Christmas-New year
The only reason that I am updating is because I am bored. I won't have another chance staying up late and be bored after school starts.
I wasn't in town half the time during the break. I am glad. Although I despite Atlanta for so many reasons, I am ready to move on.
Well, livejournal is pretty much dead, therefore I am just going to write down things that I want to remember and hopefully useful in the future.
Today:
I have realized that I am done with Athens. This place is starting to make me sick. I can't go to Wal-mart and not run into someone I knew from high school. I have realized this place is for people that don't ever want to leave. I was one of them, but I am ready to move on and see the better world. Mark today down
I have visited gaiaonline for the first time in months. The site is becoming too busy, and I am not interested in making imaginary gold anymore. I have realize that i am very competetive, even in playing video games. I have one of the best character on wow, I have made more gold on Wow than anyone that i know...yada yada yada, damn, I hate myself for being a jerk sometimes. I like to win, and this is going to get me one day.
I have realized that I have not much in common with most people... Because I am ... different. I hate stereotypes, maybe it is because i am trying so hard to be anti-stereotype that I became who I am today.
I am extremely frustrated and nervous lately. Couple of things, but mainly is my future job. I am getting out of school in a year or two, and my parents have been talking about "so-and-so getting what kind of job" almost every other day. With the economy going kind of bad, and my schedule in school being messed up, I feel unsettled. I will most likely have a job. But a job that I will probably not like or soemthines. Kind of sad that people are being compared by numbers these days. I am just another asian kid following the trend.
I feel terrible about treatin someone so cold. You know who you are. I guess I have changed. I just want to get away from high school. I think i was stuck in high school till now. You are a brilliant person, you will go far. I hope i have at least inspired you a little. I am sorry. i know you will probably read this.
Friendship is a great thing. I have always tried to be friendly and stay friends with people from high school. In fact, I have done some stupid things in the past that i thought was the right thing to do... at least in the name of "friendship". But I have realized that people come and go. Not every one is my friend. Especially the ungrateful ones. I think I have done more in a friendship than a lot of my friends. i am not going to follow them around and ask them to be my friends anymore. That is how it goes now. Friendship should be beneficial both ways. I am sick of giving every thing away.
I haven't been a good guy. Since I went to college it seems that there is not a day that i was not single. I guess in some people's eyes I almost qualify as a man-whore. I have no regrets about the girls that I have dated. I have learned alot from them and learned alot about myself. Whether I fell in love or not, or fell in love with the idea of love, that's for me to decide later on. This was never a game. I have gave my dedication more than any guy can give. If love can be measured, i believe I have given it my best. I don't owe any one anything, and no one should point finger at me. In my memory, I think I only have loved one person. I didn't know back then. I only realized that because I have loved her unconditionally. I gave her my everything and I didn't ask any thing back, not once. True love is unconditional... I have done it... funny enough, i didn't know and she will never know.
I want to thank God this year. I haven't been to church in awhile... It started off kind of feeling something is missing, then gradually it became emptiness. Then it became anger. Then it became...nothing. I have realized how lucky I am. i am a very very very lucky person. I have achieved every thing that i put my mind to. I have lived a life that millions of people have wished for. I was never starved, deprived and abused. I go to a good school, with a promising future, with some caring friends and lots of other things. That is a BLESSING. A month ago, i went to a church, the preacher said something that really made me think. The whole theme of that lesson is about giving thanks. He said" It is easy to give thanks when things are going well" That is true, however, I didn't thank anyone. I credit myself for many things. I prayed that day, for the first time in years. I prayed to God and thanked him for every thing that is laid infront of me. This is never meant to be a religious debate for anyone, it is my realization and my personal choice. Call me a fool if you like.
2008 is quite confusing. I have decided to be more decisive...AHA!
Well, what does 2009 have instore for me? I am not asking for too much, really.
I wasn't in town half the time during the break. I am glad. Although I despite Atlanta for so many reasons, I am ready to move on.
Well, livejournal is pretty much dead, therefore I am just going to write down things that I want to remember and hopefully useful in the future.
Today:
I have realized that I am done with Athens. This place is starting to make me sick. I can't go to Wal-mart and not run into someone I knew from high school. I have realized this place is for people that don't ever want to leave. I was one of them, but I am ready to move on and see the better world. Mark today down
I have visited gaiaonline for the first time in months. The site is becoming too busy, and I am not interested in making imaginary gold anymore. I have realize that i am very competetive, even in playing video games. I have one of the best character on wow, I have made more gold on Wow than anyone that i know...yada yada yada, damn, I hate myself for being a jerk sometimes. I like to win, and this is going to get me one day.
I have realized that I have not much in common with most people... Because I am ... different. I hate stereotypes, maybe it is because i am trying so hard to be anti-stereotype that I became who I am today.
I am extremely frustrated and nervous lately. Couple of things, but mainly is my future job. I am getting out of school in a year or two, and my parents have been talking about "so-and-so getting what kind of job" almost every other day. With the economy going kind of bad, and my schedule in school being messed up, I feel unsettled. I will most likely have a job. But a job that I will probably not like or soemthines. Kind of sad that people are being compared by numbers these days. I am just another asian kid following the trend.
I feel terrible about treatin someone so cold. You know who you are. I guess I have changed. I just want to get away from high school. I think i was stuck in high school till now. You are a brilliant person, you will go far. I hope i have at least inspired you a little. I am sorry. i know you will probably read this.
Friendship is a great thing. I have always tried to be friendly and stay friends with people from high school. In fact, I have done some stupid things in the past that i thought was the right thing to do... at least in the name of "friendship". But I have realized that people come and go. Not every one is my friend. Especially the ungrateful ones. I think I have done more in a friendship than a lot of my friends. i am not going to follow them around and ask them to be my friends anymore. That is how it goes now. Friendship should be beneficial both ways. I am sick of giving every thing away.
I haven't been a good guy. Since I went to college it seems that there is not a day that i was not single. I guess in some people's eyes I almost qualify as a man-whore. I have no regrets about the girls that I have dated. I have learned alot from them and learned alot about myself. Whether I fell in love or not, or fell in love with the idea of love, that's for me to decide later on. This was never a game. I have gave my dedication more than any guy can give. If love can be measured, i believe I have given it my best. I don't owe any one anything, and no one should point finger at me. In my memory, I think I only have loved one person. I didn't know back then. I only realized that because I have loved her unconditionally. I gave her my everything and I didn't ask any thing back, not once. True love is unconditional... I have done it... funny enough, i didn't know and she will never know.
I want to thank God this year. I haven't been to church in awhile... It started off kind of feeling something is missing, then gradually it became emptiness. Then it became anger. Then it became...nothing. I have realized how lucky I am. i am a very very very lucky person. I have achieved every thing that i put my mind to. I have lived a life that millions of people have wished for. I was never starved, deprived and abused. I go to a good school, with a promising future, with some caring friends and lots of other things. That is a BLESSING. A month ago, i went to a church, the preacher said something that really made me think. The whole theme of that lesson is about giving thanks. He said" It is easy to give thanks when things are going well" That is true, however, I didn't thank anyone. I credit myself for many things. I prayed that day, for the first time in years. I prayed to God and thanked him for every thing that is laid infront of me. This is never meant to be a religious debate for anyone, it is my realization and my personal choice. Call me a fool if you like.
2008 is quite confusing. I have decided to be more decisive...AHA!
Well, what does 2009 have instore for me? I am not asking for too much, really.