MARCH CONTEST 03
TITLE: DELAY
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Sho has no idea about pretty much anything except the fact that Nino is Nino.
It's difficult to pin down what kind of person Nino is.
It could be said that he's likely to wedge himself into small corners and hide away, or that he likes putting himself into the center or things, or that he's loud, or that he's shy.
Someone could say that Nino never seems to put effort into things, while someone else would say that they'd never seen anything but Nino trying his best. One magazine article might put forward the impression of blunt straightforwardness, while another would paint Nino in the image of a meandering philosopher.
There's even the idea that someone who constantly plays the same format of game over and over must be lacking in creativity, but to people who know him Nino's ideas come in a steady flow and are never-ending.
Sho has never thought about Nino in any of these terms. He's never needed to.
To Sho, Nino is Nino. He's Nino who giggled over nudie mags with him, Nino who gave Sho his first cigarette, Nino who broke down Sho's misconceptions about people coming from lesser means of income, Nino who made staying in Johnny's bearable.
Nino is only Sho's friend until somehow, in some way that Sho maybe resents, there's a small possibility that Sho wants it to be more. It's not one exact moment - it doesn't happen when they spend more time together than apart, or when Sho's teenage temper recedes, or when Arashi is more established - it happens over the years, quietly and softly, until Sho can't help it.
It's easy to pin down what kind of person Sho himself is. Hopeless, he thinks.
He possibly has a habit of defending Nino.
It starts early on, maybe as early as the time Sho is (very carefully and clandestinely) drinking with a few other Juniors. It's a shithole of an apartment, not too much different than Sho's own room, but the difference is that it's their secret clubhouse of a sorts. They can talk about whatever they want. It's usually girls, sometimes it's the staff members they work with, sometimes about how annoying it is doing the things they do, and everything is fine until the day one boy casually insults Nino.
"That kid's weird."
"Yeah, isn't he? I mean, he has this face he makes when he looks at you, like, pfft... it's so annoying, sometimes I want to hit him--"
"Always playing games! How long can you keep playing anyway?"
"He doesn't seem to care about anything. What a cold guy."
Sho almost shocks himself when he slams his beer down, the liquid slopping over the sides of the glass. "Hey," he says, voice heated, "don't talk that way about Ninomiya!"
The other boys stare at him with surprised eyes. "Calm down, Sakurai."
Maybe it's the alcohol or maybe it's just the way he is, but Sho is angry. His heart starts beating faster and the room becomes stuffy; his fists curl at his sides. "You say something like that again and I'll punch your faces in!"
"Sakurai, what the hell--"
When the haze of red clears from Sho's vision, he's standing outside the apartment building, his knuckles swollen, impossibly all the way down the stairs. Maybe he's made a mistake. He probably won't be drinking with these boys again, despite the reputation he's managed to build up amongst the Juniors. But still, he thinks, Nino.
He watches his breath come out misty white in the cold air, dissipating a short distance from his face. Then he punches himself in the arm. Stupid.
It's not like Nino needs protecting. He's not a weak kid, despite how small he's remained while Sho's steadily been filling out. But it's more the fact that Nino remains quiet about things, not willing to complain, that Sho knows he's been bullied for a long time, that--
It doesn't make sense. Word gets out that Sakurai Sho will mess up anybody who says anything bad about Ninomiya, and for some time nobody says anything at all.
Sho never finds out if Nino knows (and he's relieved, because what kind of teenage boy would want this kind of thing?), but by that point they both want to quit anyway.
It won't matter anymore.
He gets easily irritated and has no idea why.
Sho has his fair share of girlfriends over the years, and manages to screw up almost every relationship magnificently. Sho is a cool guy - but he's awkward and he doesn't think he'll ever understand romance. Apparently his mind is always elsewhere, either on Arashi or on his schoolwork. I don't know what it is, they all say, but it doesn't seem like you're ever thinking of just me.
Sho has no idea what else he could be thinking about.
He's just been dumped again and is sitting in his room moping when he decided to mail Nino a snapshot of his overflowing trash can. Nino loves this kind of stuff, Sho knows. Sometimes he mails back with either something sarcastic in response, or a frightfully deep comment that impresses Sho. Sometimes it's just a line of exclamation marks and smiley faces.
Nino responds with a photo of him and Ohno in some club, grinning cheesily and throwing peace signs at the camera.
Sho snaps his phone shut, scowling. He shoves it in his pocket and stands up, sits down, then stands up again and starts to shift things around on his desk. Before he knows it, there's a garbage bag in his hands and he's actively tidying up his room.
Mai pokes her head around his door. "A 23-year-old actually cleaning his room for once? Wow! Hey, wait." She narrows her eyes. "You only clean when you're angry. Did you get dumped again or something?"
Sho drops his bag. "No! Well, yes. Uh..."
But that's not why I'm so mad. Sho thinks. Why am I so mad?
He doesn't even notice it when he shoves one of the fifty tiger shirts Aiba's given him into the trash bag.
He can't help trying to make Nino happy.
"The theme here this time, guys, is green."
"Green? Clothes? The color?"
"You know, like spring!"
Aiba gives a quiet whoop to Sho's side, grinning his head off. Jun immediately starts asking questions of the staff. Ohno doesn't seem to care; he's methodically ripping strips off his bread, then tearing them apart into smaller little squares before putting them into his mouth. Nino looks dubious.
They're sitting in a typical meeting room before a group photoshoot for the monthly newsletter, and it's far too early for Sho's tastes. He might need something strong before he can actually function.
Nino leans over to whisper into Sho's ear. The warm touch of his shoulder makes Sho jump, even makes him instantly awake, and Nino raises his eyebrows. "Okay, Sho-chan?"
"...just tired."
"Yeah," Nino agrees. They're all tired. "Has anyone informed these guys that beyond that field they want to take photos of us in, there's still snow all over the ground?"
Even if they had, the staff doesn't seem to care. Half an hour later Sho is shivering madly, bunched up with the other four in a tangle on the still frozen grass. It's cold and only getting colder as the sun begins setting.
"Spring, my ass," Aiba mutters petulantly. "If it was really spring I wouldn't be able to breathe."
Sho instinctively starts waiting for Nino's sarcastic comment to that, looking up when it doesn't come. Nino is shivering the most - of course he is. He's only clothed in a light t-shirt with an entirely ineffective green scarf tied around his neck. (The stylists say that big sweaters make Nino look younger, and he's not allowed to wear the jacket they all have in between short takes.) Nino is bunched up to Ohno's side and looks miserable, white fingers gripping his elbows.
Dressed in a warm hoodie, Sho feels lousy.
When he can, he jogs over to their van and digs through his stuff. The ugly orange mittens with green stripes are exactly where he left them in his bag. Mai had bought them for him as a joke on his birthday, laughing that despite him being an idol for so long he still had no idea how to dress himself so these would be fitting, right? Sho hasn't put them on since the day he received them.
He hesitates, then goes to give them to Nino.
He doesn't want Nino to be cold.
Despite how hideous they are, Nino keeps the mittens for a long time.
He attempts staying in denial, because there's so much that could go wrong.
"You know," Jun says casually, when it's just the two of them in a dressing room, "what would you say to someone near thirty who tries to show someone he's interested by making moon eyes at the person for several years?"
Sho looks up from his laptop with surprise. "Uh. Probably to stop acting like a teenager and go for it?"
"That'd be good advice," Jun agrees, and the way he frowns makes Sho furrow his brow in confusion. Lately it feels like he's been holding conversations with people and missing something very big.
He doesn't drink with the express intention of getting into Nino's pants. Sho's far too terrified of exactly that happening.
They go drinking after the last concert of their tour when they're back in Tokyo, just him and Nino. The other three are too tired, while Nino says he wants to take advantage of a rare day off from filming. Sho offers to go with him.
He's exhausted, though, and it doesn't take long for him to get buzzed. Nino's still nibbling at his meat, his skin only beginning to redden under his eyes, when Sho starts wobbling. Sho's tired but still riding on adrenaline, and now he's slightly drunk, and it's a bad mix - all things considered - but it makes Sho brave.
"You haven't been hanging out with Satoshi that much lately," he says, trying to keep his voice even and not suspicious. "Everything okay?"
Nino shrugs. He puts his chopsticks down with a small click, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "It's fine, Sho-chan. I don't want to intrude on him and the new girlfriend."
Sho's head swims.
"...are you jealous?" It's not something he'd ever ask if he were sober.
"Oh, yeah," Nino comments lightly. "Green with it."
Something in Nino's eyes makes Sho lose his breath. Something tells him they're not talking about Ohno, that what Sho is asking about doesn't have anything to do with Satoshi at all. Nino is looking at Sho with intent. Sho ducks his head.
They go home to Nino's apartment because Sho doesn't like showing up drunk at home. There's faint danger signals going off in Sho's brain, but he ignores them in favor of being sober enough to help Nino lay out the futon in his living room.
Sho and Nino crawl under the same blanket on opposite sides of the futon and fall asleep.
He wakes during the night because there's a crick in his neck. Sho's toes are freezing where the futon cover has slipped off of them and he shivers, curling them up and towards his body. When he turns his head Nino is looking at him, sleepy and half-lidded.
There's a pink crease running across Nino's cheek. Sleeping must have made them roll closer together: their knees are touching and that small point of contact is somehow strikingly intimate. The light coming from Nino's muted TV casts a green hue on the edges of everything.
Neither of them move.
The silence is filled with the electronic hum of various electronics. Nino's eyes are very patient.
Sho looks back at him. Then he lifts himself up on his elbows and rolls on top of Nino, the blanket crumpled between them, tangling their limbs together. Nino doesn't protest. He only gives a small sigh and parts his legs, letting Sho fall in between, closer. Sho flushes despite the cold, dipping his head hesitantly to Nino's neck. Nino smells like beer and himself, masculine.
His hands come up to lightly rest on Sho's back and Sho dips his head. There's no going back from this, although what they already are - friends, comrades - won't ever change.
Sho's lips touch Nino's skin.
He can feel Nino swallow and stir under him, ankle digging restlessly into the sheets. Sho kisses down Nino's neck, over his collarbones, lingering. He hasn't dared look at Nino's face yet. He shoves Nino's t-shirt up to his armpits, strokes down his sides and kisses down lower. Nino's breaths are small and rapid. He's so warm under Sho's fingers.
"You're not cold at all," Sho says very quietly.
Nino makes a questioning noise. "Sho?"
"It's nothing."
Sho moves up and looks at Nino's face, his parted lips, his smooth cheeks, the mole on his chin. Altogether, it's ordinarily Nino. But the the fire of him makes something he should've realized long ago finally formulate in his mind. I like you, Sho thinks, that's the only thing.
Finally, he kisses him.
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Sho has no idea about pretty much anything except the fact that Nino is Nino.
It's difficult to pin down what kind of person Nino is.
It could be said that he's likely to wedge himself into small corners and hide away, or that he likes putting himself into the center or things, or that he's loud, or that he's shy.
Someone could say that Nino never seems to put effort into things, while someone else would say that they'd never seen anything but Nino trying his best. One magazine article might put forward the impression of blunt straightforwardness, while another would paint Nino in the image of a meandering philosopher.
There's even the idea that someone who constantly plays the same format of game over and over must be lacking in creativity, but to people who know him Nino's ideas come in a steady flow and are never-ending.
Sho has never thought about Nino in any of these terms. He's never needed to.
To Sho, Nino is Nino. He's Nino who giggled over nudie mags with him, Nino who gave Sho his first cigarette, Nino who broke down Sho's misconceptions about people coming from lesser means of income, Nino who made staying in Johnny's bearable.
Nino is only Sho's friend until somehow, in some way that Sho maybe resents, there's a small possibility that Sho wants it to be more. It's not one exact moment - it doesn't happen when they spend more time together than apart, or when Sho's teenage temper recedes, or when Arashi is more established - it happens over the years, quietly and softly, until Sho can't help it.
It's easy to pin down what kind of person Sho himself is. Hopeless, he thinks.
He possibly has a habit of defending Nino.
It starts early on, maybe as early as the time Sho is (very carefully and clandestinely) drinking with a few other Juniors. It's a shithole of an apartment, not too much different than Sho's own room, but the difference is that it's their secret clubhouse of a sorts. They can talk about whatever they want. It's usually girls, sometimes it's the staff members they work with, sometimes about how annoying it is doing the things they do, and everything is fine until the day one boy casually insults Nino.
"That kid's weird."
"Yeah, isn't he? I mean, he has this face he makes when he looks at you, like, pfft... it's so annoying, sometimes I want to hit him--"
"Always playing games! How long can you keep playing anyway?"
"He doesn't seem to care about anything. What a cold guy."
Sho almost shocks himself when he slams his beer down, the liquid slopping over the sides of the glass. "Hey," he says, voice heated, "don't talk that way about Ninomiya!"
The other boys stare at him with surprised eyes. "Calm down, Sakurai."
Maybe it's the alcohol or maybe it's just the way he is, but Sho is angry. His heart starts beating faster and the room becomes stuffy; his fists curl at his sides. "You say something like that again and I'll punch your faces in!"
"Sakurai, what the hell--"
When the haze of red clears from Sho's vision, he's standing outside the apartment building, his knuckles swollen, impossibly all the way down the stairs. Maybe he's made a mistake. He probably won't be drinking with these boys again, despite the reputation he's managed to build up amongst the Juniors. But still, he thinks, Nino.
He watches his breath come out misty white in the cold air, dissipating a short distance from his face. Then he punches himself in the arm. Stupid.
It's not like Nino needs protecting. He's not a weak kid, despite how small he's remained while Sho's steadily been filling out. But it's more the fact that Nino remains quiet about things, not willing to complain, that Sho knows he's been bullied for a long time, that--
It doesn't make sense. Word gets out that Sakurai Sho will mess up anybody who says anything bad about Ninomiya, and for some time nobody says anything at all.
Sho never finds out if Nino knows (and he's relieved, because what kind of teenage boy would want this kind of thing?), but by that point they both want to quit anyway.
It won't matter anymore.
He gets easily irritated and has no idea why.
Sho has his fair share of girlfriends over the years, and manages to screw up almost every relationship magnificently. Sho is a cool guy - but he's awkward and he doesn't think he'll ever understand romance. Apparently his mind is always elsewhere, either on Arashi or on his schoolwork. I don't know what it is, they all say, but it doesn't seem like you're ever thinking of just me.
Sho has no idea what else he could be thinking about.
He's just been dumped again and is sitting in his room moping when he decided to mail Nino a snapshot of his overflowing trash can. Nino loves this kind of stuff, Sho knows. Sometimes he mails back with either something sarcastic in response, or a frightfully deep comment that impresses Sho. Sometimes it's just a line of exclamation marks and smiley faces.
Nino responds with a photo of him and Ohno in some club, grinning cheesily and throwing peace signs at the camera.
Sho snaps his phone shut, scowling. He shoves it in his pocket and stands up, sits down, then stands up again and starts to shift things around on his desk. Before he knows it, there's a garbage bag in his hands and he's actively tidying up his room.
Mai pokes her head around his door. "A 23-year-old actually cleaning his room for once? Wow! Hey, wait." She narrows her eyes. "You only clean when you're angry. Did you get dumped again or something?"
Sho drops his bag. "No! Well, yes. Uh..."
But that's not why I'm so mad. Sho thinks. Why am I so mad?
He doesn't even notice it when he shoves one of the fifty tiger shirts Aiba's given him into the trash bag.
He can't help trying to make Nino happy.
"The theme here this time, guys, is green."
"Green? Clothes? The color?"
"You know, like spring!"
Aiba gives a quiet whoop to Sho's side, grinning his head off. Jun immediately starts asking questions of the staff. Ohno doesn't seem to care; he's methodically ripping strips off his bread, then tearing them apart into smaller little squares before putting them into his mouth. Nino looks dubious.
They're sitting in a typical meeting room before a group photoshoot for the monthly newsletter, and it's far too early for Sho's tastes. He might need something strong before he can actually function.
Nino leans over to whisper into Sho's ear. The warm touch of his shoulder makes Sho jump, even makes him instantly awake, and Nino raises his eyebrows. "Okay, Sho-chan?"
"...just tired."
"Yeah," Nino agrees. They're all tired. "Has anyone informed these guys that beyond that field they want to take photos of us in, there's still snow all over the ground?"
Even if they had, the staff doesn't seem to care. Half an hour later Sho is shivering madly, bunched up with the other four in a tangle on the still frozen grass. It's cold and only getting colder as the sun begins setting.
"Spring, my ass," Aiba mutters petulantly. "If it was really spring I wouldn't be able to breathe."
Sho instinctively starts waiting for Nino's sarcastic comment to that, looking up when it doesn't come. Nino is shivering the most - of course he is. He's only clothed in a light t-shirt with an entirely ineffective green scarf tied around his neck. (The stylists say that big sweaters make Nino look younger, and he's not allowed to wear the jacket they all have in between short takes.) Nino is bunched up to Ohno's side and looks miserable, white fingers gripping his elbows.
Dressed in a warm hoodie, Sho feels lousy.
When he can, he jogs over to their van and digs through his stuff. The ugly orange mittens with green stripes are exactly where he left them in his bag. Mai had bought them for him as a joke on his birthday, laughing that despite him being an idol for so long he still had no idea how to dress himself so these would be fitting, right? Sho hasn't put them on since the day he received them.
He hesitates, then goes to give them to Nino.
He doesn't want Nino to be cold.
Despite how hideous they are, Nino keeps the mittens for a long time.
He attempts staying in denial, because there's so much that could go wrong.
"You know," Jun says casually, when it's just the two of them in a dressing room, "what would you say to someone near thirty who tries to show someone he's interested by making moon eyes at the person for several years?"
Sho looks up from his laptop with surprise. "Uh. Probably to stop acting like a teenager and go for it?"
"That'd be good advice," Jun agrees, and the way he frowns makes Sho furrow his brow in confusion. Lately it feels like he's been holding conversations with people and missing something very big.
He doesn't drink with the express intention of getting into Nino's pants. Sho's far too terrified of exactly that happening.
They go drinking after the last concert of their tour when they're back in Tokyo, just him and Nino. The other three are too tired, while Nino says he wants to take advantage of a rare day off from filming. Sho offers to go with him.
He's exhausted, though, and it doesn't take long for him to get buzzed. Nino's still nibbling at his meat, his skin only beginning to redden under his eyes, when Sho starts wobbling. Sho's tired but still riding on adrenaline, and now he's slightly drunk, and it's a bad mix - all things considered - but it makes Sho brave.
"You haven't been hanging out with Satoshi that much lately," he says, trying to keep his voice even and not suspicious. "Everything okay?"
Nino shrugs. He puts his chopsticks down with a small click, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "It's fine, Sho-chan. I don't want to intrude on him and the new girlfriend."
Sho's head swims.
"...are you jealous?" It's not something he'd ever ask if he were sober.
"Oh, yeah," Nino comments lightly. "Green with it."
Something in Nino's eyes makes Sho lose his breath. Something tells him they're not talking about Ohno, that what Sho is asking about doesn't have anything to do with Satoshi at all. Nino is looking at Sho with intent. Sho ducks his head.
They go home to Nino's apartment because Sho doesn't like showing up drunk at home. There's faint danger signals going off in Sho's brain, but he ignores them in favor of being sober enough to help Nino lay out the futon in his living room.
Sho and Nino crawl under the same blanket on opposite sides of the futon and fall asleep.
He wakes during the night because there's a crick in his neck. Sho's toes are freezing where the futon cover has slipped off of them and he shivers, curling them up and towards his body. When he turns his head Nino is looking at him, sleepy and half-lidded.
There's a pink crease running across Nino's cheek. Sleeping must have made them roll closer together: their knees are touching and that small point of contact is somehow strikingly intimate. The light coming from Nino's muted TV casts a green hue on the edges of everything.
Neither of them move.
The silence is filled with the electronic hum of various electronics. Nino's eyes are very patient.
Sho looks back at him. Then he lifts himself up on his elbows and rolls on top of Nino, the blanket crumpled between them, tangling their limbs together. Nino doesn't protest. He only gives a small sigh and parts his legs, letting Sho fall in between, closer. Sho flushes despite the cold, dipping his head hesitantly to Nino's neck. Nino smells like beer and himself, masculine.
His hands come up to lightly rest on Sho's back and Sho dips his head. There's no going back from this, although what they already are - friends, comrades - won't ever change.
Sho's lips touch Nino's skin.
He can feel Nino swallow and stir under him, ankle digging restlessly into the sheets. Sho kisses down Nino's neck, over his collarbones, lingering. He hasn't dared look at Nino's face yet. He shoves Nino's t-shirt up to his armpits, strokes down his sides and kisses down lower. Nino's breaths are small and rapid. He's so warm under Sho's fingers.
"You're not cold at all," Sho says very quietly.
Nino makes a questioning noise. "Sho?"
"It's nothing."
Sho moves up and looks at Nino's face, his parted lips, his smooth cheeks, the mole on his chin. Altogether, it's ordinarily Nino. But the the fire of him makes something he should've realized long ago finally formulate in his mind. I like you, Sho thinks, that's the only thing.
Finally, he kisses him.