i'm so far away from everyone...
so yesterday i moved, and now i live in memphis. i've just been unpacking all day. and me and my aunt went to target cuz i had to get some things for my room like hangers and stuff. and i had to get some new mascara and eyeliner cuz i don't want my eye to get icky again.
friday night was my part - there was MAJOR drama! and it was my last fucking day to be in alabama and it was just really all retarded.
it was hard and weird to say goodbye to ally and alli saturday morning. and it was hard to say goodbye to candice. and to say goodbye to like everyone! i'm gonna miss it, even tho i hated it there so much. it didn't really hit me that i wouldn't see everyone like all the time, until they actually had to leave. like, when brent left, i was like dude, that was goodbye. i wont get to see him like every single day any more. and when jimmy was getting into the car with alli, i was like omg, i won't get to actually see him for a WHILE! it was so sad, and i was trying not to cry too much. it was almost a year ago when i was doing the exact same thing - moving. except, things were a little different; i had my daddy with me. and i didn't have to live with different people all the time and i always knew that i was gonna for sure be taken care of. its nice to have that feeling once again. i haven't felt that in a long time. its nice to know i'm gonna have food, and everything i need. but still, i don't exactly feel totally completely loved...i don't know if its just me or what. maybe i've just learned to become so numb that i cant feel that much any more. i never really felt exactly loved by my daddy. like i've would get stuff and i would get alotta things that i wanted. but i never really felt loved by him....
anyways, i need to go to bed so i'll stop thinking about all this crap....and i need a pop
friday night was my part - there was MAJOR drama! and it was my last fucking day to be in alabama and it was just really all retarded.
it was hard and weird to say goodbye to ally and alli saturday morning. and it was hard to say goodbye to candice. and to say goodbye to like everyone! i'm gonna miss it, even tho i hated it there so much. it didn't really hit me that i wouldn't see everyone like all the time, until they actually had to leave. like, when brent left, i was like dude, that was goodbye. i wont get to see him like every single day any more. and when jimmy was getting into the car with alli, i was like omg, i won't get to actually see him for a WHILE! it was so sad, and i was trying not to cry too much. it was almost a year ago when i was doing the exact same thing - moving. except, things were a little different; i had my daddy with me. and i didn't have to live with different people all the time and i always knew that i was gonna for sure be taken care of. its nice to have that feeling once again. i haven't felt that in a long time. its nice to know i'm gonna have food, and everything i need. but still, i don't exactly feel totally completely loved...i don't know if its just me or what. maybe i've just learned to become so numb that i cant feel that much any more. i never really felt exactly loved by my daddy. like i've would get stuff and i would get alotta things that i wanted. but i never really felt loved by him....
anyways, i need to go to bed so i'll stop thinking about all this crap....and i need a pop