Sad, sad situation
I feel like writing tonight. Not sure what I'll say. I know it won't flow. But I feel like it.
I always find it incredibly hard to get back into writing when I've had a break from it (I wrote my diary for the first time in a month on Friday) but here I am. I'm breaking the seal, so to speak.
The main thing that's driven me to write tonight, and I'll get it over with first because it's incredibly sad, is that my friend's dad died over the weekend. I've had a few people in my life die. Some of those deaths have been easier to understand than others, but generally, the older I get, the less I understand it all. What annoyed me today, and I can't decide if this makes me feel like a very small person or not, is the vacuous banter that came when the news was released at work. Everyone started spilling out their standard phrases. They didn't even sound caring. All they sounded like were the stupid routine things people say when something like this happens. "Isn't it sad...It's ashame that she's so young...she is young isn't she?...not married yet is she?". What the H E double hockey sticks does whether she's married or not have anything to do with anything? As if she'd be more able to cope with this if she was married. Maybe I'm just on my single person's podium. Maybe I'm just frustrated at how little they know her. I don't know her all that well myself but I don't come out with empty statements like that. I think it may just be that I have moved to a new team and the conversation always sounds mindless. If it's not other people's babies it's other people's weddings. Boring boring boring. Then this today...if you can't say something intelligent...god I'm intolerant of other people sometimes.
Don't think this is worth posting but I have to post something just to get back into it because I quite like posting my minor observations on life. My own life at the moment is okay. Nothing eventful which is probably just as well. Felt brighter today after I came home and listened to "Mrs Mills Non-stop Honkytonk Party" on my record player. Been cycling to work lots and my brother comes home from Germany tomorrow, so those are another 2 positives.
I will write something more cheerful next time. I promise.
I always find it incredibly hard to get back into writing when I've had a break from it (I wrote my diary for the first time in a month on Friday) but here I am. I'm breaking the seal, so to speak.
The main thing that's driven me to write tonight, and I'll get it over with first because it's incredibly sad, is that my friend's dad died over the weekend. I've had a few people in my life die. Some of those deaths have been easier to understand than others, but generally, the older I get, the less I understand it all. What annoyed me today, and I can't decide if this makes me feel like a very small person or not, is the vacuous banter that came when the news was released at work. Everyone started spilling out their standard phrases. They didn't even sound caring. All they sounded like were the stupid routine things people say when something like this happens. "Isn't it sad...It's ashame that she's so young...she is young isn't she?...not married yet is she?". What the H E double hockey sticks does whether she's married or not have anything to do with anything? As if she'd be more able to cope with this if she was married. Maybe I'm just on my single person's podium. Maybe I'm just frustrated at how little they know her. I don't know her all that well myself but I don't come out with empty statements like that. I think it may just be that I have moved to a new team and the conversation always sounds mindless. If it's not other people's babies it's other people's weddings. Boring boring boring. Then this today...if you can't say something intelligent...god I'm intolerant of other people sometimes.
Don't think this is worth posting but I have to post something just to get back into it because I quite like posting my minor observations on life. My own life at the moment is okay. Nothing eventful which is probably just as well. Felt brighter today after I came home and listened to "Mrs Mills Non-stop Honkytonk Party" on my record player. Been cycling to work lots and my brother comes home from Germany tomorrow, so those are another 2 positives.
I will write something more cheerful next time. I promise.