[Series] Life Is... (Prologue)
AUTHOR: shojunniji
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: none (for now)
GENRE: AU, Friendship, Angst
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 680
DISCLAIMERS: A work of fiction. I do not own Arashi.
NOTES/WARNINGS: Includes probable character death (in prologue and some chapters), already moved to konomamamotto
*****
Chapter 1: When Three Meets Two
*****
Prologue
The beautiful blue sea in the horizon seemed ethereal compared to the bleak graveyard on top of a hill in a remote tiny island in southern Japan.
That day, the weather was gloomy, dark clouds were hanging over the sky above and sent lightning and thunder to the earth below.
But even the gloomy weather seemed more cheerful than a group of four men visited the graveyard that day. They stood before a black marble grave.
One of them fell on his knee and cried,
“I….killed him….I killed him…..” his voice was shaking, his body trembled heavily. Tears were falling down his cheek, and fell to the black grave.
“I killed him didn’t I?” he said again. He knew that was true, but a tiny part of him wanted someone to deny what he said. Guilt had been haunting him for years and countless times he wished he could die too.
What’s the point of living if everyday feels like torture?
One of the three men who stood behind him said after a long silence.
“Yes you did, and you ruined our lives. The five of us”, the voice was calm but as cold as ice. It stabbed him like a knife. That calm voice emphasized the gravity of what was just said. It always did. Most of the times the owner of the voice didn’t show his emotions, but at times he did, no doubt he was the scariest of the five of them.
He turned to face the voice. The three men there were used to be his best friends, and yet he knew he couldn’t hope for even a slightest hint of forgiveness.
He was sure he would see anger, or even disdain in their faces, but all he could see was grief. A bottomless grief that was impossible to heal. He understood because he felt it too. He was sure he was more devastated than the three of them combined. The grief had emptied him from everything. He was soulless, hollow, not living or dying, like a wandering ghost whose sole purpose of existence was to suffer.
He turned to face the grave again.
“Then just kill me will you? There’s no point of me living like this….please, I beg you….”, he said in agony. He begged them before and he would do it again. He couldn’t understand why they couldn’t kill him before, when hatred got the best of them.
When it happened.
If it was the other way around, he was sure he would have no reservation to kill them.
“Why can’t you kill me?!!?” he wailed. His body trembled even more. His legs gave way and he slumped to the black cold grave.
“Because it will be too easy”, another voice replied “because it will be too easy for you.…” the voice repeated.
The wailing man froze. He knew very well his smart friend was right. He was so familiar with the witty, sharp tone in that voice. The voice that always pointed out everything about him and their best friends, even before they realized it.
He was right, dying will be a welcome alternative than this, a life worse than death.
“You should live, we all should live and go on, for him”, another said with a shaking voice. The owner of the voice was crying, like him. Why? He didn’t want to hear it, if it meant pity.
I’m not worth of your mercy. You were there for him, guarding him with your life when I ran away. You too had to pay for my crime. Don’t, don’t cry for me.
“I don’t want to go on….”, he really didn’t care about what the three were thinking of him now. Coward, pathetic, criminal, murderer, anything.
He knew they were right since years ago. All he wanted to do now is to see him, who was now lying under the grave. He somehow knew that he, only he, would forgive him. He’d been missing him so much. He longed to be together with him again, because…..
“I loved him, I loved him so much…..”, he said in agony.
And again he was lost in despair.
Chapter 1: When Three Meets Two
*****
FANDOM: Arashi
PAIRING: none (for now)
GENRE: AU, Friendship, Angst
RATING: PG-13
WORD COUNT: 680
DISCLAIMERS: A work of fiction. I do not own Arashi.
NOTES/WARNINGS: Includes probable character death (in prologue and some chapters), already moved to konomamamotto
*****
Chapter 1: When Three Meets Two
*****
Prologue
The beautiful blue sea in the horizon seemed ethereal compared to the bleak graveyard on top of a hill in a remote tiny island in southern Japan.
That day, the weather was gloomy, dark clouds were hanging over the sky above and sent lightning and thunder to the earth below.
But even the gloomy weather seemed more cheerful than a group of four men visited the graveyard that day. They stood before a black marble grave.
One of them fell on his knee and cried,
“I….killed him….I killed him…..” his voice was shaking, his body trembled heavily. Tears were falling down his cheek, and fell to the black grave.
“I killed him didn’t I?” he said again. He knew that was true, but a tiny part of him wanted someone to deny what he said. Guilt had been haunting him for years and countless times he wished he could die too.
What’s the point of living if everyday feels like torture?
One of the three men who stood behind him said after a long silence.
“Yes you did, and you ruined our lives. The five of us”, the voice was calm but as cold as ice. It stabbed him like a knife. That calm voice emphasized the gravity of what was just said. It always did. Most of the times the owner of the voice didn’t show his emotions, but at times he did, no doubt he was the scariest of the five of them.
He turned to face the voice. The three men there were used to be his best friends, and yet he knew he couldn’t hope for even a slightest hint of forgiveness.
He was sure he would see anger, or even disdain in their faces, but all he could see was grief. A bottomless grief that was impossible to heal. He understood because he felt it too. He was sure he was more devastated than the three of them combined. The grief had emptied him from everything. He was soulless, hollow, not living or dying, like a wandering ghost whose sole purpose of existence was to suffer.
He turned to face the grave again.
“Then just kill me will you? There’s no point of me living like this….please, I beg you….”, he said in agony. He begged them before and he would do it again. He couldn’t understand why they couldn’t kill him before, when hatred got the best of them.
When it happened.
If it was the other way around, he was sure he would have no reservation to kill them.
“Why can’t you kill me?!!?” he wailed. His body trembled even more. His legs gave way and he slumped to the black cold grave.
“Because it will be too easy”, another voice replied “because it will be too easy for you.…” the voice repeated.
The wailing man froze. He knew very well his smart friend was right. He was so familiar with the witty, sharp tone in that voice. The voice that always pointed out everything about him and their best friends, even before they realized it.
He was right, dying will be a welcome alternative than this, a life worse than death.
“You should live, we all should live and go on, for him”, another said with a shaking voice. The owner of the voice was crying, like him. Why? He didn’t want to hear it, if it meant pity.
I’m not worth of your mercy. You were there for him, guarding him with your life when I ran away. You too had to pay for my crime. Don’t, don’t cry for me.
“I don’t want to go on….”, he really didn’t care about what the three were thinking of him now. Coward, pathetic, criminal, murderer, anything.
He knew they were right since years ago. All he wanted to do now is to see him, who was now lying under the grave. He somehow knew that he, only he, would forgive him. He’d been missing him so much. He longed to be together with him again, because…..
“I loved him, I loved him so much…..”, he said in agony.
And again he was lost in despair.
Chapter 1: When Three Meets Two
*****