FUCK MY HEAD!
SATURDAY NIGHT'S PARTY SCEDULE: 1:59pm-5:45am
SUNDAY MORNING WORK SCEDULE: 6:30am-11:00am
Thank you Pabst Blue Ribbon for keeping me safe from soberness! I didn't wake up with a strange person in my bed today so that's cool. But I did wake up with a hard on, but it went away when I realized I was late for work. A half an hour late to be exact. I lied to my boss and told her that uh...I...forgot to sign in on time. So picture me, with the WORST HANGOVER EVER , unbrushed teeth, blood red eyes, sex hair, and an expression of agony trying to bag some bitches groceries. FUCK YOU BITCHES! STOP BUYING ALL OF MY TAMPONS! Man, I think my favorite part of working at safeway has to be bagging tampons. New subject: Ducks are cool. New subject: I am hungry for breakfast. I have had the equivilant of 2 meals in the course of 5 days. Thank you diet pills. I'm listening to Never Mind the Bollocks and Johnny Rotten keeps singing "no future" while I'm typing, does this have some sublimital prophetic meaning behind it? All I know is that I have a lot of love right now for some people. Especially Jenny Au for driving Sam D. and I to portland and letting us chug vodka on the car ride there. And then putting up with us when we were stumbling around talking to bums about drugs and smoking hella cigarettes. Oh yeah, my favorite part about Portland was when I was really drunk and we were walking by this strip club. These girls were hanging out in front and the conversation went as follows:
GIRLS: "Do you have any spare change?"
ATOM: "CATCH 22?" (for some reason I wholeheartedly thought they said Catch 22"
GIRLS: *exchange looks of confusion*
ATOM: "I love Catch 22!! See you guys later!!!"
Man I want to be a game show host. Or a toaster oven. Or a robot. Or a robot dinosaur. What do you guys think? Well anyways thanks Jen Au, Seanbaby, Landon, Jessica, Sam D., Jeff El Hefe, Middy, Tim G & his lady, Natasha P., Crista, Matt, Matt's mowhawk brother, Thomas, Blaed, Lundy, & Rian for whatever you guys gave me to drink or to smoke or whatever last night.
[Random Story]
Saturday Afternoon: 1:30
Adam, Sam, and I were sitting on the couch playing football on ps2 and we heard something behind us and we turned around and there was this huge cat standing in our living room. No, seriously, something was wrong because this cat was 3 times bigger than your average cat. Prolly weighed like 40 or 50 lbs and was like 2 feet long. I was so suprised (and hung over from friday night) that I started screaming at the cat. I said "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" at the top of my lungs and the cat took off and ran top speed into the kitchen and spilled our cat's water dishes and food and sailed into the wall. Than it ran into our garage and I chased it around for a while and pretended I was a hunter. I grabbed a mop and gave that cat a run for it's money. Eventually I opened the garage door and chased that beast out. The whole time I was chasing the cat it was showing it's teeth and it was so scary because that cat could have fucked me up. It was growling just like I lion I swear to god, I felt really bad ass showing it who's boss.
Sam just woke up and tucked his beer belly back into his shirt so I think that means he's ready for some breakfast.
Cheers,
ATOM
SUNDAY MORNING WORK SCEDULE: 6:30am-11:00am
Thank you Pabst Blue Ribbon for keeping me safe from soberness! I didn't wake up with a strange person in my bed today so that's cool. But I did wake up with a hard on, but it went away when I realized I was late for work. A half an hour late to be exact. I lied to my boss and told her that uh...I...forgot to sign in on time. So picture me, with the WORST HANGOVER EVER , unbrushed teeth, blood red eyes, sex hair, and an expression of agony trying to bag some bitches groceries. FUCK YOU BITCHES! STOP BUYING ALL OF MY TAMPONS! Man, I think my favorite part of working at safeway has to be bagging tampons. New subject: Ducks are cool. New subject: I am hungry for breakfast. I have had the equivilant of 2 meals in the course of 5 days. Thank you diet pills. I'm listening to Never Mind the Bollocks and Johnny Rotten keeps singing "no future" while I'm typing, does this have some sublimital prophetic meaning behind it? All I know is that I have a lot of love right now for some people. Especially Jenny Au for driving Sam D. and I to portland and letting us chug vodka on the car ride there. And then putting up with us when we were stumbling around talking to bums about drugs and smoking hella cigarettes. Oh yeah, my favorite part about Portland was when I was really drunk and we were walking by this strip club. These girls were hanging out in front and the conversation went as follows:
GIRLS: "Do you have any spare change?"
ATOM: "CATCH 22?" (for some reason I wholeheartedly thought they said Catch 22"
GIRLS: *exchange looks of confusion*
ATOM: "I love Catch 22!! See you guys later!!!"
Man I want to be a game show host. Or a toaster oven. Or a robot. Or a robot dinosaur. What do you guys think? Well anyways thanks Jen Au, Seanbaby, Landon, Jessica, Sam D., Jeff El Hefe, Middy, Tim G & his lady, Natasha P., Crista, Matt, Matt's mowhawk brother, Thomas, Blaed, Lundy, & Rian for whatever you guys gave me to drink or to smoke or whatever last night.
[Random Story]
Saturday Afternoon: 1:30
Adam, Sam, and I were sitting on the couch playing football on ps2 and we heard something behind us and we turned around and there was this huge cat standing in our living room. No, seriously, something was wrong because this cat was 3 times bigger than your average cat. Prolly weighed like 40 or 50 lbs and was like 2 feet long. I was so suprised (and hung over from friday night) that I started screaming at the cat. I said "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" at the top of my lungs and the cat took off and ran top speed into the kitchen and spilled our cat's water dishes and food and sailed into the wall. Than it ran into our garage and I chased it around for a while and pretended I was a hunter. I grabbed a mop and gave that cat a run for it's money. Eventually I opened the garage door and chased that beast out. The whole time I was chasing the cat it was showing it's teeth and it was so scary because that cat could have fucked me up. It was growling just like I lion I swear to god, I felt really bad ass showing it who's boss.
Sam just woke up and tucked his beer belly back into his shirt so I think that means he's ready for some breakfast.
Cheers,
ATOM