(no subject)
So tomorrow I leave for....Florida!!! Yes, and I am very very excited. Me and Chelsea are going to have the FUNNEST time in life. I've never gone on vacation with my best friend since ohhhh....Amanda? And that was upnorth...I don't think I've ever left the state with my best friend. lol. But none the less, I kno I'm going to have a really GOOD time. Yeah, I've been to Florida before, and everytime, I never really had that much fun....but I know Chelsea will make it fun and omg, im just so excited.
Besides the whole Florida thing, Me and Tevin broke up. Well, I broke up with him. I just couldn't deal with him anymore. The way he talked to me. I learned my lesson from Chris. Even if a guy says they will "change" they never will. You can't MAKE someone change, and in my opinion, if the person you are with has to change in order for you to get along with them, you and that person are not meant to be together. I don't like people telling me what to do, and I don't appreciate being treated like a little kid. That's how Tevin made me feel, like I was a stupid little kid who needed to be watched and couldn't handle things myself. I will say that I am going to miss him. Because he is a good guy, when he's not being all pissed off. But I just can't be in a relationship with someone who has that much anger.
Now, the suckyness of it all. When I get back from Florida my mom says that I won't get my car back untill I go into rehab. I DONT NEED REHAB!!! I don't think about it anymore. I don't WANT to do it anymore. And I'm sorry but when someone sits there and OFFERS to buy crack for you, yes it's hard to say no....because I WAS addicted. I think when I did it again I was trying to prove to myself that If I do it again I won't feel like I need it. Like I wanted to see if I would have that same "feind" feeling. Well I didn't. I just felt like shit. I hated it. And I KNOW that im not going to do it again. And what pisses me off about this whole thing is...Why did Michele have to call my house and tell my mom. She is the one that Baught the freaking crack...she is the one who DROVE out to detroit. She wanted to buy 60 dollars worth and I had to tell her that was too much. Yet she wants to call my house and have her friend leave a message on MY HOUSE answering machine saying "If this is the Jessica that is GIVING my friend michele crack...i want you to leave her alone" I didn't give it to her!!!! She baught it!!!! And then for people to blame ME like IM the bad person here. Yes, I did it...I was addicted to it...and it was a bad part in my life. I told her I was doing it...and MICHELE was the one who said she wanted to try it. And in that point in time, I didn't care about ANYONE...besides Chris and Crack because I had a problem. So yes, at that point, I was a bad friend but i had a serious problem. But she asked to try it, so I let her. I didn't bring it around her....I didn't just carry it around...she asked if we could go get some. Then I get help for myself because I KNEW i had a problem...and after all that....she wants to ask me if I want to do it again??? Well then what kind of friend is SHE....if she KNEW her friend had a drug problem...and then offers to buy it for me. But nope...im still this horrible person. Yet it's okay for her to smoke weed all the time with all her other friend. I don't smoke weed. I don't like weed. So why didn't deidra call all thier parents??? I should have gotten the point that Michele was a shitty friend two years ago when I was getting raped and screaming for help but she was two busy in the next room getting her tits sucked on by my ex-boyfriend, the kid I liked, and someone else to even come help. Michele, if you ever read this...I would just like you to know YOU are the one who needs help. YOU need to learn that you have a mind of your own and you need to stop trying to be whoever you are hanging out with...You need to close your legs too. Just because a guy wants his dick sucked...doesn't mean you have to do it. And if you don't have enough balls to say no to a random teenage boys who want thier dick rubbed, well have fun being a nurse, because I can gauruntee you'll be the first to get fired.
Okay...I feel better now.
Peace Homies.
P.s. MARIA MY LOVE....thank you so much for inviting us to kareoke with you...it will definately be the new tuesday night tradition.