at a bar drunk off your ass... He said you never know. I started to get the feeling that he was going to reject me. Everything he was saying to me kept making me feel worse and worse. I knew he could see I was on the verge of tears... I just kept thinking, "I thought we were finally on the same page"... Finally, he looks at me, with tears in my eyes, reaches across the table and takes both my hands, "So, will you be my girlfriend?"
My jaw about hit the table. The tears of sadness I was feeling soon turned in to tears of shock and happiness. I dont think that they actuallky came out, but I was speechless and confused. I had to ask him if he was kidding me. But he was serious, and that's how we came to be Mandie & Miguel.
August 31, 2007 10:24:34 <-- we joke that that was the exact time.
* * *
So we're coming up on 5 months now. And I have never felt this way about anybody in my life. He told me some things on Saturday that still seem unreal to me, but I can't wipe this smile off my face.
He's my ideal. He's what I've always wanted. And I've always been in love with him.
Just took me a while to figure that out.
* * *
Some of my favorites of us