Can't you live without the attention?
"So hello good friend, i wanna be next to you, for my head, for my heart, for whats true..so i'm burning the thoughts of the things that i once said because you tore down the walls that the world has put inside my head"
alright so here is my monthly/weekly/whateverly update..a new year is about to begin hoorahh i guess..my reflection of this past year: it had its good and bad times i guess it's been like one big roller coaster and typically stayed on the downhill portion but it had some highlights i suppose..i did learn a lot i guess you could say..the back injury sucked and i dnt think ive ever had to deal w/that kind of sadness before and the continuing pressure afterwards but if i didn't have it then i wouldn't have gotten to coach the level 4s and that was one of the most amazing experiences ever b/c seriously those girls reminded me what gymnastics should be about and it was when i stopped coaching them that i forgot again..i realized that i put so much pressure on myself to please other people, to make others happy and you'd think id learn not to but i keep doing it so i had a breakdown and ive finally realized that i accept others choices and i dnt judge them by things that don't concern me so when do i get to say this is what i believe, this is what i want..i think this year thats my resolution..to stop being a doormat and to finally say to people this is who i am and you don't have to agree with it or like it you just have to accept it and hell if you can't even do that then just don't talk to me..i think it's a good resolution b/c i care too much about making others happy and for once im going to take kristins advice and "stop being a cheerleader for others and start being a cheerleader for [myself]"..i guess i seem angry but im really not i just think that this year was a rough one and i learned a lot from it about myself and who i want to be...but enough about the bad, the good times were slim but they were there: NC w/Jounit and her fam plus all the inside jokes w/the cousins and friends who i love, going to wilmington twice w/the fam and jo, visiting colleges w/my mom especially providence, ri, coaching the level 4s although it was tiring i loveee them, getting a 5 on the calc exam hah yes i would say that, kings dominion w/sarah, beating dorsey in pushups and crunches lol, team bonding at the cheesecake factory, summer w/hadass, kat, julie, and samiya all working in the gym, break w/kat home, getting lost w/mary and nicole and then getting pulled over and getting 2 tickets lol attt the airport, vegas with the team esp. cirque de solei or however its spelled, and im sure there was more i just don't rememberr but yea soo there was positives about the year and i might even sleep through this new years b/c i want to start the new year freshh soo we'll see how that goes..anyway im going to go now happy new years everyone! although no one reads this but yea anyway..
FOUR THINGS YOU WANNA DO IN LIFE:
1. live in a house on the beach
2. make a difference
3. fall in love
4. witness a miracle (so a walk to remember i know)
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION TO:
1. florida
2. north carolina
3. arizona
4. nevada
(and soon CALIFORNIA YAY! haha)
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. yahoo mail
2. myspace
3. aim homepage (not by choice)
4. xanga
01. Your name plus "y": megany
02. Two feelings at the moment? lonely and bored
06. What was your highlight of the week? hmm cheesecake factory w/the team on wed. evening, kyle quoting a rap song, orr lunch today w/julie and ordering soo much food filling a table for 4 when there was 2 of us lol
07. What are you craving to have right now? nothing i am soo full from lunch today lol
10. What are your nicknames? megizzle, meggie, mkew, mighty morphine megan ranger (tony haha), cupcake (unfortunately), crayons, and most recently pepto bismal (only when i wear the pink sweater tony got me for christmas), oh and some just call me gangsterr b/c thats what i am lol
13. Are you thinking of someone right now? im not gonna lie..matt has crossed my mind a few times and i guess justin b/c im talking to him
14. Do you party? hardcore lol
15. Ever gotten drunk: nope
22. who do you miss right now? matt and jo-unit b/c i can't seem to find her lol
25. what do you like about night? hmm driving at night all alone listening to music is very comforting (only on like a straight highway though not in residential areas where you can not see and hit things), and the stars and moon, and laying in bed wrapped in a nice warm blanket
27. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? a lawyer from 3rd to 10th grade and i focused on that for so long that i dnt remember what i wanted to be before that
28. Last gift? hmm we just did our gym gift exchange idk which i opened last maybe the chick fil a calendar and necklace from china that was from juliana, although i also got 2 purses, a sweater, a shirt, and 2 cds all of which i loved :)
30. do you play an instrument? no unfortunately i lack any musical talent or ability
31. what song did you last hear? uhh the new keith urban song i forget what its called but the one thats like "i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and i thought that being strong meant never losing self control....tonight i wanna cryy" or something idk but it's WAY GOOD!
32. your good luck charm? ehh i don't really have one actually..i think i have the worst luck ever too so maybe i need one..or maybe we can only create our own luck by taking our situations as they come and making what we can of them whether we make them good or bad
33. person you hate most? its hard to decide..haha jk i dnt really hate anyone and the two i do truly detest well they dnt need to be mentioned but let it be known that they deserve my disliking lol
34. who makes you laugh the most? prrobably julie or marina
35. makes you smile? my friends/teammates/matt
36. who has a crush on you? well hopefully matt haha and idk of anyone else but they really wouldn't matter anyway would they? lol
DO YOU:
04. wish you were someone else? no..well maybe toby (my dog) b/c he really just gets to sit around all day and have his stomach rubbed and what not
05. cry in front of friends: not usually..i may have before though..i usually do okay of holding everything in though
06.do you get jealous easily? not really
07. what have you been doing these past few days? hanging out w/the team a lot, being bored, hanging out w/julie, sleepingg lol
08. what are you thinking about now? what i should do since everyone else is out for new years and i am home like a loser
09.what did you do last night? went to the gym holiday party and chick fil a and was a jerk gooo me
10.what did you last say to a friend last night? i'll talk to you later
11. when will you marry? i have no clue..who can say i'll even get married
12.when did you last drink alcoholic beverages? umm paris i think
13. what was your greatest bet ever made? umm idk im not really a bet maker..maybe tonight when i bet tyler he wouldn't lick his bowl of gross food up and he did haha it was funny
14. is all fair in love? no..but lifes not fair..soo it fits the trend i guess
15. most romantic words? well i guess most would say i love you..i say the whole song she thinks she needs me b/c its great and soo sweet and if anyone ever sang it to me they'd have me right away lol
16. would you give up your career for love? this sounds horrible..but no b/c you have to love yourself to love someone else and surely i would not love myself if i didn't know i was independent w/o the other person
17. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? hopefully in med. school or graduate school w/a job preferably
18. Where would you like to travel before you die? hawaii, costa rica maybe, italy and greece, and australia, and i would love to learn how to surf
23. Have you ever been in love? not yet
24. Do you think you're a good mate? idk mates a weird word though
25. Why do relationships fail? i guess there are a lot of reasons..probably not enough trust or not enough love..i guess the real reason is b/c the two people weren't meant to be together in the first place
28. Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? sometimes i wonder..i guess ill let you know when i fall in love
alright so here is my monthly/weekly/whateverly update..a new year is about to begin hoorahh i guess..my reflection of this past year: it had its good and bad times i guess it's been like one big roller coaster and typically stayed on the downhill portion but it had some highlights i suppose..i did learn a lot i guess you could say..the back injury sucked and i dnt think ive ever had to deal w/that kind of sadness before and the continuing pressure afterwards but if i didn't have it then i wouldn't have gotten to coach the level 4s and that was one of the most amazing experiences ever b/c seriously those girls reminded me what gymnastics should be about and it was when i stopped coaching them that i forgot again..i realized that i put so much pressure on myself to please other people, to make others happy and you'd think id learn not to but i keep doing it so i had a breakdown and ive finally realized that i accept others choices and i dnt judge them by things that don't concern me so when do i get to say this is what i believe, this is what i want..i think this year thats my resolution..to stop being a doormat and to finally say to people this is who i am and you don't have to agree with it or like it you just have to accept it and hell if you can't even do that then just don't talk to me..i think it's a good resolution b/c i care too much about making others happy and for once im going to take kristins advice and "stop being a cheerleader for others and start being a cheerleader for [myself]"..i guess i seem angry but im really not i just think that this year was a rough one and i learned a lot from it about myself and who i want to be...but enough about the bad, the good times were slim but they were there: NC w/Jounit and her fam plus all the inside jokes w/the cousins and friends who i love, going to wilmington twice w/the fam and jo, visiting colleges w/my mom especially providence, ri, coaching the level 4s although it was tiring i loveee them, getting a 5 on the calc exam hah yes i would say that, kings dominion w/sarah, beating dorsey in pushups and crunches lol, team bonding at the cheesecake factory, summer w/hadass, kat, julie, and samiya all working in the gym, break w/kat home, getting lost w/mary and nicole and then getting pulled over and getting 2 tickets lol attt the airport, vegas with the team esp. cirque de solei or however its spelled, and im sure there was more i just don't rememberr but yea soo there was positives about the year and i might even sleep through this new years b/c i want to start the new year freshh soo we'll see how that goes..anyway im going to go now happy new years everyone! although no one reads this but yea anyway..
FOUR THINGS YOU WANNA DO IN LIFE:
1. live in a house on the beach
2. make a difference
3. fall in love
4. witness a miracle (so a walk to remember i know)
FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION TO:
1. florida
2. north carolina
3. arizona
4. nevada
(and soon CALIFORNIA YAY! haha)
FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. yahoo mail
2. myspace
3. aim homepage (not by choice)
4. xanga
01. Your name plus "y": megany
02. Two feelings at the moment? lonely and bored
06. What was your highlight of the week? hmm cheesecake factory w/the team on wed. evening, kyle quoting a rap song, orr lunch today w/julie and ordering soo much food filling a table for 4 when there was 2 of us lol
07. What are you craving to have right now? nothing i am soo full from lunch today lol
10. What are your nicknames? megizzle, meggie, mkew, mighty morphine megan ranger (tony haha), cupcake (unfortunately), crayons, and most recently pepto bismal (only when i wear the pink sweater tony got me for christmas), oh and some just call me gangsterr b/c thats what i am lol
13. Are you thinking of someone right now? im not gonna lie..matt has crossed my mind a few times and i guess justin b/c im talking to him
14. Do you party? hardcore lol
15. Ever gotten drunk: nope
22. who do you miss right now? matt and jo-unit b/c i can't seem to find her lol
25. what do you like about night? hmm driving at night all alone listening to music is very comforting (only on like a straight highway though not in residential areas where you can not see and hit things), and the stars and moon, and laying in bed wrapped in a nice warm blanket
27. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? a lawyer from 3rd to 10th grade and i focused on that for so long that i dnt remember what i wanted to be before that
28. Last gift? hmm we just did our gym gift exchange idk which i opened last maybe the chick fil a calendar and necklace from china that was from juliana, although i also got 2 purses, a sweater, a shirt, and 2 cds all of which i loved :)
30. do you play an instrument? no unfortunately i lack any musical talent or ability
31. what song did you last hear? uhh the new keith urban song i forget what its called but the one thats like "i've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show and i thought that being strong meant never losing self control....tonight i wanna cryy" or something idk but it's WAY GOOD!
32. your good luck charm? ehh i don't really have one actually..i think i have the worst luck ever too so maybe i need one..or maybe we can only create our own luck by taking our situations as they come and making what we can of them whether we make them good or bad
33. person you hate most? its hard to decide..haha jk i dnt really hate anyone and the two i do truly detest well they dnt need to be mentioned but let it be known that they deserve my disliking lol
34. who makes you laugh the most? prrobably julie or marina
35. makes you smile? my friends/teammates/matt
36. who has a crush on you? well hopefully matt haha and idk of anyone else but they really wouldn't matter anyway would they? lol
DO YOU:
04. wish you were someone else? no..well maybe toby (my dog) b/c he really just gets to sit around all day and have his stomach rubbed and what not
05. cry in front of friends: not usually..i may have before though..i usually do okay of holding everything in though
06.do you get jealous easily? not really
07. what have you been doing these past few days? hanging out w/the team a lot, being bored, hanging out w/julie, sleepingg lol
08. what are you thinking about now? what i should do since everyone else is out for new years and i am home like a loser
09.what did you do last night? went to the gym holiday party and chick fil a and was a jerk gooo me
10.what did you last say to a friend last night? i'll talk to you later
11. when will you marry? i have no clue..who can say i'll even get married
12.when did you last drink alcoholic beverages? umm paris i think
13. what was your greatest bet ever made? umm idk im not really a bet maker..maybe tonight when i bet tyler he wouldn't lick his bowl of gross food up and he did haha it was funny
14. is all fair in love? no..but lifes not fair..soo it fits the trend i guess
15. most romantic words? well i guess most would say i love you..i say the whole song she thinks she needs me b/c its great and soo sweet and if anyone ever sang it to me they'd have me right away lol
16. would you give up your career for love? this sounds horrible..but no b/c you have to love yourself to love someone else and surely i would not love myself if i didn't know i was independent w/o the other person
17. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? hopefully in med. school or graduate school w/a job preferably
18. Where would you like to travel before you die? hawaii, costa rica maybe, italy and greece, and australia, and i would love to learn how to surf
23. Have you ever been in love? not yet
24. Do you think you're a good mate? idk mates a weird word though
25. Why do relationships fail? i guess there are a lot of reasons..probably not enough trust or not enough love..i guess the real reason is b/c the two people weren't meant to be together in the first place
28. Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? sometimes i wonder..i guess ill let you know when i fall in love