Hmmm...
The one thing I hate most about mental illness is the lack of control over your own impulses.
This sucks.
I've got to get up in five hours, but instead of going to sleep, I'm sitting here in front of my computer. Getting drunk. Smoking a lot. Rationally, I know I've got to sleep. But I can't bring myself to care.
I've got to go to work tomorrow but all I can think of is: I don't even care. Why don't you have another drink? So yeah, this sucks. It's been like that for the last week, but I can't seem to get myself to listen to my rational side. I don't know why.
The good thing is: I'm able to function even if I don't get enough sleep.
During my worst episode, I did not sleep at all for four/five days in a row. That's different now, I have no major problems with insomnia anymore. In fact, I feel great, even if I do not sleep at all. I feel as if I've got lots of energy. I feel like I can do anything I want to, if I try. And even if I don't try. It's kind of hard to explain.
That isn't exactly healthy either, but it's better than the alternative. But yeah, I still need to find the right balance. Huh. But I'm confident that I'll manage this, too.
*nods*
This sucks.
I've got to get up in five hours, but instead of going to sleep, I'm sitting here in front of my computer. Getting drunk. Smoking a lot. Rationally, I know I've got to sleep. But I can't bring myself to care.
I've got to go to work tomorrow but all I can think of is: I don't even care. Why don't you have another drink? So yeah, this sucks. It's been like that for the last week, but I can't seem to get myself to listen to my rational side. I don't know why.
The good thing is: I'm able to function even if I don't get enough sleep.
During my worst episode, I did not sleep at all for four/five days in a row. That's different now, I have no major problems with insomnia anymore. In fact, I feel great, even if I do not sleep at all. I feel as if I've got lots of energy. I feel like I can do anything I want to, if I try. And even if I don't try. It's kind of hard to explain.
That isn't exactly healthy either, but it's better than the alternative. But yeah, I still need to find the right balance. Huh. But I'm confident that I'll manage this, too.
*nods*