Sigh
I spend way too much time worried about what other people want from me than what I need for myself.
I already have this completely stressed life because of my schedule, one that I put on myself but also one that is kind of necessary.
Financial stability is important while also having enough time to think is important as well, and where is the balance of that? When you are in your 30s, married, have bills every month and have more than one person you have to think about, decisions are not simple. There are many factos and variables that have to be considered and its hard either way.
Right now I cannot afford not to work. If I had to work, why not work where I make more money than I would anywhere else with benefits I couldn't get anywhere else? Even if it is hard???
I am going to cut back on work in a few months, but not a ton...one extra day, but is that all I need...an actual day off in a week? Does anyone really realize how much that does for a person until they dont have one??
I work 5 days a week and go to school from 12:30 -8:00pm the other two. So I dont just have one day to myself. One day makes a difference. It used to at my old store when I had people who understood and I could work long hours during the days I was there and just take that extra day when needed..work between classes if need be.
I also have a need for some relaxation, some free time...seeing my friends, having fun, enjoying myself, not being tied to responsibility at least for a few hours...the options I get...oh give that up, forget about it.
Its like punishment for trying to do better... There is a lot of fussing at me lately...telling me what to do and a lot of negative. It hurts my feelings. I feel alienated from the people who used to make me smile.
It sucks.
I almost just want to give up.
I already have this completely stressed life because of my schedule, one that I put on myself but also one that is kind of necessary.
Financial stability is important while also having enough time to think is important as well, and where is the balance of that? When you are in your 30s, married, have bills every month and have more than one person you have to think about, decisions are not simple. There are many factos and variables that have to be considered and its hard either way.
Right now I cannot afford not to work. If I had to work, why not work where I make more money than I would anywhere else with benefits I couldn't get anywhere else? Even if it is hard???
I am going to cut back on work in a few months, but not a ton...one extra day, but is that all I need...an actual day off in a week? Does anyone really realize how much that does for a person until they dont have one??
I work 5 days a week and go to school from 12:30 -8:00pm the other two. So I dont just have one day to myself. One day makes a difference. It used to at my old store when I had people who understood and I could work long hours during the days I was there and just take that extra day when needed..work between classes if need be.
I also have a need for some relaxation, some free time...seeing my friends, having fun, enjoying myself, not being tied to responsibility at least for a few hours...the options I get...oh give that up, forget about it.
Its like punishment for trying to do better... There is a lot of fussing at me lately...telling me what to do and a lot of negative. It hurts my feelings. I feel alienated from the people who used to make me smile.
It sucks.
I almost just want to give up.