[Series] Life Is... Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 1)
AUTHOR: shojunniji
PAIRING: ShoJun/Sakumoto, Matsumiya friendship (in this chapter)
GENRE: au, friendship, romance, angst
RATING: R (for language), PG-13
WORD COUNT: 2017
DISCLAIMERS: A work of fiction. I do not own Arashi.
SUMMARY: Five boys met at a university. Destinies intertwined and their lives are forever changed.
INDEX Chapter 8: A Bizarre Love Triangle| Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 2)
*****
Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 1)
Jun stared at Satoshi's back, even long after he had gone. He hoped that Satoshi would come back. Satoshi didn't have to say sorry or anything cheesy, all Satoshi had to do was walk back, grinned, and they would laugh together and everything would be like before. But Satoshi didn't come back, and that unbearable feeling of abandonment overwhelmed Jun again.
Why did everybody important to me leave me?
Jun felt Sho squeezed his hand.
Will he leave me too? eventually?
"Jun, are you okay?", Jun heard Sho said.
Jun faked a smile on his tears-streaked face. He stood up and carefully pulled Sho up.
"Yeah, sure, it's you that I'm worried about, are you alright Sho? can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm fine...", Sho grimaced from the pain.
Sho noticed how sad Jun was. He began to feel guilty. Sho realized how possessive he was of Jun, and added to his already impulsive nature, the combination was dangerous. He thought it was the right thing to do, to talk or even fight with Satoshi and declare what was his. But Sho forgot the fact that Jun and Satoshi were bestfriends long before he and Jun were together, and he certainly didn't expect that Jun would be that heartbroken, cried even, watching Satoshi walked away.
Jun brought Sho to his apartment. He sat Sho down on the tatami and hurriedly gathered the first aid necessities. Towels, hot water, bandages, disinfectants. Sho was not that badly hurt, but still he needed cleaning and some bandages.
Jun was back, "Take off your shirt and jeans, let's clean you up", he ordered, but then blushed, noticing the implications if they were in some other circumstances.
Sho took off his dirt-covered shirt and jeans, leaving him only wearing an inner shirt and boxer pants. Jun tried hard to ignore Sho's dazzling body and worked skillfully cleaning and bandaging Sho's wounds.
Sho looked at Jun's face, still feeling guilty. Jun knelt beside him, and almost finished treating him.
Suddenly Sho wrapped his arms around Jun's waist and pressed his face against Jun's chest. He inhaled Jun's scent deep into his lungs, and thought that was how the heaven would've smelled.
Jun was startled but then tangled his fingers with Sho's hair, and stroked it affectionately.
"What's the matter Sho?"
"I'm...I'm sorry Jun, I shouldn't have come, I drove him away", Sho mumbled into Jun's chest.
Jun paused for a moment but then continued stroking Sho's hair.
"It's not true, he was leaving anyway", he told the truth. Yeah, Satoshi was leaving anyway, maybe more peacefully if Sho hadn't showed up, but Jun also understood how Sho must have felt.
"You were right Jun, I'm sick", Sho said again, looking up to Jun.
"No, I'm sorry I said that, I didn't know you back then, please, don't ever think yourself sick ever again", Jun replied, regretting what he said at the incident at the narrow alley only weeks ago.
"But you're right, I've been blinded, my brain, myself, was not working properly. I was sick, I still am, and I know you're the only one who can heal me. Promise me you'll never leave me? Please?" Sho looked into Jun's eyes, pleading.
Jun looked down and met his eyes. It was the first time someone ever told him that he was needed, and
literally clung to him. It felt good and fulfilling.
And even if Sho didn't ask him, he was determined not to leave Sho anyway, as long as...
"I promise", Jun whispered.
As long as you stay by my side.
Jun bent down and kissed Sho's swollen lips, gently.
*****
Jun spent the rest of the summer holiday quietly. He would sit at the library for hours, doing his assignments, or reading or both, and Sho would sit with him, miraculously also doing his assignments, or just stared at Jun all the time. Jun thought it was funny that he and Sho could be that quiet. He imagined that since they were so much in love and considering how passionate they began the relationship, what would follow after they were officially together would be.....well, a lot more than sitting together at the library.
But the fact that Satoshi left still bothered him so much that Jun couldn't think of anything else. And he thought it wouldn't be right to be together with Sho when his bestfriend might not coming back to the college, because of him.
Days passed by and still no words from Satoshi, Jun tried to call Satoshi's cell phone countless times, only to realize that Satoshi turned it off. It was only a few days left before the autumn semester began, and Satoshi still hadn't come back. Jun checked Satoshi's apartment from time to time, like today. He came to check again, but judging from the piles of advertisements leaflets inside the postbox, it seemed that Satoshi was not home yet.
Satoshi closed the doors to his wooden house that he had just opened up for me
Jun was at a loss of what to do. If Satoshi didn't register his classes in a few days, his graduation would be delayed. He wanted to fly south to look for him but which south? Kyushu? Okinawa? and how the hell he supposed to find Satoshi there? He didn't know Satoshi's family or relatives so he had no one to ask.
His one and only way to bring Satoshi back was Nino. Jun sometimes forgot Satoshi and Nino were bestfriends long before he knew Satoshi. And he felt bad to Nino about it. Jun often had Satoshi to himself, eventhough he didn't mean to do that. But when Satoshi painted him, or when they were busy at the theater club, Jun thought Nino must have felt he'd been excluded from them most of the times. Maybe that was why he became closer to Masaki, because he missed Satoshi.
Jun already told Nino about what happened --except for the Satoshi's confession part-- and apologized, and predictably Nino hated Sho even more for that. Nino said that he sort of of predicted that sooner or later that kind of clash was inevitable, but still, he hated Sho for hurting Satoshi, and Jun understood that. However, Jun had no choice but to ask for Nino's help. He called Nino and they agreed to meet at a family restaurant near the campus.
Jun was already waiting for him when Nino came. Jun was reading a book, and wearing a rather geeky black-rimmed glasses. Nino grinned at the irony, look at this guy, he still managed looking so attractive with that geeky glasses and a thick book.
"Hi!", Nino greeted "what are you reading?", he said and sat on the opposite side of the table.
Jun looked up, "Nino, I'm glad you came", Jun smiled, genuinely happy that Nino came after what happened to him and Satoshi, "oh, it's a classic novel", he continued, showing the cover to Nino.
Nino looked at it and frowned...."my dear, I don't give a damn", he said, quoting from the last part of the novel.
Jun chuckled, "I'm impressed, you read it"
"Nah, only the last part, my English teacher made me", Nino grinned.
He was also glad seeing Jun. He was so busy missing Satoshi he forgot that he missed Jun too. During the past weeks after Satoshi was gone, Nino felt some kind of resentment towards Jun because he thought Jun, and his new boyfriend drove Satoshi away. But now he knew the responsibility lied on Satoshi only. Satoshi was an adult, he had to take responsibility of his own actions.
"Nino..." Jun began, "I...I need your help", he said, looking nervously at Nino.
"You want me to bring Satoshi back", Nino nodded.
"Yeah, I...need you to find some information about his whereabouts to his family, and then I'll go there and fetch him myself", Jun said again.
Nino was silent and looked at Jun for a while.
"I know where he is, and I'm going there tomorrow", he stated bluntly.
Jun was shocked, "You knew? all this time?"
Nino nodded.
"Then why didn't you tell me?" Jun asked, almost angrily.
"What would you do if I told you? I bet you'd fly there and try to reason him to come back, without giving him the time to think or contemplate....", Nino retorted.
Jun only listened, yeah, that was exactly what he would do.
Nino sighed, "You know, it doesn't help being preached by the person you love, when you know that person doesn't love you back....", Nino said in a low voice.
He looked outside the window and watched some senior high school students spent the last days of holiday at a park nearby, just like him and Satoshi, once upon a time. But the pages in the book of him and Satoshi were already torn in many places now, he regretted.
Jun froze and stared at him. You knew?
Nino was still watching the kids outside when he said to Jun,
"Yeah, I know. Since months ago. Nobody told me, but I just....know. And I hate it when I was right", Nino turned and looked at Jun now.
"Do you know how many times I wished I was wrong, to no avail?", Nino asked sadly.
"I was right about Satoshi falling for you, I was right about Sakurai falling for you, I was even right about you turning straight men into gay", he said again.
"You what??", Jun frowned hearing Nino's last sentence.
"Never mind that. What I'm trying to say is Jun....if it's in my power, I would want these....all of these not to happen, you know? I don't want Satoshi to romantically love you, I don't want you and Sakurai together, I just want us to live normal lives. We'll graduate in a few years, we'll get married, we'll have our own families, we'll still be bestfriends and go for a drink regularly, and our families will hang out together once in a while....that's all I want... a simple, normal life for us...", Nino was getting emotional. Jun thought he could see something glittered in the corner of his eyes.
"But now that it happened, I don't have any right to tell you or Satoshi how to lead your lives. And....tell you the truth, I hate to admit it but there's something grand about you and Sakurai being together..."
Jun wasn't sure if he understood.
"I mean, look at you, you can date any girl you want. If you only want his money, you could marry any pretty rich girl out there if you try, and it's more unbelievable for him....he's literally committing suicide by dating you.....it's just irrational...", Nino continued.
"So logically, after the ulterior motives are eliminated, the conclusion is the most illogical thing....", Nino paused, "I think what you guys have...maybe....is the true love....", he continued, hesitantly.
Jun was speechless. Nino was.....Nino was....so...precious. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hug or smack Nino on the head for his straightforward statements.
"What? amazed by how I see things?" Nino teased the speechless Jun, "well, but of course, there are some factors I have no ways of finding out such as....mind-blowing sex, maybe?", Nino smirked, teasing Jun even more, partly wanted them both to relax after such a heavy conversation.
That's it, I'll smack him, Jun thought as his hand flew across the table and hit Nino on the head, quite hard.
"Ouch!! that hurts! watch your rings!", Nino complained and rubbed his damaged head.
"Watch your mouth, some children are having lunch here!", Jun hushed him, but then smiled widely. Nino was a kind of friend he would trust his life with. He knew that.
Nino smiled back, "Don't worry Jun, I'll bring Satoshi back, I promise", Nino said, half promising himself. Yeah, he had to bring Satoshi back, he couldn't see otherwise. He needed Satoshi, definitely.
Jun nodded, "I'm counting on you, Nino, and thanks..."
*****
Chapter 8: A Bizarre Love Triangle| Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 2)
INDEX
A/N:
Chapter 9 is going to be long and I don't have time to finish it soon so I decided to divide it into 2 parts, sorry.
I would like to apologize also for those I promised the next chapter of Italian Rendezvous, I'll work on it asap, I'm so sorry *_*
"there's something grand about...." is taken from an old movie, "Anna Karenina"
For new readers: The Earth, Water and Wind and Nino and Satoshi book metaphors are from Chapter 2: Paint Me With Love, the Satoshi's house metaphor comes from Chapter 5: Enchanted
I hope you enjoyed it ^-^, and thank you so much for reading
PAIRING: ShoJun/Sakumoto, Matsumiya friendship (in this chapter)
GENRE: au, friendship, romance, angst
RATING: R (for language), PG-13
WORD COUNT: 2017
DISCLAIMERS: A work of fiction. I do not own Arashi.
SUMMARY: Five boys met at a university. Destinies intertwined and their lives are forever changed.
INDEX Chapter 8: A Bizarre Love Triangle| Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 2)
*****
Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 1)
Jun stared at Satoshi's back, even long after he had gone. He hoped that Satoshi would come back. Satoshi didn't have to say sorry or anything cheesy, all Satoshi had to do was walk back, grinned, and they would laugh together and everything would be like before. But Satoshi didn't come back, and that unbearable feeling of abandonment overwhelmed Jun again.
Why did everybody important to me leave me?
Jun felt Sho squeezed his hand.
Will he leave me too? eventually?
"Jun, are you okay?", Jun heard Sho said.
Jun faked a smile on his tears-streaked face. He stood up and carefully pulled Sho up.
"Yeah, sure, it's you that I'm worried about, are you alright Sho? can you walk?"
"Yeah, I'm fine...", Sho grimaced from the pain.
Sho noticed how sad Jun was. He began to feel guilty. Sho realized how possessive he was of Jun, and added to his already impulsive nature, the combination was dangerous. He thought it was the right thing to do, to talk or even fight with Satoshi and declare what was his. But Sho forgot the fact that Jun and Satoshi were bestfriends long before he and Jun were together, and he certainly didn't expect that Jun would be that heartbroken, cried even, watching Satoshi walked away.
Jun brought Sho to his apartment. He sat Sho down on the tatami and hurriedly gathered the first aid necessities. Towels, hot water, bandages, disinfectants. Sho was not that badly hurt, but still he needed cleaning and some bandages.
Jun was back, "Take off your shirt and jeans, let's clean you up", he ordered, but then blushed, noticing the implications if they were in some other circumstances.
Sho took off his dirt-covered shirt and jeans, leaving him only wearing an inner shirt and boxer pants. Jun tried hard to ignore Sho's dazzling body and worked skillfully cleaning and bandaging Sho's wounds.
Sho looked at Jun's face, still feeling guilty. Jun knelt beside him, and almost finished treating him.
Suddenly Sho wrapped his arms around Jun's waist and pressed his face against Jun's chest. He inhaled Jun's scent deep into his lungs, and thought that was how the heaven would've smelled.
Jun was startled but then tangled his fingers with Sho's hair, and stroked it affectionately.
"What's the matter Sho?"
"I'm...I'm sorry Jun, I shouldn't have come, I drove him away", Sho mumbled into Jun's chest.
Jun paused for a moment but then continued stroking Sho's hair.
"It's not true, he was leaving anyway", he told the truth. Yeah, Satoshi was leaving anyway, maybe more peacefully if Sho hadn't showed up, but Jun also understood how Sho must have felt.
"You were right Jun, I'm sick", Sho said again, looking up to Jun.
"No, I'm sorry I said that, I didn't know you back then, please, don't ever think yourself sick ever again", Jun replied, regretting what he said at the incident at the narrow alley only weeks ago.
"But you're right, I've been blinded, my brain, myself, was not working properly. I was sick, I still am, and I know you're the only one who can heal me. Promise me you'll never leave me? Please?" Sho looked into Jun's eyes, pleading.
Jun looked down and met his eyes. It was the first time someone ever told him that he was needed, and
literally clung to him. It felt good and fulfilling.
And even if Sho didn't ask him, he was determined not to leave Sho anyway, as long as...
"I promise", Jun whispered.
As long as you stay by my side.
Jun bent down and kissed Sho's swollen lips, gently.
*****
Jun spent the rest of the summer holiday quietly. He would sit at the library for hours, doing his assignments, or reading or both, and Sho would sit with him, miraculously also doing his assignments, or just stared at Jun all the time. Jun thought it was funny that he and Sho could be that quiet. He imagined that since they were so much in love and considering how passionate they began the relationship, what would follow after they were officially together would be.....well, a lot more than sitting together at the library.
But the fact that Satoshi left still bothered him so much that Jun couldn't think of anything else. And he thought it wouldn't be right to be together with Sho when his bestfriend might not coming back to the college, because of him.
Days passed by and still no words from Satoshi, Jun tried to call Satoshi's cell phone countless times, only to realize that Satoshi turned it off. It was only a few days left before the autumn semester began, and Satoshi still hadn't come back. Jun checked Satoshi's apartment from time to time, like today. He came to check again, but judging from the piles of advertisements leaflets inside the postbox, it seemed that Satoshi was not home yet.
Satoshi closed the doors to his wooden house that he had just opened up for me
Jun was at a loss of what to do. If Satoshi didn't register his classes in a few days, his graduation would be delayed. He wanted to fly south to look for him but which south? Kyushu? Okinawa? and how the hell he supposed to find Satoshi there? He didn't know Satoshi's family or relatives so he had no one to ask.
His one and only way to bring Satoshi back was Nino. Jun sometimes forgot Satoshi and Nino were bestfriends long before he knew Satoshi. And he felt bad to Nino about it. Jun often had Satoshi to himself, eventhough he didn't mean to do that. But when Satoshi painted him, or when they were busy at the theater club, Jun thought Nino must have felt he'd been excluded from them most of the times. Maybe that was why he became closer to Masaki, because he missed Satoshi.
Jun already told Nino about what happened --except for the Satoshi's confession part-- and apologized, and predictably Nino hated Sho even more for that. Nino said that he sort of of predicted that sooner or later that kind of clash was inevitable, but still, he hated Sho for hurting Satoshi, and Jun understood that. However, Jun had no choice but to ask for Nino's help. He called Nino and they agreed to meet at a family restaurant near the campus.
Jun was already waiting for him when Nino came. Jun was reading a book, and wearing a rather geeky black-rimmed glasses. Nino grinned at the irony, look at this guy, he still managed looking so attractive with that geeky glasses and a thick book.
"Hi!", Nino greeted "what are you reading?", he said and sat on the opposite side of the table.
Jun looked up, "Nino, I'm glad you came", Jun smiled, genuinely happy that Nino came after what happened to him and Satoshi, "oh, it's a classic novel", he continued, showing the cover to Nino.
Nino looked at it and frowned...."my dear, I don't give a damn", he said, quoting from the last part of the novel.
Jun chuckled, "I'm impressed, you read it"
"Nah, only the last part, my English teacher made me", Nino grinned.
He was also glad seeing Jun. He was so busy missing Satoshi he forgot that he missed Jun too. During the past weeks after Satoshi was gone, Nino felt some kind of resentment towards Jun because he thought Jun, and his new boyfriend drove Satoshi away. But now he knew the responsibility lied on Satoshi only. Satoshi was an adult, he had to take responsibility of his own actions.
"Nino..." Jun began, "I...I need your help", he said, looking nervously at Nino.
"You want me to bring Satoshi back", Nino nodded.
"Yeah, I...need you to find some information about his whereabouts to his family, and then I'll go there and fetch him myself", Jun said again.
Nino was silent and looked at Jun for a while.
"I know where he is, and I'm going there tomorrow", he stated bluntly.
Jun was shocked, "You knew? all this time?"
Nino nodded.
"Then why didn't you tell me?" Jun asked, almost angrily.
"What would you do if I told you? I bet you'd fly there and try to reason him to come back, without giving him the time to think or contemplate....", Nino retorted.
Jun only listened, yeah, that was exactly what he would do.
Nino sighed, "You know, it doesn't help being preached by the person you love, when you know that person doesn't love you back....", Nino said in a low voice.
He looked outside the window and watched some senior high school students spent the last days of holiday at a park nearby, just like him and Satoshi, once upon a time. But the pages in the book of him and Satoshi were already torn in many places now, he regretted.
Jun froze and stared at him. You knew?
Nino was still watching the kids outside when he said to Jun,
"Yeah, I know. Since months ago. Nobody told me, but I just....know. And I hate it when I was right", Nino turned and looked at Jun now.
"Do you know how many times I wished I was wrong, to no avail?", Nino asked sadly.
"I was right about Satoshi falling for you, I was right about Sakurai falling for you, I was even right about you turning straight men into gay", he said again.
"You what??", Jun frowned hearing Nino's last sentence.
"Never mind that. What I'm trying to say is Jun....if it's in my power, I would want these....all of these not to happen, you know? I don't want Satoshi to romantically love you, I don't want you and Sakurai together, I just want us to live normal lives. We'll graduate in a few years, we'll get married, we'll have our own families, we'll still be bestfriends and go for a drink regularly, and our families will hang out together once in a while....that's all I want... a simple, normal life for us...", Nino was getting emotional. Jun thought he could see something glittered in the corner of his eyes.
"But now that it happened, I don't have any right to tell you or Satoshi how to lead your lives. And....tell you the truth, I hate to admit it but there's something grand about you and Sakurai being together..."
Jun wasn't sure if he understood.
"I mean, look at you, you can date any girl you want. If you only want his money, you could marry any pretty rich girl out there if you try, and it's more unbelievable for him....he's literally committing suicide by dating you.....it's just irrational...", Nino continued.
"So logically, after the ulterior motives are eliminated, the conclusion is the most illogical thing....", Nino paused, "I think what you guys have...maybe....is the true love....", he continued, hesitantly.
Jun was speechless. Nino was.....Nino was....so...precious. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hug or smack Nino on the head for his straightforward statements.
"What? amazed by how I see things?" Nino teased the speechless Jun, "well, but of course, there are some factors I have no ways of finding out such as....mind-blowing sex, maybe?", Nino smirked, teasing Jun even more, partly wanted them both to relax after such a heavy conversation.
That's it, I'll smack him, Jun thought as his hand flew across the table and hit Nino on the head, quite hard.
"Ouch!! that hurts! watch your rings!", Nino complained and rubbed his damaged head.
"Watch your mouth, some children are having lunch here!", Jun hushed him, but then smiled widely. Nino was a kind of friend he would trust his life with. He knew that.
Nino smiled back, "Don't worry Jun, I'll bring Satoshi back, I promise", Nino said, half promising himself. Yeah, he had to bring Satoshi back, he couldn't see otherwise. He needed Satoshi, definitely.
Jun nodded, "I'm counting on you, Nino, and thanks..."
*****
Chapter 8: A Bizarre Love Triangle| Chapter 9: Earth, Water and Wind (part 2)
INDEX
A/N:
Chapter 9 is going to be long and I don't have time to finish it soon so I decided to divide it into 2 parts, sorry.
I would like to apologize also for those I promised the next chapter of Italian Rendezvous, I'll work on it asap, I'm so sorry *_*
"there's something grand about...." is taken from an old movie, "Anna Karenina"
For new readers: The Earth, Water and Wind and Nino and Satoshi book metaphors are from Chapter 2: Paint Me With Love, the Satoshi's house metaphor comes from Chapter 5: Enchanted
I hope you enjoyed it ^-^, and thank you so much for reading