my mood changes like new england weather
Alright i have been begging for a nite alone for weeks now and all i have wanted was a nite slone in my bed so i could get the sleep i really need. Tonite sean is sleeping at his moms house and im sleepin ay my house cuz i have school in the morning and wouldnt have a way to get there otherwise. YES i get what i wanted but as soon as i got home and sean left i got depressed. i dont want to sleep alone. i want him there holdin me rubbingmy head til i fall asleep. sleepin without him is going to feel wierd. truthfully i almost started to cry cuz i felt so alone. Damn i hate these mood swings. i need to fuckin grow up. its just one nite and ill probably be loving the rest i get tomorrow. i dont have to fight for pillows or blankets. i dont have to fight for space on the bed. i wont have to worry bout elbows and knees in me. well except for james. i wont have to roll him over when he starts to snore. i can prop a pillow behind me so i feel like im being cuddled. but its not the same. i have gotten so use to him kissing me goodnite and rubbin my head or my belly til either one of s falls asleep. i use him as a way to prop my legs up. i sleep on him more than i sleep on the bed. he is my bed well at least my pillow. ill just comfort myself by repeating over an over in my head that he feels the same as me. i doubt that cuz he isnt a roller coaster of emotions like me. plus he has taken so much nitequil that he is probably already asleep. alright im going to stop bitchen and go to sleep. ill see him tomorrow.