So you want to get on the Giants Bandwagon
aka Buster Posey: Ass for Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays.
Since not everyone can be trapped on my couch while I watch/listen to games, I will have to ramble at you all through text.
Things you will probably hear a lot on the news, if you follow any sports news at all: The Giants haven't won the World Series since 1954. or EVER in San Francisco. We really really really really want this.
This team is the island of misfit toys of baseball teams. And it's awesome.
Andres Torres aka Andres the Giant: um, he's a tiny little Puerto Rican man who has spent the last 10 years mostly in the minors, but then he was diagnosed with ADHD, got some meds and is kicking ass. He had his appendix taken out and was back like, two weeks later.
Aubrey Huff: Nickname: Huff Daddy
Didn't have a job in January, the Giants called him up, he was all "well fuck, I'm not going to hit homeruns in that park, but no one else has called." So he hit an inside the park homerun on my birthday.
He's been playing for the Orioles and the Rays back when they sucked, for like, 10 years. This is his first post season EVER, and he's having an amazing time.
In September he got himself a red thong and declared it "a rally thong" and that the team would go 20-10 while he wore it. They did. And then the company that made the thong sent him THREE CASES. and he just started flinging them around the club house like Santa Clause.
On the NLCS win: When I saw [Hallion’s] hand go up, it took me two or three seconds to realize what actually happened. Then I didn’t know what to do. So I ran in and punched Wilson as hard as I could.” .
For the party: LET'S GET WEIRD!
Holy shit, just found out he was raised by his single mom because his dad was murdered DDDDDDDD:
Brian Wilson: Nickname: B Wheezy.
Biggest fucking weirdo in the WORLD. He has a mohawk, he grew a beard, decided it wasn't intimidating enough, died it black. He trolls sports show hosts. He's just a crazy mother fucker, but is also really nice when say, you chase him down in Chicago to say hi, and will shake your trembling hand and be super cool.
"You just won the NLCS, what are you going to do tonight?" "Let me see, probably rage, get minimal sleep and then do it again tomorrow.".
♥Buster Posey♥: Nicknames: Jesus. Buster. (real name is Gerald Dempsey Posey III)
Realizing that the nickname invited teasing, Traci Posey said, she and her husband assured their son that they'd switch over to a grown-up name when he wanted.
"In first or second grade, our guy came and said: 'I think I'm ready to be called Demp now,' " his mother said. "And we just poked him and said: 'Sorry, but you're Buster.' "
He's two weeks older than I am, except he's going on like 40. He's the Jonathan Toews of the Giants, basically. He went on a 21 game hitting streak in July and is from a tiny town in Georgia. He wasn't even a catcher until his second year of college, and his dad doesn't even consider him the real athlete of the family. Just read that whole article.
After they clinched the NL West, he reacted thusly (like so much of the fan base):
and Brian Wilson was all "I thought he was going to punch me, and I was thinking of reasons to thank him". Everyone loves him, because if they don't they're obviously lacking a soul.
Cody Ross:
His nickname is SMILES.
BEST WAIVER WIRE PICK UP EVER. I feel so bad everytime someone's all LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR OLD TEAM DIDN'T WANT YOU (except for how Dan Uggla cried). He was the NLCS MVP. He wasn't even on our TEAM until the end of August. I adore him and his tiny bald head and excessive eye black.
Duane Kuiper: One half of the best broadcast team in baseball, tells great stories, makes the best home run calls and coined the term "Giants Baseball....Torture" that you are going to hear referenced like 900000 times. Sorry, it was awesome like, right up until our manager actually used it in a post game interview.
Freddy Sanchez:
Looks like an anime character.
Picked up from Pittsburgh last year, ALSO his first post season, since he was a Pirate forever. He's been injured, but god, he came up with THE 9th inning, two out, two strike hit in game 3 against Atlanta. His defense is so so hot.
Juan Uribe: Okay, so his uncle, Jose Uribe was on the Giants in the late 80s. The last playoff game my mom went to (before a week ago) she remembers leaving the game, going down the ramps at Candlestick chanting OO-REE-BAY. (the correct pronunciation. Not YOOO-ree-bay.) Juan's been a great asset to the Giants, second in HRs on the season, and something like 60% of them have either tied the game or given the Giants the lead. Like it did on Saturday. And he does jazz hands when he hits the home runs. watch for it, it's great.
and he hustles everyone in the clubhouse playing dominoes.
Jonathan Sanchez: nickname "Dirty" (no really, it's on his mitt). When he's good, he's very very very good. When he's not....well. It's ugly. But he's gotten SO GOOD, and I'm so glad we didn't trade him for Prince Fielder or some bullshit.
Matt Cain: 25 years old, longest tenured Giant on the team. How insane is that? He's a work horse, and often plays second fiddle to Tim Lincecum, but he's so great. He's been fucked over by our inability to hit the ball, but he's so great. And he and Timmy have an Annie Oakley/Frank Butler type thing going on. And that article includes the name smush "Lincecain".
Madison Bumgarner: Turned 21 the first week in August, has ice water in his veins and the BEST NAME EVER. Gave his wife a cow as a wedding present.
Mike Krukow: the other half of Kruk&Kuip. I just. I have to mention him, because he's awesome. Was all "WE ARE NOT MINIBAR HOPPING" on the post game wrap on Saturday, and then Monday morning on Murph & Mac was all "yeah, we got back to the hotel at 1:30. The bar closed at 2 am. What followed was the most epic minibar raid EVER." Also he often says bye to dudes by saying "atta babe".
Pat Burrel: Was basically fired by Tampa Bay in May, but then his college BFF, Aubrey Huff started pestering the Giants management all "Hey hey hey". THANK GOD WE DID. He's a local kid, so he appreciated how huge his 2 run homerun was back in July against the Dodgers, back when the Dodgers weren't completely sucking. We won the game 2-1. HE WALKS. HE TAKES PITCHES. It's a goddamn miracle and we aren't paying him a thing.
But seriously, that article. Highlights! "Anyway, there's a knock on the door, and before I can even get off the bed, Pat comes barging in with a six-pack in his hand, dripping wet, buck naked."
[...]
"Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened," he said. "I was looking for the shampoo. There wasn't any in the shower. Obviously, I didn't know his mom was in there."
Long pause.
"I don't know how the six-pack got in my hands."
EXPRESS EXCITEMENT AND AFFECTION BY INFLICTING WOUNDS ON EACH OTHER.
Tim Lincecum: Our favorite lady haired, hippie stoner, two time Cy Young Award Winner! I just. I really don't know what to say, this video will have to do it for me:
for real though, he's dropped "fuck" in two different interviews (sadly bleeped out here, but hilarious, and in the video of this gif, you can hear him yelling FUCK YEAH!
They wolf whistled his lady hair and he was all "I guess I must have a really nice butt."
Longer version of the Machine interview
...well now I'm tired. But fordandfitzroy, allthespoons and doctor_denmark should feel free to add more/picspam in the comments.
In closing, this could be the season:
Let's not talk about how often I've teared up listening to this.
(If you really want to get into these guys a bit more (fleurdeliser?), I suggest listening to Kruk and Kuip's podcasts here.)
and the best news/quotes come from Andrew Baggerly's blog
Since not everyone can be trapped on my couch while I watch/listen to games, I will have to ramble at you all through text.
Things you will probably hear a lot on the news, if you follow any sports news at all: The Giants haven't won the World Series since 1954. or EVER in San Francisco. We really really really really want this.
This team is the island of misfit toys of baseball teams. And it's awesome.
Andres Torres aka Andres the Giant: um, he's a tiny little Puerto Rican man who has spent the last 10 years mostly in the minors, but then he was diagnosed with ADHD, got some meds and is kicking ass. He had his appendix taken out and was back like, two weeks later.
Aubrey Huff: Nickname: Huff Daddy
Didn't have a job in January, the Giants called him up, he was all "well fuck, I'm not going to hit homeruns in that park, but no one else has called." So he hit an inside the park homerun on my birthday.
He's been playing for the Orioles and the Rays back when they sucked, for like, 10 years. This is his first post season EVER, and he's having an amazing time.
In September he got himself a red thong and declared it "a rally thong" and that the team would go 20-10 while he wore it. They did. And then the company that made the thong sent him THREE CASES. and he just started flinging them around the club house like Santa Clause.
On the NLCS win: When I saw [Hallion’s] hand go up, it took me two or three seconds to realize what actually happened. Then I didn’t know what to do. So I ran in and punched Wilson as hard as I could.” .
For the party: LET'S GET WEIRD!
Holy shit, just found out he was raised by his single mom because his dad was murdered DDDDDDDD:
Brian Wilson: Nickname: B Wheezy.
Biggest fucking weirdo in the WORLD. He has a mohawk, he grew a beard, decided it wasn't intimidating enough, died it black. He trolls sports show hosts. He's just a crazy mother fucker, but is also really nice when say, you chase him down in Chicago to say hi, and will shake your trembling hand and be super cool.
"You just won the NLCS, what are you going to do tonight?" "Let me see, probably rage, get minimal sleep and then do it again tomorrow.".
♥Buster Posey♥: Nicknames: Jesus. Buster. (real name is Gerald Dempsey Posey III)
Realizing that the nickname invited teasing, Traci Posey said, she and her husband assured their son that they'd switch over to a grown-up name when he wanted.
"In first or second grade, our guy came and said: 'I think I'm ready to be called Demp now,' " his mother said. "And we just poked him and said: 'Sorry, but you're Buster.' "
He's two weeks older than I am, except he's going on like 40. He's the Jonathan Toews of the Giants, basically. He went on a 21 game hitting streak in July and is from a tiny town in Georgia. He wasn't even a catcher until his second year of college, and his dad doesn't even consider him the real athlete of the family. Just read that whole article.
After they clinched the NL West, he reacted thusly (like so much of the fan base):
and Brian Wilson was all "I thought he was going to punch me, and I was thinking of reasons to thank him". Everyone loves him, because if they don't they're obviously lacking a soul.
Cody Ross:
His nickname is SMILES.
BEST WAIVER WIRE PICK UP EVER. I feel so bad everytime someone's all LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW YOUR OLD TEAM DIDN'T WANT YOU (except for how Dan Uggla cried). He was the NLCS MVP. He wasn't even on our TEAM until the end of August. I adore him and his tiny bald head and excessive eye black.
Duane Kuiper: One half of the best broadcast team in baseball, tells great stories, makes the best home run calls and coined the term "Giants Baseball....Torture" that you are going to hear referenced like 900000 times. Sorry, it was awesome like, right up until our manager actually used it in a post game interview.
Freddy Sanchez:
Looks like an anime character.
Picked up from Pittsburgh last year, ALSO his first post season, since he was a Pirate forever. He's been injured, but god, he came up with THE 9th inning, two out, two strike hit in game 3 against Atlanta. His defense is so so hot.
Juan Uribe: Okay, so his uncle, Jose Uribe was on the Giants in the late 80s. The last playoff game my mom went to (before a week ago) she remembers leaving the game, going down the ramps at Candlestick chanting OO-REE-BAY. (the correct pronunciation. Not YOOO-ree-bay.) Juan's been a great asset to the Giants, second in HRs on the season, and something like 60% of them have either tied the game or given the Giants the lead. Like it did on Saturday. And he does jazz hands when he hits the home runs. watch for it, it's great.
and he hustles everyone in the clubhouse playing dominoes.
Jonathan Sanchez: nickname "Dirty" (no really, it's on his mitt). When he's good, he's very very very good. When he's not....well. It's ugly. But he's gotten SO GOOD, and I'm so glad we didn't trade him for Prince Fielder or some bullshit.
Matt Cain: 25 years old, longest tenured Giant on the team. How insane is that? He's a work horse, and often plays second fiddle to Tim Lincecum, but he's so great. He's been fucked over by our inability to hit the ball, but he's so great. And he and Timmy have an Annie Oakley/Frank Butler type thing going on. And that article includes the name smush "Lincecain".
Madison Bumgarner: Turned 21 the first week in August, has ice water in his veins and the BEST NAME EVER. Gave his wife a cow as a wedding present.
Mike Krukow: the other half of Kruk&Kuip. I just. I have to mention him, because he's awesome. Was all "WE ARE NOT MINIBAR HOPPING" on the post game wrap on Saturday, and then Monday morning on Murph & Mac was all "yeah, we got back to the hotel at 1:30. The bar closed at 2 am. What followed was the most epic minibar raid EVER." Also he often says bye to dudes by saying "atta babe".
Pat Burrel: Was basically fired by Tampa Bay in May, but then his college BFF, Aubrey Huff started pestering the Giants management all "Hey hey hey". THANK GOD WE DID. He's a local kid, so he appreciated how huge his 2 run homerun was back in July against the Dodgers, back when the Dodgers weren't completely sucking. We won the game 2-1. HE WALKS. HE TAKES PITCHES. It's a goddamn miracle and we aren't paying him a thing.
But seriously, that article. Highlights! "Anyway, there's a knock on the door, and before I can even get off the bed, Pat comes barging in with a six-pack in his hand, dripping wet, buck naked."
[...]
"Yeah, that's pretty much how it happened," he said. "I was looking for the shampoo. There wasn't any in the shower. Obviously, I didn't know his mom was in there."
Long pause.
"I don't know how the six-pack got in my hands."
EXPRESS EXCITEMENT AND AFFECTION BY INFLICTING WOUNDS ON EACH OTHER.
Tim Lincecum: Our favorite lady haired, hippie stoner, two time Cy Young Award Winner! I just. I really don't know what to say, this video will have to do it for me:
Click to viewfor real though, he's dropped "fuck" in two different interviews (sadly bleeped out here, but hilarious, and in the video of this gif, you can hear him yelling FUCK YEAH!
They wolf whistled his lady hair and he was all "I guess I must have a really nice butt."
Longer version of the Machine interview
...well now I'm tired. But fordandfitzroy, allthespoons and doctor_denmark should feel free to add more/picspam in the comments.
In closing, this could be the season:
Let's not talk about how often I've teared up listening to this.
(If you really want to get into these guys a bit more (fleurdeliser?), I suggest listening to Kruk and Kuip's podcasts here.)
and the best news/quotes come from Andrew Baggerly's blog