Keep It Running 9/9
Title: Keep It Running
Author: shojohanzaisha
Pairing: Gerard Way/Spencer Smith. Brendon Urie/Spencer Smith. Frank Iero/Gerard Way, hints of past Spencer Smith/Ryan Ross
Rating: R
POV: 3rd general
Summary: AU. Two men with very different lives decide to take things into their own hands. When their paths cross, they begin to learn things about each other and themselves they never would have thought possible.
Disclaimer: Definitely don’t own My Chem or P!ATD. It’d be nice if I did, though.
Author Notes: In this fic, there’s an eleven year age difference between Gerard (30) and Spencer (19), just like in real life (whoa! Imagine that! :D). Also, Spencer lives in Madison, New Jersey in this fic, for the plot’s sake. Yay.
Warnings: Talk of suicide, lots of cursing, suggested drug use, sex (oh noes)
Dedication: This is dedicated to everybody who read and commented on my first fic, “Just How I Pictured It.” I love every single one of you! :D It’s also dedicated to my betas because they’re wonderful. <3 And finally, to Arcade Fire, for being the background music for this fic and for constantly being a source of awesome inspiration.
Part Nine: Separation
For a long time, Spencer just felt numb. He was constantly on the brink of something, but what it was, he was never quite sure. Sometimes, he heard people moving around or talking, but he never knew who any of them were. The only thing that was constant was a beeping pattern, a noise that should have frightened him more than it did. He was asleep, but he felt like he was awake, caught in some sort of limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness.
The thing that scared him the most was that he could not remember how he had gotten to this point.
When he was finally able to open his eyes, the first thing he saw made him wish he had never woken up; his parents were there, in what could only be a hospital room. They were smiling and crying at the same time. Spencer did not know what to think or do. His breath caught in his throat. They had found him. Maybe he was even back in New Jersey…
Where the fuck was Gerard?
“Where’s Gerard?” His voice came out as little more than a hoarse whisper, but his words were enough to get the attention of his parents. The heart monitor was picking up its pace.
His mother just started sobbing more. Spencer did not understand her reaction for the life of him. His father, on the other hand, was more responsive.
“That bastard survived. He shouldn’t have, but he did. He’s in the ICU right now,” he said, “But don’t worry, Spencer. We’re pressing charges against him. We’re going to get him for whatever he did to you.”
Spencer panicked. What was he talking about? Gerard hadn’t done anything to him…they didn’t NEED to press charges…
“Dad, what…what’re you saying? Gerard…he didn’t do anything to me,” he said weakly. He wanted to argue, to convince his parents that nothing had happened like whatever they thought had happened. But in his current state, it was hard to sound convincing.
That just seemed to make his father angry. “The police have proof that he kidnapped you,” he said, “It was the day you said you were going to your friend’s house. I guess you don’t remember right now, which is okay. We’re going to get this worked out, and you’ll be fine.”
Whatever strength he had left, Spencer forced out of himself. He sat up a little, taking in his injuries for the first time. It all made his head spin with nausea and confusion. He and Gerard had been driving…they must have been in some kind of accident. All Spencer could remember was the sound of his own voice screaming.
“No! Dad, Gerard didn’t kidnap me! I wanted to get the fuck out of Madison. I wanted to go with him,” he cried, “I love him. I don’t want to hurt him. Please, just don’t do this…Don’t try to take him away from me.”
His voice had gotten the attention of a nurse. The next thing he knew, the room was growing dark. The tears that had been running down his cheeks stopped. His father was saying something about how Gerard was going to get what he deserved.
***
Nothing Spencer did or said convinced his parents that Gerard had meant no harm. In fact, him saying that he loved Gerard just seemed to make everything worse. After the first time he said it, he kept quiet. Even when he was released from the hospital and flew back to Madison with his parents, he spoke very little, if any at all.
His parents did not know what to do. If Spencer thought they were in different worlds before, now he felt like they weren’t even in the same universe.
Ryan Ross came to visit him quite often. Every time, Spencer ended up telling him to leave him alone, that he never wanted to see him again, but Ryan kept showing back up. Eventually, Spencer told Ryan everything, not caring if he really understood or not. No one could understand what he and Gerard had. That much was painfully obvious.
A year later, the court proceedings were a total nightmare.
Spencer hadn’t seen Gerard at all until their first court date. He didn’t even know how bad his injuries had been, but now he had somewhat of an idea. While Spencer had come out with a few scars, Gerard had definitely taken the worse end. He was in a wheelchair and had lost most of the use of his left side. Spencer knew that there were other things that were wrong, too. Gerard had lost all of his excess weight and then some, leaving nothing but a shadow of his former self.
Spencer couldn’t bring himself to look at Gerard much after the first time they saw each other again.
In the end, Gerard’s lawyer had him plead insanity, which the judge granted. Spencer’s father wasn’t happy, but at least Spencer knew Gerard would be a little bit safer.
There was no way Spencer would be allowed to see Gerard again, and from what he could tell, Gerard did not want Spencer to see him the way he was, anyway. All Spencer could do was remember things the way they were when they were together, constantly on the move, going somewhere with a purpose.
(Author’s Note: Sorry guys. I hate myself, but there’s no way this fic could have ended happily and still be realistic. Thanks to everybody who stuck with it from the beginning and picked it up along the way. You guys are awesome!)
Author: shojohanzaisha
Pairing: Gerard Way/Spencer Smith. Brendon Urie/Spencer Smith. Frank Iero/Gerard Way, hints of past Spencer Smith/Ryan Ross
Rating: R
POV: 3rd general
Summary: AU. Two men with very different lives decide to take things into their own hands. When their paths cross, they begin to learn things about each other and themselves they never would have thought possible.
Disclaimer: Definitely don’t own My Chem or P!ATD. It’d be nice if I did, though.
Author Notes: In this fic, there’s an eleven year age difference between Gerard (30) and Spencer (19), just like in real life (whoa! Imagine that! :D). Also, Spencer lives in Madison, New Jersey in this fic, for the plot’s sake. Yay.
Warnings: Talk of suicide, lots of cursing, suggested drug use, sex (oh noes)
Dedication: This is dedicated to everybody who read and commented on my first fic, “Just How I Pictured It.” I love every single one of you! :D It’s also dedicated to my betas because they’re wonderful. <3 And finally, to Arcade Fire, for being the background music for this fic and for constantly being a source of awesome inspiration.
Part Nine: Separation
For a long time, Spencer just felt numb. He was constantly on the brink of something, but what it was, he was never quite sure. Sometimes, he heard people moving around or talking, but he never knew who any of them were. The only thing that was constant was a beeping pattern, a noise that should have frightened him more than it did. He was asleep, but he felt like he was awake, caught in some sort of limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness.
The thing that scared him the most was that he could not remember how he had gotten to this point.
When he was finally able to open his eyes, the first thing he saw made him wish he had never woken up; his parents were there, in what could only be a hospital room. They were smiling and crying at the same time. Spencer did not know what to think or do. His breath caught in his throat. They had found him. Maybe he was even back in New Jersey…
Where the fuck was Gerard?
“Where’s Gerard?” His voice came out as little more than a hoarse whisper, but his words were enough to get the attention of his parents. The heart monitor was picking up its pace.
His mother just started sobbing more. Spencer did not understand her reaction for the life of him. His father, on the other hand, was more responsive.
“That bastard survived. He shouldn’t have, but he did. He’s in the ICU right now,” he said, “But don’t worry, Spencer. We’re pressing charges against him. We’re going to get him for whatever he did to you.”
Spencer panicked. What was he talking about? Gerard hadn’t done anything to him…they didn’t NEED to press charges…
“Dad, what…what’re you saying? Gerard…he didn’t do anything to me,” he said weakly. He wanted to argue, to convince his parents that nothing had happened like whatever they thought had happened. But in his current state, it was hard to sound convincing.
That just seemed to make his father angry. “The police have proof that he kidnapped you,” he said, “It was the day you said you were going to your friend’s house. I guess you don’t remember right now, which is okay. We’re going to get this worked out, and you’ll be fine.”
Whatever strength he had left, Spencer forced out of himself. He sat up a little, taking in his injuries for the first time. It all made his head spin with nausea and confusion. He and Gerard had been driving…they must have been in some kind of accident. All Spencer could remember was the sound of his own voice screaming.
“No! Dad, Gerard didn’t kidnap me! I wanted to get the fuck out of Madison. I wanted to go with him,” he cried, “I love him. I don’t want to hurt him. Please, just don’t do this…Don’t try to take him away from me.”
His voice had gotten the attention of a nurse. The next thing he knew, the room was growing dark. The tears that had been running down his cheeks stopped. His father was saying something about how Gerard was going to get what he deserved.
***
Nothing Spencer did or said convinced his parents that Gerard had meant no harm. In fact, him saying that he loved Gerard just seemed to make everything worse. After the first time he said it, he kept quiet. Even when he was released from the hospital and flew back to Madison with his parents, he spoke very little, if any at all.
His parents did not know what to do. If Spencer thought they were in different worlds before, now he felt like they weren’t even in the same universe.
Ryan Ross came to visit him quite often. Every time, Spencer ended up telling him to leave him alone, that he never wanted to see him again, but Ryan kept showing back up. Eventually, Spencer told Ryan everything, not caring if he really understood or not. No one could understand what he and Gerard had. That much was painfully obvious.
A year later, the court proceedings were a total nightmare.
Spencer hadn’t seen Gerard at all until their first court date. He didn’t even know how bad his injuries had been, but now he had somewhat of an idea. While Spencer had come out with a few scars, Gerard had definitely taken the worse end. He was in a wheelchair and had lost most of the use of his left side. Spencer knew that there were other things that were wrong, too. Gerard had lost all of his excess weight and then some, leaving nothing but a shadow of his former self.
Spencer couldn’t bring himself to look at Gerard much after the first time they saw each other again.
In the end, Gerard’s lawyer had him plead insanity, which the judge granted. Spencer’s father wasn’t happy, but at least Spencer knew Gerard would be a little bit safer.
There was no way Spencer would be allowed to see Gerard again, and from what he could tell, Gerard did not want Spencer to see him the way he was, anyway. All Spencer could do was remember things the way they were when they were together, constantly on the move, going somewhere with a purpose.
(Author’s Note: Sorry guys. I hate myself, but there’s no way this fic could have ended happily and still be realistic. Thanks to everybody who stuck with it from the beginning and picked it up along the way. You guys are awesome!)