On and on
Well, its finally happend. We have reached a point of shutdown. Kevin has decided that it would be best to take a break from each other so that everyone could cool down. Do you think for one second that I care about people getting the chance to cool down? I want to be happy. With him, I was happy. Now, there is only a hole. And as each day passes me by that hole only gets wider. If things take too long, that hold won't be able to be filled. And if that day ever comes, I apologize to everyone. I'm tired of not being able to have even a quarter of the things I want. I'm tired of having to put everyone before me just to find out I'm fucking myself in the end. Everyone tells me that things will get better, that they will figure themselves out. I suppose that if I am the only person looking for progress, then that won't ever work now will it? I'm very bored with this trivial bullshit. What happiness have I left? How many more times will I have to fake a smile to make everyone around me feel more comfortable and without worry? Being happy makes you better, and why would I want to be equal? To be equal, you have to add or subtract, and I have never liked math. My glass is almost full and I am afraid of exploding on those closest to me. I don't mean my biological family, I mean my real family. Amanda, Jeremy, Erwin, Rei-chan, Nessa, Britni, and I suppose Kevin. You are the ones who mean the most to me. And to lose you would bring an early death. I think I might have already lost one, I can't lose the rest.