I've played all my cards
I am getting tired of this stuff.
Knowing that I am being ignored sucks. I mean, I really didn't think I would be sitting at home all the time. Yes, I could ask people what they are up to.. but really, why can't they ask me for a change? What do I have to be the only on giving all the effort?
I am fine with change. I know I have changed, I know all my friends have changed. That is what happens when we go to college and we grow up, but all our promises have turned into lies. The kind of change that I am not okay with is the change in which I am forgotten. I did nothing to deserve this. I know they all go out and do things, and I know I am not invited. It is pretty obvious that it is on purpose too, because if it wasn't, it would not have been going on for about a month.
Next week was supposed to be nice. a NICE restaurant, dressing up, having fun... yeah, it would have been kind of expensive, but no, everybody is broke. You don't think I know that? I'm not retarded, I don't have a job anymore, I don't have any money, but I was willing to go out to a nice restaurant and do something nice with my friends. Not go to some chinese buffet. Who wants to dress up and then go to a chinese buffet? Fine, I will go, just because it was my idea to have this dinner and because I want to see my friends. But really, it is one night. One dinner. We never have to go something like this again. I do not care.
If you have a problem with me tell me, I do not have a problem with someone for no reason. Right now I have a problem with almost all of my friends from this town. If you don't want to hang out with me, just explain to me why, give me a reason to find new friends. I am not going to confront you because it is no use. CONFRONT ME.
I am tired. I can't take this much longer. Anger and fear and sadness are always there, I'm always holding them back. I ignore them because I want to be happy. But it is getting harder to be happy. I wish my real friends were here with me...
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting - all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending - someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behing some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting - all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending - someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are...