dance number FIVE
man, that's a lot of cty dances. like most aspects of cty, i've found the dances less painful as an RA, and at the same time i tend to appreciate the same moments now as i did as a camper: the traditions. time warp! instanbul! the songs you can sing along to. when people sing, the dancing tends to fall in importance, meaning i have to worry less about constantly being judged.
this evening i snuck outside and had one of those Conversations with beth where, if she and i were smokers, we would have been smoking. chain smoking, and squinting, and looking coooooool. boys, body image, the attractions/pointlessness of casual sex. she is the southern catholic version of me.
eventually tonextpage had to sneak back to work and i had to return to the dance floor, trying to walk sexy instead of wobbly on emily's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun heels. "american pie" was as satisfying the fifth time as it was the first. my last three "stairways" have been totally asexual. it feels like a choice too, not just like being thirteen again.
now i've put my girls to bed (they're so obedient) and i'm eating free cold lo-mein with a spoon. only one more week of this craziness. i'll definitely miss having easy-access friends around all the time. like college but different; and new york will be even more different still. and also, i'm relishing my last few moments of living alone in a big room with a fireplace (ornamental. still.), a bathroom, an air conditioner, and a closet that hasn't kept me from sleeping. i know that living with ben will have its perks -- one vital one immediately jumps to mind -- but i will certainly miss this casual communal thing.
this evening i snuck outside and had one of those Conversations with beth where, if she and i were smokers, we would have been smoking. chain smoking, and squinting, and looking coooooool. boys, body image, the attractions/pointlessness of casual sex. she is the southern catholic version of me.
eventually tonextpage had to sneak back to work and i had to return to the dance floor, trying to walk sexy instead of wobbly on emily's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun heels. "american pie" was as satisfying the fifth time as it was the first. my last three "stairways" have been totally asexual. it feels like a choice too, not just like being thirteen again.
now i've put my girls to bed (they're so obedient) and i'm eating free cold lo-mein with a spoon. only one more week of this craziness. i'll definitely miss having easy-access friends around all the time. like college but different; and new york will be even more different still. and also, i'm relishing my last few moments of living alone in a big room with a fireplace (ornamental. still.), a bathroom, an air conditioner, and a closet that hasn't kept me from sleeping. i know that living with ben will have its perks -- one vital one immediately jumps to mind -- but i will certainly miss this casual communal thing.