Personal insights
So I had to go through our finances so as to put a number on exactly how much we spend on bills, gas, groceries, etc. And I was completely uncomfortable about doing so, but didn't know why.
Then it hit me. I like shopping. A lot. Shopping is a wonderful high. And the high continues even after I make the purchases if what I bought is for someone else. I love the feeling of giving someone something. It's spectacular.
But it's costing us a lot of money.
Our honest-to-goodness bills are about 1/4 of what we bring in...and yet it seems we are eternally broke. But I have great clothes, and my hubby has good clothes, we have things we want and need, and we give a lot. Not just to friends, but to charities and such as well.
As I am comming to this realization, and as I think about it in a reational manner, I would put it in the same category as addiction. Because the same results are achieved by it...short term euphoria, comfort, falsly-induced happyness, all the things any other addiction will provide to the "user". From food addictions, to drug and sex addictions.
I used to scoff at the thought of a 'shopping addiction'. I'm realizing at this point it is more because it hit too close to home, rather than its outlandishness. (though it does seem pretty retarded)
The money that I have spent in the last 7 years could have all but paid off our house. Seriously. O_o
So I have a few goals...saving about 1/4 of our monthly income, having all the things fixed in the house by June, and being in a place to let John take just a part-time crap job so he can go back to school in a year or two. Eating out will be cut back, and I am going to seriously debate if I need what I put in a cart when I go shopping. I also have decided that I am not going to buy ANY new clothes until a while after my wls.
It's going to take some serious resraint on my part when it comes to shopping and eating out. We eat out to the tune of almost a $800 a month. That is a blow in and of itself.
I hate my kitchen, and therefor despise cooking in it. So I use that as an excuse all the time.
I'm so screwed up...but then, it's said that the best therapist has the worst issues themselves ;)
Then it hit me. I like shopping. A lot. Shopping is a wonderful high. And the high continues even after I make the purchases if what I bought is for someone else. I love the feeling of giving someone something. It's spectacular.
But it's costing us a lot of money.
Our honest-to-goodness bills are about 1/4 of what we bring in...and yet it seems we are eternally broke. But I have great clothes, and my hubby has good clothes, we have things we want and need, and we give a lot. Not just to friends, but to charities and such as well.
As I am comming to this realization, and as I think about it in a reational manner, I would put it in the same category as addiction. Because the same results are achieved by it...short term euphoria, comfort, falsly-induced happyness, all the things any other addiction will provide to the "user". From food addictions, to drug and sex addictions.
I used to scoff at the thought of a 'shopping addiction'. I'm realizing at this point it is more because it hit too close to home, rather than its outlandishness. (though it does seem pretty retarded)
The money that I have spent in the last 7 years could have all but paid off our house. Seriously. O_o
So I have a few goals...saving about 1/4 of our monthly income, having all the things fixed in the house by June, and being in a place to let John take just a part-time crap job so he can go back to school in a year or two. Eating out will be cut back, and I am going to seriously debate if I need what I put in a cart when I go shopping. I also have decided that I am not going to buy ANY new clothes until a while after my wls.
It's going to take some serious resraint on my part when it comes to shopping and eating out. We eat out to the tune of almost a $800 a month. That is a blow in and of itself.
I hate my kitchen, and therefor despise cooking in it. So I use that as an excuse all the time.
I'm so screwed up...but then, it's said that the best therapist has the worst issues themselves ;)