...Can I keep you?
PLEASE READ AND COMMENT!
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Lately I have been feeling so empty and dark inside!
It feels like my life should have already happened and ended!
I am yearing for something, but in this state of world, I won't find it, whatever it is!
I feel like I should be seeing my life in slow motion.
When I sit down and try to see myself and my emotions I see the same thing over and over again.
I am in an olde fashioned, vine covered, semi run down mansion,
I am wearing a white dress, my hair is long and black,
and I have trail on old blood tears fadding off my cheeks.
I see shadows of chidren and other people dressed the same, in white,
I am chasing them through this house trying to talk to them, and find out who I am, and what I am.
The scenery is grey, everythign is in black and white except for occassional reds.
though, I am running though the house in slow motion,
There is a window and if you look out it, there is one hill, with one tree at the top.
The cloud are moving so fast over the tree and hill. Grey clouds. Sad clouds.
IF you were to put your face outside the window the wind would surely blow you back in, because I am not allowed to leave.
Then I realize as I am running and chasing these people through this beautiful house of dispair,
that they are shodows of my past, althought I can not remember there names or places we met.
Then I see, that I am truely alone and I am chasing a past I can't remember, and a future that is not there.
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Lately I feel inside me that there is something extreamly dark, and evil, but beautiful at the same time trapped inside, and whe I get sad, the sick feeling I get in my heart and stomach is the creature trying to eat its way out of me, at my weakest moments. If seems like I Am seeing my life in black and white and although I do see its beauty, I see in for a morbid point of view.
I think my vision is pretty self explainitory:
Me in a wite dress and long black hair, ad pale skin is how I have always wanted to look, not gothic, just a dark beauty. The house is my comfort zone. When I lived in holly before my parents divorsed I alwasys wentto the grave yard, and at the top of it, there was a mosuleum that I would climb on and sit on, and stare at the lake and think for hours. The house is my sort of morbid dream house and inner securities. I am beautiful, you just have to look at it (me) from another point of view. I am a bit run down, but I haven't fallen yet. The grey setting is beaucase I Am always depressed, but I am able to see sadness and darkness as beautiful thing. I think the window and hill and not being able to leave and such is because I don't want to leave this state of confusiona nd depression and always feeling torn, but then I want to because its a stressing and its brings ones spirit down!
The reason I have no past is becuase my childhood never exsisted and if it did, it died the moment my dad left. and I have no furture because I am still dwelling on the past and I don't thin I will make it to my future. I am almost certain I will die by suicide or in an accident!
Its all sad and dark, but its tragicly beautiful too! ^_^
Its like my life is a grey rainy day. I'm only happy when it rains, Thoguht I am always on the verge of tears.
`````````````````````````
Lately I have been feeling so empty and dark inside!
It feels like my life should have already happened and ended!
I am yearing for something, but in this state of world, I won't find it, whatever it is!
I feel like I should be seeing my life in slow motion.
When I sit down and try to see myself and my emotions I see the same thing over and over again.
I am in an olde fashioned, vine covered, semi run down mansion,
I am wearing a white dress, my hair is long and black,
and I have trail on old blood tears fadding off my cheeks.
I see shadows of chidren and other people dressed the same, in white,
I am chasing them through this house trying to talk to them, and find out who I am, and what I am.
The scenery is grey, everythign is in black and white except for occassional reds.
though, I am running though the house in slow motion,
There is a window and if you look out it, there is one hill, with one tree at the top.
The cloud are moving so fast over the tree and hill. Grey clouds. Sad clouds.
IF you were to put your face outside the window the wind would surely blow you back in, because I am not allowed to leave.
Then I realize as I am running and chasing these people through this beautiful house of dispair,
that they are shodows of my past, althought I can not remember there names or places we met.
Then I see, that I am truely alone and I am chasing a past I can't remember, and a future that is not there.
`````````````````````````````````
Lately I feel inside me that there is something extreamly dark, and evil, but beautiful at the same time trapped inside, and whe I get sad, the sick feeling I get in my heart and stomach is the creature trying to eat its way out of me, at my weakest moments. If seems like I Am seeing my life in black and white and although I do see its beauty, I see in for a morbid point of view.
I think my vision is pretty self explainitory:
Me in a wite dress and long black hair, ad pale skin is how I have always wanted to look, not gothic, just a dark beauty. The house is my comfort zone. When I lived in holly before my parents divorsed I alwasys wentto the grave yard, and at the top of it, there was a mosuleum that I would climb on and sit on, and stare at the lake and think for hours. The house is my sort of morbid dream house and inner securities. I am beautiful, you just have to look at it (me) from another point of view. I am a bit run down, but I haven't fallen yet. The grey setting is beaucase I Am always depressed, but I am able to see sadness and darkness as beautiful thing. I think the window and hill and not being able to leave and such is because I don't want to leave this state of confusiona nd depression and always feeling torn, but then I want to because its a stressing and its brings ones spirit down!
The reason I have no past is becuase my childhood never exsisted and if it did, it died the moment my dad left. and I have no furture because I am still dwelling on the past and I don't thin I will make it to my future. I am almost certain I will die by suicide or in an accident!
Its all sad and dark, but its tragicly beautiful too! ^_^
Its like my life is a grey rainy day. I'm only happy when it rains, Thoguht I am always on the verge of tears.