I've been thinking...
about death a lot lately. I'm not sure why, wait yeah I am. I'm just not sure why I can't stop. I've been obsessing over it. It's too crazy for me to get my head around. Is it good, bad, or just what it is? When we die we're gone, we cease to exist. Well we ceased to exist before we were born but you don't see anyone crying about that time we didn't have. People say "they're in a better place" well that's bullshit. They're not there anymore they are not anywhere. That saying is selfish and who actually fucking means it when they say it? When people are sad about the death of someone, they're not sad about that person no longer existing, they are sad because they are going to miss what that person brought to them. It's selfish. When we're dead we are gone, there is no "better place" there is nothing at all. So why is it so bad if it's just like before we were born?
Just recently someone my mom was close to died of cancer.When my mom told me about it, I really didn't know what to say.
Just recently my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. All I could think is that if she dies, I'm going to feel awful for my mom. NOT my grandma. I couldn't figure out why I felt that way, until now. I don't think death is a bad thing for the person, I think it's a bad thing for the people that person left.
selfish
selfish
selfish
All I can think about is how my mom is going to feel without a mom and a friend, not how my grandma, or my moms friend are no longer going to live or experience anything at all.
selfish
selfish
selfish
death is so selfish