Great job! This was so angsty. In a way angstier than I had expected, but then again, I completely forgot about the weirdness of Ben's "depression" in this time period, as well as the fact that "poison for the campaign" was so obviously a phrase he used (whether he picked it up from the media or coined it himself), and his conspicuous absence from her campaign relaunch at the ice rink. So this makes total sense, and I like it a lot, a lot.
I love the beginning especially, with Leslie feeling so shaky still, because she's just coming down from having made what's maybe the most pivotal decision of her life (the decision *against* having to make a choice between her career and Ben). It's the most vulnerable we've ever seen her, I think, that moment when she says "let's just say screw it", and you do a fantastic job of continuing that vulnerability and showing how it played itself out that same night.
(Also--I kinda love the way the beginning of this connects to the ending of my piece, which it does very well, I think. Obviously not as far as the voice is concerned, but just the overall situation and the feelings involved. Yes. :) )
And I like that it does take a while for them to get in synch again, because that is indeed true, I think. Leslie is working, Ben is making claymations, and it's all a little weird--they've made this choice, together, but he's also lost his job for her, and now they sort of have to fiddle with the details and try to figure things out before they can completely become the team we see them as for the rest of the season. I can really see that in here, and it's just great.
Thoroughly enjoyable read, and the feelings involved really do ring true to me!
I love the beginning especially, with Leslie feeling so shaky still, because she's just coming down from having made what's maybe the most pivotal decision of her life (the decision *against* having to make a choice between her career and Ben). It's the most vulnerable we've ever seen her, I think, that moment when she says "let's just say screw it", and you do a fantastic job of continuing that vulnerability and showing how it played itself out that same night.
(Also--I kinda love the way the beginning of this connects to the ending of my piece, which it does very well, I think. Obviously not as far as the voice is concerned, but just the overall situation and the feelings involved. Yes. :) )
And I like that it does take a while for them to get in synch again, because that is indeed true, I think. Leslie is working, Ben is making claymations, and it's all a little weird--they've made this choice, together, but he's also lost his job for her, and now they sort of have to fiddle with the details and try to figure things out before they can completely become the team we see them as for the rest of the season. I can really see that in here, and it's just great.
Thoroughly enjoyable read, and the feelings involved really do ring true to me!
Reply
Leave a comment