And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I really do think that line pretty much sums up life. It's the last line in The Great Gatsby, for those that have yet to read it. I don't know what it is about that book, but after I finished it (in one day, being a procrastinator) I found myself at a loss. I'm sure it sounds insane and inane, and there are many out there that probably hate it profusely, but I actually truly liked it. I actually went out and rented the 1974 version, the one with Robert Redford and Mia Farrow in it and watched the first part today. It was strange, so far I like the book much much better, but the way the cinematography focuses on the soft tones of sunlight and white, it's almost calming.
It's strange though, I'm sitting here babbling about Lloyd knows what, feeling strangely at peace. I'm not rushed for anything today, no major tests tomorrow, not much homework that I need to do. I do have some Pre-Cal and I told myself I'd finish a couple of chapters tonight, which I will, eventually. It's a welcome change from last week, when I had no extra minute at all to spare. It was just an awful week, and ended pretty bad too. I got into my first accident. It wasn't a big deal, but the lady was retarded. Not literrally, but she was totally over-reacting. What happened was that JoAnna, Jennifer, and I were going to the thrift shop to pick up some stuff for our Spanish project, and I was attempting to squeeze into this tiny space in between these two SUVs that were parked way too close to the line. I would've made it in alright, if it weren't for the people in the drive through that prevented me from backing out all the way to reposition the car. I thought I got in, but later some random lady came out and told me I ran into her car. I didn't believe her, 'cause I didn't feel anything hit, and plus when I got out of the car, I made sure I didn't scratch anything. Well, apparently I had scratched her fricking HUBCAP. OMB, it just made me so mad. It was barely like a two-inch scratch, hardly noticeable, and when JoAnna touched it, it pretty much fell off, so it was probably more like dirt. She was talking a mile a minute going on about how I probably threw her car off its axis or something, like seriously over-reacting. Anyway, that was pretty bad and so I've been lying low on the parental radar since then.
Not much during the weekend. Sometimes, I think I'm missing out, never having any time to do anything. It's not like I want to go get high or drunk like some people (::cough::) but it'd be nice to get away at times. Lately though, I don't feel like hanging out at all. When given the choice of doing something completely pointless and stupid I'd rather stay at home or go somewhere by myself. I don't know what it is, but it feels like I've outgrown most of my semi-friends. I still like them and all, but I never invite them anywhere, they never invite me anywhere and then the cycle just goes on. I hear about these wild ragers sometimes and all I can do is just nod and smile politely while the words "That was the most pointless thing I've ever heard" runs through my head. And all those kids that hang out on weekdays, drive wherever they want to do whatever they want, all I can ask is, "How do you fricking have the time?" but then I'm answered when those complain that they never have time to do anything. They have no lives other than pointlessness and I can only wonder what'll happen to them in the future. I probably sound really lonely and crap and times it seems so, but I'm happy with my isolation, it leaves me time to think and for me, being alone is a lot nicer than being surrounded by idiots (not that I'm calling anyone that, I'm just saying in general.)
It's strange though, I'm sitting here babbling about Lloyd knows what, feeling strangely at peace. I'm not rushed for anything today, no major tests tomorrow, not much homework that I need to do. I do have some Pre-Cal and I told myself I'd finish a couple of chapters tonight, which I will, eventually. It's a welcome change from last week, when I had no extra minute at all to spare. It was just an awful week, and ended pretty bad too. I got into my first accident. It wasn't a big deal, but the lady was retarded. Not literrally, but she was totally over-reacting. What happened was that JoAnna, Jennifer, and I were going to the thrift shop to pick up some stuff for our Spanish project, and I was attempting to squeeze into this tiny space in between these two SUVs that were parked way too close to the line. I would've made it in alright, if it weren't for the people in the drive through that prevented me from backing out all the way to reposition the car. I thought I got in, but later some random lady came out and told me I ran into her car. I didn't believe her, 'cause I didn't feel anything hit, and plus when I got out of the car, I made sure I didn't scratch anything. Well, apparently I had scratched her fricking HUBCAP. OMB, it just made me so mad. It was barely like a two-inch scratch, hardly noticeable, and when JoAnna touched it, it pretty much fell off, so it was probably more like dirt. She was talking a mile a minute going on about how I probably threw her car off its axis or something, like seriously over-reacting. Anyway, that was pretty bad and so I've been lying low on the parental radar since then.
Not much during the weekend. Sometimes, I think I'm missing out, never having any time to do anything. It's not like I want to go get high or drunk like some people (::cough::) but it'd be nice to get away at times. Lately though, I don't feel like hanging out at all. When given the choice of doing something completely pointless and stupid I'd rather stay at home or go somewhere by myself. I don't know what it is, but it feels like I've outgrown most of my semi-friends. I still like them and all, but I never invite them anywhere, they never invite me anywhere and then the cycle just goes on. I hear about these wild ragers sometimes and all I can do is just nod and smile politely while the words "That was the most pointless thing I've ever heard" runs through my head. And all those kids that hang out on weekdays, drive wherever they want to do whatever they want, all I can ask is, "How do you fricking have the time?" but then I'm answered when those complain that they never have time to do anything. They have no lives other than pointlessness and I can only wonder what'll happen to them in the future. I probably sound really lonely and crap and times it seems so, but I'm happy with my isolation, it leaves me time to think and for me, being alone is a lot nicer than being surrounded by idiots (not that I'm calling anyone that, I'm just saying in general.)