Elephant in a thong!
Dear Gilbert Vallego of Milwaulkee wisconsin,
I am flattered to know that a week after your dramatic exit from my life you couldn't resist the urge to call me this morning and leave the lovely voice mail "elephent in a thong'. As flattering as it may have been to know that you are not over this "not a relationship, unless you want to fuck someone else in which case it is a reletionship because i am a man and cannot share, RELATIONSHIP" I was kind of hoping you had the sense to STOP CALLING ME. Ya know after being asked by your job to CUT THE SHIT.
First off, If you are going to go to the trouble of making a long distance restricted call HAVE SOMEONE ELSE LEAVE THE MESSAGE, your voice is clear and recognizable you jackass.
Second, I know too much about yer creepy ass for you to keep this going and not expect some sort of backlash. I HAVE EVERY NUMBER YOU DIALED FROM MY FUCKING PHONE, atleast two are yer drug dealer and a few are other girls. Be smart don't risk it. You told me in detail how you pass your piss test. - not completely sure but i think that was a bad idea knucklehead.
Also if you are so great and such a player and a pimp What the fuck is with the hundred dollars worth of internet eyecandy you purchased on MY phone. Really, i am admitedly addicted to porn but when i am actually having sex in abundance i don't need to masturbate on an HOURLY basis i'm just sayin.
Now if you are bitter about how average your penis is or how i was wrong about the extent to wich you were abusing my kindness FUCK OFF, you still fucked up hardcore, let it go! Knock up some blonde, you'll feel better but LEAVE ME ALONE.
Thank you,
Pussy that smells like sundried carpe