Fic: Behind Closed Doors; Being Human; Mitchell/Annie; 1/1
Hello! So I'm not dead, just writing about characters that are.
Title: Behind Closed Doors
Author: ( Read more... )
Title: Behind Closed Doors
Author: ( Read more... )
First of all, I love the overall message of this little fic. Mitchell is in a dark place, and has been for a while; Annie helps to show him the silver lining. :) I especially loved the bit where Annie told him about her own doors, it's very creative. Your banter between them feels very organic and lovely too.
Second, you have some absolutely fantastic lines in here. I especially loved:
When reality settles in, he’s actually a little disappointed in his subconscious. As nightmares go, the doors were getting a bit predictable. Josie was cruel though. His mind is vicious like that.
“I think if I could sleep I’d only ever have nightmares.”
Annie’s skin is cool but everywhere she’s touching him feels warmer than he has in years.
And many more but if I quote them all this review will be as long as the fic lol.
That being said, in the spirit of constructive criticism I'd like to say I think this fic is in need of some more commas. It's a very small thing, your writing and voice are strong enough that it's hardly even noticeable, but there were a couple of times that I got a little distracted by it. I am, however, very easily distracted by things like that, and I am totally in love with your fic right now. :) Thank you for sharing it!
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Re: the commas. Thanks for that, really. I have this thing where I use commas like there's no tomorrow. I throw them in all over the place then I have to go through and take a load out Sometimes I think I overdo in the other direction and remove slightly too many so it's something to keep an eye on.
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I have the exact same problem with commas. Either I have too many or I hold back too much and there are too few. It's the way things sound in my head though. x)
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