enough about you, let's talk about me for a minute
(singing karoke to oldskool alanis will remain one of the highlights of my summer)
What People Think is one of those great unknowns that haunt me in recurring, gnawing, almost banal fashion. to a large extent, folks would argue, it doesn't matter. and to a large extent folks are shit-for-brains. of course it matters! that's not the question.
i used to ask/make friends write a message in my notebook. if they wanted to lie, they'd have to lie in writing, that was my idea. and whatever they said, i could pore over it later, on repeat, in the privacy of my own bedroom.
at some point i stopped requesting people to write in my book, which left me with two options: i could infer what my friends thought of me from their suspicious activities, frequency of initiation of contact, amount of visible pleasure in my company, &c, or i could ask them, straight out. people tend to look at you funny when, after several weeks of hanging out, you demand to know if they like you, so that route's pretty much a no-go.
cty, without my asking, made it easy. one morning, while emily and i were off on a field trip with the art history class, the RAs circulated a piece of paper for each RA on which their peers could write nice things about them. in true neurotic fashion, i have pored over my sheet of paper, on repeat, in the privacy of my own bedroom. i have looked for hidden messages. i have struggled with handwriting. and now, for your edification and for the elucidation of my character, i have boiled it down to keywords, based on frequency of use.
STRONG/STRENGTH ... 2
FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH ... 1
SHARP/SHARPNESS ... 2
ZOMBIES ... 2
JEOPARDY ... 2
QUEEN/QUEENIE ... 3
SWEET/SWEETHEART ... 2
DIVA ... 1
ROCK ... 4
RAD T-SHIRTS/EMO SHIRT ... 2
YOU WILL MAKE THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE. YOU WILL CHANGE THE STARS ... 1
COOL AND CALM ... 1
NY/NYC ... 4
WHEN SHE TALKS, PEOPLE LISTEN! ... 1
GREAT ... 4
HUMOR ... 2
What People Think is one of those great unknowns that haunt me in recurring, gnawing, almost banal fashion. to a large extent, folks would argue, it doesn't matter. and to a large extent folks are shit-for-brains. of course it matters! that's not the question.
i used to ask/make friends write a message in my notebook. if they wanted to lie, they'd have to lie in writing, that was my idea. and whatever they said, i could pore over it later, on repeat, in the privacy of my own bedroom.
at some point i stopped requesting people to write in my book, which left me with two options: i could infer what my friends thought of me from their suspicious activities, frequency of initiation of contact, amount of visible pleasure in my company, &c, or i could ask them, straight out. people tend to look at you funny when, after several weeks of hanging out, you demand to know if they like you, so that route's pretty much a no-go.
cty, without my asking, made it easy. one morning, while emily and i were off on a field trip with the art history class, the RAs circulated a piece of paper for each RA on which their peers could write nice things about them. in true neurotic fashion, i have pored over my sheet of paper, on repeat, in the privacy of my own bedroom. i have looked for hidden messages. i have struggled with handwriting. and now, for your edification and for the elucidation of my character, i have boiled it down to keywords, based on frequency of use.
STRONG/STRENGTH ... 2
FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH ... 1
SHARP/SHARPNESS ... 2
ZOMBIES ... 2
JEOPARDY ... 2
QUEEN/QUEENIE ... 3
SWEET/SWEETHEART ... 2
DIVA ... 1
ROCK ... 4
RAD T-SHIRTS/EMO SHIRT ... 2
YOU WILL MAKE THINGS HAPPEN IN LIFE. YOU WILL CHANGE THE STARS ... 1
COOL AND CALM ... 1
NY/NYC ... 4
WHEN SHE TALKS, PEOPLE LISTEN! ... 1
GREAT ... 4
HUMOR ... 2