(no subject)
So, here I am. Twenty minutes before I have to leave for work. I finally get the time and piece of mind to sit down and shit all over your friends page like I used to before my life became a series of unfortunate events, and I can't even think of a proper way to piss any of you off. I've gotten a bit more time to myself to try and organize things in my life the best I can (time to myself meaning 40 hours instead of 50+) and I came to the stunning realization that I do too much. My patented "Fat Ass Time" has practically disappeared with the acquisition of a second job and the destruction of my car by the hands of fucking fuck you Joseph fate. Between the walking to and from pretty much anything I need to get done, working 15-16 hour shifts between two jobs and staring directly into a loop of working to survive, I lack most of the energy I require to do little things like exercise, clean (a lot, as opposed to as necessary), think properly, focus. I can't even read a book while taking a shit or I run the risk of forgetting to wipe. Half of my free time is either spent unproductively (read: Everquest) or doing one of the many things I used to be good at when I had the time and focus to do so. This could be anything ranging from general coding/mod making to music, which used to be like breathing to me. I just can't do it anymore, and it's fucking disappointing to say the least.
And for those wondering about my imaginary car, here's the latest. Whatever taint I put on vehicles that I drive apparently has carried over to the car I sold my parents in their time of need, because it's broken. Not quite as hard as the one I have, but enough to where they need to get their shit done first since they don't have the luxury of being able to walk to work every day like I do. Most of the money I've thrown down for mine will most likely go to theirs and put me at the back of the bus where I apparently belong. Had my shit been fixed already and the money spent I'm positive they would be in a terrible position (considering from Canton one goes to Austell and the other just past where I live somewhere on 285N). I can't complain, but I'm also not surprised. I had my bit of freedom at least.
Long story short, I'm tired. Not like sleepy tired or disgruntled, I'm just tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to work all the fucking time. I don't want to keep worrying about paying bills and how we're going to do the grocery shopping for the next few weeks. I don't want to be continually disappointed as everything short of an alien invasion flushes any plans I make down the toilet. As much as I enjoy the job I have at Publix, I don't even want to go into work. I just don't want to do it all anymore. Like most thing however, it has to be done and no one's gonna do it for me. If you've all been wondering how I'm doing and waiting for me to come along and brighten up your internet with the glory of my presence, keep waiting. I'm not doing bad because I'm not doing good. Eventually when I win the lottery or marry someone who's rich parents will pay for my very existence, thing will change. Until then it's back to work.
Fuck. I'm probably gonna be late now. It's joggin time.
And for those wondering about my imaginary car, here's the latest. Whatever taint I put on vehicles that I drive apparently has carried over to the car I sold my parents in their time of need, because it's broken. Not quite as hard as the one I have, but enough to where they need to get their shit done first since they don't have the luxury of being able to walk to work every day like I do. Most of the money I've thrown down for mine will most likely go to theirs and put me at the back of the bus where I apparently belong. Had my shit been fixed already and the money spent I'm positive they would be in a terrible position (considering from Canton one goes to Austell and the other just past where I live somewhere on 285N). I can't complain, but I'm also not surprised. I had my bit of freedom at least.
Long story short, I'm tired. Not like sleepy tired or disgruntled, I'm just tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to work all the fucking time. I don't want to keep worrying about paying bills and how we're going to do the grocery shopping for the next few weeks. I don't want to be continually disappointed as everything short of an alien invasion flushes any plans I make down the toilet. As much as I enjoy the job I have at Publix, I don't even want to go into work. I just don't want to do it all anymore. Like most thing however, it has to be done and no one's gonna do it for me. If you've all been wondering how I'm doing and waiting for me to come along and brighten up your internet with the glory of my presence, keep waiting. I'm not doing bad because I'm not doing good. Eventually when I win the lottery or marry someone who's rich parents will pay for my very existence, thing will change. Until then it's back to work.
Fuck. I'm probably gonna be late now. It's joggin time.