i miss my dog.
Today I was looking through my pictures on my laptop, and I stumbled onto an old picture of my dog, Wisdom. She was my baby. If you guys didn't know, we had to put Wisdom to sleep last November because she has respiratory problems, and since it was the day before Thanksgiving, there was no one who was able to help her, she would have to spend a few days in the oxygen chamber until Monday. After a few hours, the vet called and said that it wasn't doing her any better, she wasn't responding to treatment and the vet wasn't even sure if she was going to make it through the weekend.
It was such a difficult decision to make. I wanted to keep her, I wanted use all the options, but there weren't very many. It was either keep her in the hospital, in that oxygen cell by herself, and let her suffer on her own until the Thanksgiving week was over, or let her go. I wanted to keep her. It was going to cost thousands of dollars to do it, but we didn't care. But it would be selfish. If she didn't make it through the weekend, she would be hurting all by herself. So we had to make the decision, and we put her to sleep.
I'll never forget what that day was like, staring at her through the clear door of the oxygen chamber. She was so glad to see us, she was wagging her tail when we came into view. I remember talking to her telling her how much I loved her and that I was going to miss her so much, and that I was sorry. I remember me and my mom holding her and all of a sudden she went limp in our arms, and she was gone. How was it possible that just a week ago she was fine, and following me around the house, and hogging up my bed, and all of a sudden she's gone? I couldn't even fix it. It wasn't a gradual process. It was so sudden.
That single photograph brought back all these emotions and feelings that I had buried deep inside of me so I could resume a normal life. There was never a day I didn't think about her, and even more everytime i see a dog I think of my own. I look at that photograph with her big bright eyes staring back at me, and even though it was a still photograph she still looked so animated, so full of love and life. How could one small little ball of fluff have so much love to give, and how did I have so much love for her?
I can't even contain myself typing up this blog, good thing melissa went upstairs to go to sleep. I miss her so much, and there's nothing to do but to tell myself that she's not hurting anymore and that shes "in a better place". Although I know that this is true, it does not thing to alleviate this hole in my heart.
If there was something for me to learn from this heartbreaking experience, I would say that it was to cherish your loved ones, let them know how much you love them, and tresure your days. It's like that one line "Nothing's promised tomorrow, today." It's a bit cliche, and you hear it all the time, but it is SO true.
I miss you so much.
It was such a difficult decision to make. I wanted to keep her, I wanted use all the options, but there weren't very many. It was either keep her in the hospital, in that oxygen cell by herself, and let her suffer on her own until the Thanksgiving week was over, or let her go. I wanted to keep her. It was going to cost thousands of dollars to do it, but we didn't care. But it would be selfish. If she didn't make it through the weekend, she would be hurting all by herself. So we had to make the decision, and we put her to sleep.
I'll never forget what that day was like, staring at her through the clear door of the oxygen chamber. She was so glad to see us, she was wagging her tail when we came into view. I remember talking to her telling her how much I loved her and that I was going to miss her so much, and that I was sorry. I remember me and my mom holding her and all of a sudden she went limp in our arms, and she was gone. How was it possible that just a week ago she was fine, and following me around the house, and hogging up my bed, and all of a sudden she's gone? I couldn't even fix it. It wasn't a gradual process. It was so sudden.
That single photograph brought back all these emotions and feelings that I had buried deep inside of me so I could resume a normal life. There was never a day I didn't think about her, and even more everytime i see a dog I think of my own. I look at that photograph with her big bright eyes staring back at me, and even though it was a still photograph she still looked so animated, so full of love and life. How could one small little ball of fluff have so much love to give, and how did I have so much love for her?
I can't even contain myself typing up this blog, good thing melissa went upstairs to go to sleep. I miss her so much, and there's nothing to do but to tell myself that she's not hurting anymore and that shes "in a better place". Although I know that this is true, it does not thing to alleviate this hole in my heart.
If there was something for me to learn from this heartbreaking experience, I would say that it was to cherish your loved ones, let them know how much you love them, and tresure your days. It's like that one line "Nothing's promised tomorrow, today." It's a bit cliche, and you hear it all the time, but it is SO true.
I miss you so much.