(no subject)
I still exist over here in this little corner of poverty and pizza. My job, while being very appreciative, is the most chaotic and unstable place I could have ever asked to work at. Some days I'm working rush hour shift along side people who can handle the things I'm not doing. Some days I'm working a 15 hour shift with a grand total of two drivers while handling the entire inside of the store by myself. I don't even know my schedule on a weekly basis. Hell, I'm lucky to know when I work 3 days from now. Chaos and instability in my previous living space drove me slowly insane, as these were things that piled up over time and could be otherwise rectified in a single cleaning session. This job is outright destroying any sort of routine or mental scheduling I set for myself. I find it impossible to plan things for myself and just as hard to do things elsewhere with other people as I'm "on call" on my days off and they fucking mean it. I'm sick of being the best at what I do in things that I do not enjoy doing. I do not intend to be flipping pizzas and bouncing from retail/food store looking for that extra 50 cents an hour. All these menial customer service "do shit for people who make shit" jobs can go to hell. I am fucking landing a long term job (or otherwise alternate career) with *any* fire department that will have me the first chance I get. I am making steady money with 1/4 the stress and going back to school the instant that option becomes available to me. Fuck Domino's. Fuck Taco Bell. Fuck Home Depot. I'm better than this shit and I intend to prove it. I don't see how people can settle being happy with this bullshit.
Fuck the car. Whenever I get close something always happens well beyond my control that shoves it out of reach and out of possibility. For all I know I was meant to permanently be reliant on other people's pity and pubic transportation to do anything remotely independent with my life. I will find loopholes around issues that lack of transportation severely hinder me from doing. Fuck sitting around waiting to be able to afford something that will never work, I've got shit to do and I'm not getting any younger. If I get one that works, I get one that works. If not I am just as awesome on a damned bus as I would be in a cheap 4-cylinder gas efficient Honda. I am sick of disappointment and being used to it. Life's a bitch, and from now on I'M on top.
I have absolutely nothing significant or revealing to say about the previous two posts until I know for certain what is and is not going on. All I will say is that my (totally unexpected) interest in this girl alone may be opening a can of whoop ass that will be equal parts fun to watch and terrificly bad for business. If things go like I want them to I expect much more enjoyable disappointment from a lot of you in the future.
Hey, look. It's 6 A.M. and I might go into work at 3 on the day I was supposed to open at 10 depending on if they actually need me since I'm over hours and I'm finishing off my second bottle of not enough alcohol. Hurray for job stability. I'm so fucking tired of simply existing and floating from one house to another trying to keep what little I have now. If I could sell everything I own including the clothing on my back for a chance to avoid the bullshit cycle I've been heading into I would. This is the best things have ever looked for me and as far as I'm concerned the last possible chance I'll have to do things my way, on my own terms. If I have to suck shit through a pizza straw for a few months to put myself in a position to never have to see that place again, so be it. The alternative as I see it is far worse.
Joseph is better than you, and by this year's end he will have the means to prove it.
Fuck the car. Whenever I get close something always happens well beyond my control that shoves it out of reach and out of possibility. For all I know I was meant to permanently be reliant on other people's pity and pubic transportation to do anything remotely independent with my life. I will find loopholes around issues that lack of transportation severely hinder me from doing. Fuck sitting around waiting to be able to afford something that will never work, I've got shit to do and I'm not getting any younger. If I get one that works, I get one that works. If not I am just as awesome on a damned bus as I would be in a cheap 4-cylinder gas efficient Honda. I am sick of disappointment and being used to it. Life's a bitch, and from now on I'M on top.
I have absolutely nothing significant or revealing to say about the previous two posts until I know for certain what is and is not going on. All I will say is that my (totally unexpected) interest in this girl alone may be opening a can of whoop ass that will be equal parts fun to watch and terrificly bad for business. If things go like I want them to I expect much more enjoyable disappointment from a lot of you in the future.
Hey, look. It's 6 A.M. and I might go into work at 3 on the day I was supposed to open at 10 depending on if they actually need me since I'm over hours and I'm finishing off my second bottle of not enough alcohol. Hurray for job stability. I'm so fucking tired of simply existing and floating from one house to another trying to keep what little I have now. If I could sell everything I own including the clothing on my back for a chance to avoid the bullshit cycle I've been heading into I would. This is the best things have ever looked for me and as far as I'm concerned the last possible chance I'll have to do things my way, on my own terms. If I have to suck shit through a pizza straw for a few months to put myself in a position to never have to see that place again, so be it. The alternative as I see it is far worse.
Joseph is better than you, and by this year's end he will have the means to prove it.