Pizza, the po-po and two points for every song reference you get
So, my first day at work and everyone already loves me. I'm pretty sure I got in about two days worth of training in 6 hours and helped save their asses in the middle of a totally unexpected Tuesday evening rush. The story as it was laid out to me is I'm next in line to be her new favorite assistant and to do the responsible things that no one else is apparently capable of doing on a consistent basis (hiring ASM's from outside instead of promoting within the store proves that). Making pizzas for 6 hours isn't quite as bad as I thought since it does involve food preparation, and we all know I loves me some kitchen work. My co workers however are so far disappointingly normal except for possibly the tattooed HR guy that I ran into on the way back from work. So now I get to blow paychecks on rent and save the bit I don't throw in the bank towards the car/PSP/do shit fund. So far my days are looking like 3-9 as I don't quite have a schedule yet, and I'm going to be an opener. However this is pizza we're talking about so they open at like 11 so the earliest I'd have to be there would be 10. That's perfectly fucking fine with me. I will also never have Sunday or Monday off as I will be opening those days eventually, but Monday evening is ok as I'm seeing Tuesday as one of my only days off. Being the reliable one (read as "there when we want you because you live right goddamned there") my schedule may be subject to change. I will update any consistency as I get it.
So, after playing pizza for 6 hours I run home to change and force my sister off WoW since she wants to go to Tuesday nights. For those who don't know, my sister goes out with her friends every Tuesday night and drags me along because everyone loves me more than her and it's a nice diversion from ruining her dinner/evening. All the awesome waiters/waitresses are there in the evening too. So upon hours of nerd speak and a colorful trip home figuring out my sister's radio, we had our perfect day interrupted by the nigger patrol Dunwoody Police. Anger and Rage Against the Machine follows.
So we were turning off the highway Kickin Out the Jams and this red car that doesn't know how to Roll Right comes flying to the intersection like he's not gonna stop, then abruptly hits his brakes when he sees us since we have the right of way. He gets on the left lane and tears ass past us like a Bull on Parade. On the way down the road there's a cop pulling out of a BP on the right hand side that decides to get right fucking behind us. Well that Renegade noticed right away and slowed down by about 20 mph and immediately pulled into a Waffle House at the next light. In My Eyes that man should have gotten a ticket for speeding and reckless driving but the black kids in the broken looking car at 2 AM must have looked much more lucrative as this motherfucker decides to follow us Down on the Street. On the way to our house there's a cop car half pulled out in the road like he's waiting on someone so I assume the Microphone Fiend fired up his Guerrilla Radio and called ahead for back up. Pretty damn quick if you ask me. So they follow us all the way to our neighborhood before pulling us over and giving the whole "I am Officer Hoodandy, license please" line. We have a tag light out. Oh no. So after this earth shattering revelation this Snakecharmer suddenly starts asking my sister about someone squealing tires as we got there. We didn't squeal no tires. Then he says he heard someone honk a horn. We didn't honk shit and did not hear a horn go off with our windows down. So my sister is sitting there trying to Testify while this cop is practically interrogating her about squealed tires and an invisible horn, meanwhile I'm Calm like a Bomb wishing I was the one driving so I could show this asshole I don't Settle for Nothing and shove his shit so legally he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. At this point my sister is confused with all the unnecessary questioning going on and our outstanding representation of law and order takes the opportunity to yell at my sister (quite literally) to be quiet because she's trying to talk over him and state that she will let him finish saying what he has to say because she is giving inconsistent answers to inconsistent questions. Both times my sister quietly asked that he please do not yell at her only caused him to raise his voice further. After his little display of authority he took a 10 minute break to chat with his buddy in the car behind us. At this point my sister is practically in tears and I'm imagining a Revolver in my hand and the asshole behind us with a Bullet in the Head. He walks back, flicks her license in her direction and simply says "You need to get your tag lights fixed", then goes the fuck away.
At this point the night was ruined enough and we just wanted the Freedom to get home. However, instead of turning around and going back those assholes Clear the Lane and keep going in the neighborhood. We turn onto the street where our building is and they circle around and turn in where we are. As we're getting out the car they cruse right on by and stop in the street behind our car. When we got home my sister realized she left her cell in the car and went to get it. I come to find out from her later that they were shining their little fucking glowsticks in our car trying to see what was in it. I'm Housin right now in front of the computer (obviously) thinking about How I Could Just Kill a Man, my sister's downstairs probably blowing off steam playing WoW or making an angry update with a Fistful of Steel.
It's enough that I still see people visibly double take when I open my mouth and speak better english than they do. I've come to terms with "not sounding black" over telephones or drive thru speakers and the fact that this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the tone of my voice. I make jokes about shit like this all the time with friends because it lessens the impact when it does actually happen while helping me put it into perspective. I would like to think it'd be a constant reminder for some of my more fair skinned friends (ok let's face it, most of you are white as snow) that these sort of things happen every day and give them a heads up on the things to look for. It's when this involves people with a responsibility to uphold others rights that I get pissed off. When you ignore a speeding car that instantly slows down and pulls off the road the moment you appear to get the broke looking people. When you use your authority to pull someone over and question them about horn and screeching tires while hiding behind an excuse that less than a $30 fine, then proceed to yell at them when they're already visibly upset and panicking with each question you ask that's totally unrelated to the supposed reason you pulled them over. When, without any sort of probable cause, you follow that person to their home and proceed to look inside their car like you're going to find a dime bag or gun lying on the back seat because they have a fucking tag light out. That's the kind of shit that I get angry about. A complete waste of time and effort, and embarassing to both parties (though only one is likely to get it). Don't even dare sit and tell me this shit was situational, or that there's enough "misrepresentation" where I live to justify it. Sometimes I get really sick and fucking tired of being the black kid who is only black when the situation deems it necessary. There are days I wish I could walk outside and just be a well dressed guy instead of a well dressed black guy. But you know, that shit doesn't always happen. The 60's really weren't that long ago. Hell, my parents were alive (and militant as shit I come to find out in my high school years) when we were getting free street showers and petting zoos for asking nicely to go to school. But that's taking things a bit far, and I don't wanna get all historical tonight. Too much Take the Power Back may bring about the Township Rebellion in me and I'm too tired for that shit.
Man. Fuck tha Police.
So, after playing pizza for 6 hours I run home to change and force my sister off WoW since she wants to go to Tuesday nights. For those who don't know, my sister goes out with her friends every Tuesday night and drags me along because everyone loves me more than her and it's a nice diversion from ruining her dinner/evening. All the awesome waiters/waitresses are there in the evening too. So upon hours of nerd speak and a colorful trip home figuring out my sister's radio, we had our perfect day interrupted by the nigger patrol Dunwoody Police. Anger and Rage Against the Machine follows.
So we were turning off the highway Kickin Out the Jams and this red car that doesn't know how to Roll Right comes flying to the intersection like he's not gonna stop, then abruptly hits his brakes when he sees us since we have the right of way. He gets on the left lane and tears ass past us like a Bull on Parade. On the way down the road there's a cop pulling out of a BP on the right hand side that decides to get right fucking behind us. Well that Renegade noticed right away and slowed down by about 20 mph and immediately pulled into a Waffle House at the next light. In My Eyes that man should have gotten a ticket for speeding and reckless driving but the black kids in the broken looking car at 2 AM must have looked much more lucrative as this motherfucker decides to follow us Down on the Street. On the way to our house there's a cop car half pulled out in the road like he's waiting on someone so I assume the Microphone Fiend fired up his Guerrilla Radio and called ahead for back up. Pretty damn quick if you ask me. So they follow us all the way to our neighborhood before pulling us over and giving the whole "I am Officer Hoodandy, license please" line. We have a tag light out. Oh no. So after this earth shattering revelation this Snakecharmer suddenly starts asking my sister about someone squealing tires as we got there. We didn't squeal no tires. Then he says he heard someone honk a horn. We didn't honk shit and did not hear a horn go off with our windows down. So my sister is sitting there trying to Testify while this cop is practically interrogating her about squealed tires and an invisible horn, meanwhile I'm Calm like a Bomb wishing I was the one driving so I could show this asshole I don't Settle for Nothing and shove his shit so legally he wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. At this point my sister is confused with all the unnecessary questioning going on and our outstanding representation of law and order takes the opportunity to yell at my sister (quite literally) to be quiet because she's trying to talk over him and state that she will let him finish saying what he has to say because she is giving inconsistent answers to inconsistent questions. Both times my sister quietly asked that he please do not yell at her only caused him to raise his voice further. After his little display of authority he took a 10 minute break to chat with his buddy in the car behind us. At this point my sister is practically in tears and I'm imagining a Revolver in my hand and the asshole behind us with a Bullet in the Head. He walks back, flicks her license in her direction and simply says "You need to get your tag lights fixed", then goes the fuck away.
At this point the night was ruined enough and we just wanted the Freedom to get home. However, instead of turning around and going back those assholes Clear the Lane and keep going in the neighborhood. We turn onto the street where our building is and they circle around and turn in where we are. As we're getting out the car they cruse right on by and stop in the street behind our car. When we got home my sister realized she left her cell in the car and went to get it. I come to find out from her later that they were shining their little fucking glowsticks in our car trying to see what was in it. I'm Housin right now in front of the computer (obviously) thinking about How I Could Just Kill a Man, my sister's downstairs probably blowing off steam playing WoW or making an angry update with a Fistful of Steel.
It's enough that I still see people visibly double take when I open my mouth and speak better english than they do. I've come to terms with "not sounding black" over telephones or drive thru speakers and the fact that this comment has absolutely nothing to do with the tone of my voice. I make jokes about shit like this all the time with friends because it lessens the impact when it does actually happen while helping me put it into perspective. I would like to think it'd be a constant reminder for some of my more fair skinned friends (ok let's face it, most of you are white as snow) that these sort of things happen every day and give them a heads up on the things to look for. It's when this involves people with a responsibility to uphold others rights that I get pissed off. When you ignore a speeding car that instantly slows down and pulls off the road the moment you appear to get the broke looking people. When you use your authority to pull someone over and question them about horn and screeching tires while hiding behind an excuse that less than a $30 fine, then proceed to yell at them when they're already visibly upset and panicking with each question you ask that's totally unrelated to the supposed reason you pulled them over. When, without any sort of probable cause, you follow that person to their home and proceed to look inside their car like you're going to find a dime bag or gun lying on the back seat because they have a fucking tag light out. That's the kind of shit that I get angry about. A complete waste of time and effort, and embarassing to both parties (though only one is likely to get it). Don't even dare sit and tell me this shit was situational, or that there's enough "misrepresentation" where I live to justify it. Sometimes I get really sick and fucking tired of being the black kid who is only black when the situation deems it necessary. There are days I wish I could walk outside and just be a well dressed guy instead of a well dressed black guy. But you know, that shit doesn't always happen. The 60's really weren't that long ago. Hell, my parents were alive (and militant as shit I come to find out in my high school years) when we were getting free street showers and petting zoos for asking nicely to go to school. But that's taking things a bit far, and I don't wanna get all historical tonight. Too much Take the Power Back may bring about the Township Rebellion in me and I'm too tired for that shit.
Man. Fuck tha Police.