I'm gonna say what I need to say, in my very last letter to you...
If you ever feel your life is lacking some of that "Dear God, I'm about to die" sort of excitement, try for a Taxi ride in Dubai during rush hour. Wearing Depends is highly recommended.
I realized last night how essential fitness is to my mental health these days. Before today, I hadn't been to the gym in four days, and I had been getting progressively more discontent. I've actually gotten to the point where it takes more discipline for me to take a rest day from the gym, or do just a light recovery effort, than it does to lace up the shoes and go floor it. That's odd to me, because this time last year you wouldn't have caught me anywhere near a gym. It's funny how things can change with the proper motivation.
I went today, and I feel a lot better. Which I shouldn't, because I was going on a lack of sleep and completely dehydrated. That, and I think I'm catching a cold. So I should have felt like crap, but instead I outperformed my expectations. I won't complain about that.
On a different note, one or two of you may remember a couple of kids named Brett and Kyle that I worked with when I was still a Sheriff's Explorer. Well, I stumbled across Brett's MySpace the other day, and it turns out that they both graduated the Academy together back in 2008. More than that, both of them got hired on at Carson. Had things gone differently back in 2005, I'd be right there with them. Of course, that isn't how it all worked out, and I suspect time will show that I'm better off for that.
Which doesn't change the fact that it hit me rather hard. To be honest, the first thing that came to mind was "Fuck Nevada Law Enforcement." Childish, I know, but I still have a lot of strong emotions about the way I ended up leaving the SO. The next thought that came to mind was "I'll go be a cop in Washington." It would make sense. Go someplace I love, start with a clean slate, not have to worry about running into Brett or the Mays brothers anywhere.
But that's running. And after 5 years, I'm done running.
I may very well end up in Washington. If I do though, it will be for the right reasons. I'll go because it's where I want to be, not because Carson is where I don't want to be.
I realized last night how essential fitness is to my mental health these days. Before today, I hadn't been to the gym in four days, and I had been getting progressively more discontent. I've actually gotten to the point where it takes more discipline for me to take a rest day from the gym, or do just a light recovery effort, than it does to lace up the shoes and go floor it. That's odd to me, because this time last year you wouldn't have caught me anywhere near a gym. It's funny how things can change with the proper motivation.
I went today, and I feel a lot better. Which I shouldn't, because I was going on a lack of sleep and completely dehydrated. That, and I think I'm catching a cold. So I should have felt like crap, but instead I outperformed my expectations. I won't complain about that.
On a different note, one or two of you may remember a couple of kids named Brett and Kyle that I worked with when I was still a Sheriff's Explorer. Well, I stumbled across Brett's MySpace the other day, and it turns out that they both graduated the Academy together back in 2008. More than that, both of them got hired on at Carson. Had things gone differently back in 2005, I'd be right there with them. Of course, that isn't how it all worked out, and I suspect time will show that I'm better off for that.
Which doesn't change the fact that it hit me rather hard. To be honest, the first thing that came to mind was "Fuck Nevada Law Enforcement." Childish, I know, but I still have a lot of strong emotions about the way I ended up leaving the SO. The next thought that came to mind was "I'll go be a cop in Washington." It would make sense. Go someplace I love, start with a clean slate, not have to worry about running into Brett or the Mays brothers anywhere.
But that's running. And after 5 years, I'm done running.
I may very well end up in Washington. If I do though, it will be for the right reasons. I'll go because it's where I want to be, not because Carson is where I don't want to be.