What's New
As some of you may know these past couple of months haven't been my easiest, but it's getting a lot better. I'm not as down and out though i must say it comes every once in a while but when that does happen I call a freind and ask if they want to hang out. And i found a new job and with that a new trade. I''m now a server and let me tell you while it can be very stressful I really like what i do. I don't hate what I do when i go to work and it doesn't make me want to cry. I think that is due to the fact that everyone at my other job knew who I had dated and just felt like they needed to put some sort of input on it, while it's nice to have people's opinions on things it's not so great when it's about your personal life. and they don't know how much that other person meant to you.
on that note, there are somethings that you just have to do in order to not do the what if's all the time. so i'm going back in the rabbit hole and seeing what happens. yes that means i'm still talkin to my ex and he's really pushing to make it work and I told him I have reserves bout it cuase i was really hurt the first time. but as i said before i didn't feel as though we had naturally finished. soo maybe this is what i need in order to either get him out of my system or see if there really is something there. i dunno but i can't speculate anymore. you guys know me, if i want something i'll do what i have to to get it. and it seems as though he's doin the same thing. he's trying to woo me back and seems like he's got a fight in him this time that he didn't have before.
Life is slowly gettin to a place where i like it to be, I have love and I have lost and it seems as though love isn't done with me yet at least with this man. but at this stage of the game i have deff come out different. I don't know if for better or worse but I'm not as naive just a little more jaded. but i love my freinds, those who where there you know who you are. and those who weren't yeah... you know who you are too. I may have lost a freind but i gained four more and let me tell you they saw me at my worst for now and stood by me. that's the true meaning of friendship... not the fair weather ones but the ones that are gonna be in the trenches with you, when the times are good they are good but when they are bad they tell you it's only gonna be for a bit.
on that note, there are somethings that you just have to do in order to not do the what if's all the time. so i'm going back in the rabbit hole and seeing what happens. yes that means i'm still talkin to my ex and he's really pushing to make it work and I told him I have reserves bout it cuase i was really hurt the first time. but as i said before i didn't feel as though we had naturally finished. soo maybe this is what i need in order to either get him out of my system or see if there really is something there. i dunno but i can't speculate anymore. you guys know me, if i want something i'll do what i have to to get it. and it seems as though he's doin the same thing. he's trying to woo me back and seems like he's got a fight in him this time that he didn't have before.
Life is slowly gettin to a place where i like it to be, I have love and I have lost and it seems as though love isn't done with me yet at least with this man. but at this stage of the game i have deff come out different. I don't know if for better or worse but I'm not as naive just a little more jaded. but i love my freinds, those who where there you know who you are. and those who weren't yeah... you know who you are too. I may have lost a freind but i gained four more and let me tell you they saw me at my worst for now and stood by me. that's the true meaning of friendship... not the fair weather ones but the ones that are gonna be in the trenches with you, when the times are good they are good but when they are bad they tell you it's only gonna be for a bit.