Goodbye
Title: Goodbye
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters & Pairings: Amy/River
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~650
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the desire to provoke tears :P
Summary: For the prompt 'Amy/River, I’d wait a million lifetimes for you, up to (and inc) NC-17' Amy tries to save the people she loves.
A/N: My first ever fic…so please be kind ☺
‘Amy,’ River’s voice was laced with the usual liquid velvet that sent shivers down Amy’s spine. She could get lost in a voice like that. She so often had, but today there was no escaping the edge of fear that lurked in its midst, threatening to throw the older woman off balance and jeopardise her usual seductive and mysterious composure. ‘I would wait a million lifetimes for you’.
A million lifetimes could have passed in the second the words left River’s lips. Amy gave a quick intake of breath as she tried to focus on the moment at hand and not get lost in the eternity in her lovers face. If looks could kill, Amy’s death was a prolonged agony. Not from the pleading in River’s unspoken question, but from the performance Amy was forcing herself to give. The look that said ‘it’s not enough’, the lie that was trying to save all the people she loved from incredible pain, the one that was trying to save River from the unbearable heartache for which she knew she was the cause. The lie that was attempting to keep Rory from a life she prayed he would never know. It was the look that drew a noose around Amy’s own neck and was tightening the cord at painful leisure. She prayed to the heavens for a quick release over this million lifetimes.
Swallowing and trying to ease the tightness around her throat, Amy whispered the hardest thing she had ever had to say. Even as the words pushed their way from her mouth, she tried to bite them back, willing them not to be true. Cursing them, not for the words they were, but for the words they meant, for all the words she couldn’t bring herself to say, for the words River deserved to hear but Amy could not provide. Her voice quivered in silent sobs.
‘Rory already has’. She tried to smile as if she wasn’t saying goodbye to everything she had ever dreamt of, as if she wouldn’t lose everything she was if she were to lose River. She tried to smile as though she didn’t know that she was killing her lover, and with not nearly so much decency as a noose. She tried, with a smile, to pretend that life would go on. A million lifetimes would go on. She tried, but she could not contemplate a single lifetime without River, not while she was drowning in her eyes. Those eyes that looked into her very soul. That woman who in a single glance could comfort and support, could love and adore. The eyes that shared, only with Amy, the entire universe in an intimate embrace. Those eyes that said ‘I would die without you.’ The eyes that said ‘you would too’. Not being able to bare witness to the anguish that lay in their depths, Amy squeezed her own eyes painfully shut, refusing to allow any tears to fall, but feeling them well up behind her eyelids she bowed her head and felt the sob swell and catch in her throat.
‘I have to go.’ She choked, and with a tremendous effort against her body’s desire to embrace the woman she adored, she turned her back on a million unfulfilled dreams that lay dying in River’s pained smile of acknowledgement. The blonde’s hand came up to her mouth as her body convulsed with involuntary tears, understanding for the first time what it was like to have all the air stripped from the room. Knowing that Amy was her world, now understanding that she was also her oxygen. Her desire to keep breathing. Amy’s eyes remained tightly closed as she stumbled away from her life and soul, River sinking to the ground behind her, joining the shattered pieces of her composure that could never be repaired, her eyes frantically searching for anywhere that wasn’t on the redhead, for fear that the lasting imprint of her only love would be of her saying goodbye.
Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters & Pairings: Amy/River
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~650
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the desire to provoke tears :P
Summary: For the prompt 'Amy/River, I’d wait a million lifetimes for you, up to (and inc) NC-17' Amy tries to save the people she loves.
A/N: My first ever fic…so please be kind ☺
‘Amy,’ River’s voice was laced with the usual liquid velvet that sent shivers down Amy’s spine. She could get lost in a voice like that. She so often had, but today there was no escaping the edge of fear that lurked in its midst, threatening to throw the older woman off balance and jeopardise her usual seductive and mysterious composure. ‘I would wait a million lifetimes for you’.
A million lifetimes could have passed in the second the words left River’s lips. Amy gave a quick intake of breath as she tried to focus on the moment at hand and not get lost in the eternity in her lovers face. If looks could kill, Amy’s death was a prolonged agony. Not from the pleading in River’s unspoken question, but from the performance Amy was forcing herself to give. The look that said ‘it’s not enough’, the lie that was trying to save all the people she loved from incredible pain, the one that was trying to save River from the unbearable heartache for which she knew she was the cause. The lie that was attempting to keep Rory from a life she prayed he would never know. It was the look that drew a noose around Amy’s own neck and was tightening the cord at painful leisure. She prayed to the heavens for a quick release over this million lifetimes.
Swallowing and trying to ease the tightness around her throat, Amy whispered the hardest thing she had ever had to say. Even as the words pushed their way from her mouth, she tried to bite them back, willing them not to be true. Cursing them, not for the words they were, but for the words they meant, for all the words she couldn’t bring herself to say, for the words River deserved to hear but Amy could not provide. Her voice quivered in silent sobs.
‘Rory already has’. She tried to smile as if she wasn’t saying goodbye to everything she had ever dreamt of, as if she wouldn’t lose everything she was if she were to lose River. She tried to smile as though she didn’t know that she was killing her lover, and with not nearly so much decency as a noose. She tried, with a smile, to pretend that life would go on. A million lifetimes would go on. She tried, but she could not contemplate a single lifetime without River, not while she was drowning in her eyes. Those eyes that looked into her very soul. That woman who in a single glance could comfort and support, could love and adore. The eyes that shared, only with Amy, the entire universe in an intimate embrace. Those eyes that said ‘I would die without you.’ The eyes that said ‘you would too’. Not being able to bare witness to the anguish that lay in their depths, Amy squeezed her own eyes painfully shut, refusing to allow any tears to fall, but feeling them well up behind her eyelids she bowed her head and felt the sob swell and catch in her throat.
‘I have to go.’ She choked, and with a tremendous effort against her body’s desire to embrace the woman she adored, she turned her back on a million unfulfilled dreams that lay dying in River’s pained smile of acknowledgement. The blonde’s hand came up to her mouth as her body convulsed with involuntary tears, understanding for the first time what it was like to have all the air stripped from the room. Knowing that Amy was her world, now understanding that she was also her oxygen. Her desire to keep breathing. Amy’s eyes remained tightly closed as she stumbled away from her life and soul, River sinking to the ground behind her, joining the shattered pieces of her composure that could never be repaired, her eyes frantically searching for anywhere that wasn’t on the redhead, for fear that the lasting imprint of her only love would be of her saying goodbye.