(no subject)
Soooo, Daniel and I ended up eating dinner together on Sunday night and not really talking (like we should have at least). I was still confused on why he took so much time away from me and it felt like nothing changed. Well, on Monday, he explained to me that he was thinking about his coworker, Cori.
Well, you see, at first I didn't care. It's human instinct to be attracted to the opposite sex. I talked to him (through texts) and, after thinking about it, I sounded like a fucking cool girlfriend for not even caring.
Now, it's eating me up inside. Is he thinking about me or her? Is he texting her? Why does he spend all day at work (even longer than he's scheduled all the time) and then go back for more to work out? Is it because he wants to get in better shape or to see her more? It's hard to understand when I feel so left out.
I told him tonight that I wanted all of him. I want his lust, friendship, love...just everything. I began to think about it. I want all of him, so I can't share. I want all of him or none of him. It seriously made me begin to think about what good is a guy if he can't give you his all...what makes him think he deserves your all? Meh, negative thoughts just kept piling up.
I did end up snapping at him tonight though. He asked me how self defense went and I asked him if he even cared. I just don't feel very loved right now. After all this space and how he's acting currently... I just feel like I should leave him alone some more.
Maybe that's what he wants. More space. Maybe he wants a break to see what else is out there. Now that he's beginning to break out of his shell, maybe he's realizing the world is full of women and he now has the courage to talk to him.
I told my dad about Daniel wanting space a while ago. After thanking him tonight for being such an ass (as it helped in my self defense class), he asked if Daniel was doing steroids and stuff and that's why he was mad. I explained about his crush on Cori and my dad just simply said he saw it coming from 100yards away. Working with active, fit, happy people is a given opportunity.
I'm not even sure what else to say. I'm not sure what to do. I want to forget about it, but he spends more time with her than he does with me.
Ugh. I'm sorry I ever put Daniel through these horrible feelings. I already understand how he feels though because it's happened to me. It's a heart breaking experience. I just don't want to be with someone who isn't 100% sure they want to be with me. I guess that's the bottom line.
Well, you see, at first I didn't care. It's human instinct to be attracted to the opposite sex. I talked to him (through texts) and, after thinking about it, I sounded like a fucking cool girlfriend for not even caring.
Now, it's eating me up inside. Is he thinking about me or her? Is he texting her? Why does he spend all day at work (even longer than he's scheduled all the time) and then go back for more to work out? Is it because he wants to get in better shape or to see her more? It's hard to understand when I feel so left out.
I told him tonight that I wanted all of him. I want his lust, friendship, love...just everything. I began to think about it. I want all of him, so I can't share. I want all of him or none of him. It seriously made me begin to think about what good is a guy if he can't give you his all...what makes him think he deserves your all? Meh, negative thoughts just kept piling up.
I did end up snapping at him tonight though. He asked me how self defense went and I asked him if he even cared. I just don't feel very loved right now. After all this space and how he's acting currently... I just feel like I should leave him alone some more.
Maybe that's what he wants. More space. Maybe he wants a break to see what else is out there. Now that he's beginning to break out of his shell, maybe he's realizing the world is full of women and he now has the courage to talk to him.
I told my dad about Daniel wanting space a while ago. After thanking him tonight for being such an ass (as it helped in my self defense class), he asked if Daniel was doing steroids and stuff and that's why he was mad. I explained about his crush on Cori and my dad just simply said he saw it coming from 100yards away. Working with active, fit, happy people is a given opportunity.
I'm not even sure what else to say. I'm not sure what to do. I want to forget about it, but he spends more time with her than he does with me.
Ugh. I'm sorry I ever put Daniel through these horrible feelings. I already understand how he feels though because it's happened to me. It's a heart breaking experience. I just don't want to be with someone who isn't 100% sure they want to be with me. I guess that's the bottom line.