Just thought i would update

[short_kicks]

So my life's been so up and down lately. I've been feeling so lonely and depressed. I'm ok now but about a week ago i was feeling so down about myself. It's sooo hard living in a house where everyone thinks that you are a screw up and then they go and tell everyone else so when you see them around town you feel hella awkward. They are friendly and

Comments

[jokers_girl]

Carolyn, my dear... on the parents side, I know what you mean completely. I've had my mom say things like that to me and it really really sucks. But it happens. I hope your parents will come around... who knows, there's two of them and they are different people, but my mom did. It hurts so bad, because you can never truly forget what they said. But there are other people in life and while you may always love somebody, it doesn't mean you have to agree or even get along. Shit happens.

Don't feel down. Life gets difficult... we should really really talk in person. I have Friday off, and while I'll be sleeping a lot and working some, we should try to talk. Texting is a great way to remind me, so just send me one. There is so much that we need to catch up on.

And now to why I really wanted to write. I know you talked to Donnie about things already, but I want to put in my fill.

You are an incredible person. You have some of the best morals that I have ever seen. You've stuck by what you believed in, through guys and through life. Just because you don't agree with your parents, who are very narrowminded at times, doesn't mean that you have changed. Situations apply to every part of life and love can alter that. You and Donnie share something very special and there's nothing wrong with the way you feel. You're parents are scared to lose you, but for all the wrong reasons. I know Donnie would love you to be happy with them and get along because it would make you happy. I only wish your parents had the same view. You have done so much and they are not helping you at all by stressing you out, by putting you down with lies and with their own insecurities that probably tie back to their own personal pasts. You have so much to be proud of, and Donnie is included in that. Yes, things are different now than in high school as they are for all of us, and that's okay. It's different, it's harder, but you are so intelligent, resourceful, and driven that you will find what you want to do in time and excel at it.

I love you my adopted sister and my incredibly awesome friend and you know if I really thought any differently, I'd let you know.

Call me, I miss you tons.

[short_kicks]

Thanks alicia. That means a lot to me. I'll call you but on friday i work from 5-9:45. But i'm sure we have a lot to catch up on. I really do feel better now but when you have no one really to talk to it just builds up and finally it explodes. I have donnie to talk to which is great but we only have a limited amount of time to be with each other so sometimes i don't want to spoil the mood with my bullshit but i've realized if i don't say anything it will still spoil the mood and once i do talk it out things are a lot better. I'm really lucky to have a friend like you even if my parents think that you are one of the worst people to hang out with. (Ya they still think that somehow you magically stabbed me in the back with donnie but whatever they are hella stupid)But anyways thanks for being there it really does mean a lot to me. It lets me know that even though my friends are all over the place they still care whats going on in eachother's lives. Well, i love you! talk to you on friday.