i am finally seeing, why i was the one worth leaving
Go and rent Imaginary Heroes. Easily one of the best movies I have seen this year.
I have to work today instead of going to school. That kind of upsets me. I am already only one week into school and I am already behind due to missing school due to work. I am so tired of everyone needing to take a day off for various reasons, and then no one will cover for them, so it leaves me, who already works enough hours on my own. Today I will be working from 9 am to 1-2 am, and then have to come back at noon tomorrow to work until 1-2 am. No wonder I slept all day on Wednesday after getting out of my inventory(one of three, the other two are next week).
I don't mind working, I really don't, but I wish I could find a job that would not require me to sign my fucking soul over to them so I can pay my bills. I would love to work a 40 hour, 5 day work week, instead of this everyday(yes, I have had to go into work every day now for the past 18 days for at least four hours of my time). I just want one fucking day where I can not have to worry about going into work and maybe, get some of my other work done. I am already behind in my reading for my science fiction class, and I have to read my public speaking book and give a speech on the first chapter come Monday.
I am still finding myself beating myself up over past mistakes. The other day out of boredom I clicked a banner at the bottom of a webpage, which took me to classmates.com. I found myself amazed on how many people I went to school with that had registered on the site. I started to read profiles and found myself realizing that despite all I have done, I am still not happy with myself. I am sure their lives are not totally perfect, but I am reading about them having a family and a career and all of these other achivements, it makes my vagrant, non-comprimising to authority post high school years seem cheap and worthless. I am garbage, and its not because I am comparing them to me, I have just realized how horrible of a person I was and in a way still am. Can I change? I really hope so. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of having to scrape by to survive.
I have to work today instead of going to school. That kind of upsets me. I am already only one week into school and I am already behind due to missing school due to work. I am so tired of everyone needing to take a day off for various reasons, and then no one will cover for them, so it leaves me, who already works enough hours on my own. Today I will be working from 9 am to 1-2 am, and then have to come back at noon tomorrow to work until 1-2 am. No wonder I slept all day on Wednesday after getting out of my inventory(one of three, the other two are next week).
I don't mind working, I really don't, but I wish I could find a job that would not require me to sign my fucking soul over to them so I can pay my bills. I would love to work a 40 hour, 5 day work week, instead of this everyday(yes, I have had to go into work every day now for the past 18 days for at least four hours of my time). I just want one fucking day where I can not have to worry about going into work and maybe, get some of my other work done. I am already behind in my reading for my science fiction class, and I have to read my public speaking book and give a speech on the first chapter come Monday.
I am still finding myself beating myself up over past mistakes. The other day out of boredom I clicked a banner at the bottom of a webpage, which took me to classmates.com. I found myself amazed on how many people I went to school with that had registered on the site. I started to read profiles and found myself realizing that despite all I have done, I am still not happy with myself. I am sure their lives are not totally perfect, but I am reading about them having a family and a career and all of these other achivements, it makes my vagrant, non-comprimising to authority post high school years seem cheap and worthless. I am garbage, and its not because I am comparing them to me, I have just realized how horrible of a person I was and in a way still am. Can I change? I really hope so. I am tired of being alone. I am tired of having to scrape by to survive.