1+1-1=1 content and 1 rejected
Well, I apparently made a total ass out of myself last night(to myself, I don't know if anyone else picked up on it). Thankfully I left the party before others could see it. I woke up this morning with a monster hangover. As soon as I checked my email, I decided to check and see if I posted anything here last night(as much of it was a blur before 11 pm), and yeah, drunken posts galore. I am at an interesting predicament....apparently I haven't truly let her go, no matter how many times I have said it to myself and others outside of the immediate circle. Being put in a situation that I was with the immediate circle, hearing about she might be getting engaged, all of the questions about her when someone brought up that I was once with her, etc etc. It became too much. Add a lot of liquor on an empty stomach and you have an even worse situation. I was fine in that conversation at first, but once I started to think back to how I felt back then(when I was with her) and the stuff I have gone through since she's been gone I felt as if I was sinking into a slimy pit of snakes or something.
Now I am doubting all of this. I even came close to picking up the phone to call her, but quickly put it back down. What would I say? Its been over a year and I know how it would turn out if I called her, especially as boozed up as I was last night. At least Cannibal Corpse is playing today, so that will hopefully divert my attention. Who knows? It would interesting to meet the girl of my dreams at a death metal show after all. Hopefully my friend will have weasled his way out of family stuff and show up.
Now I am doubting all of this. I even came close to picking up the phone to call her, but quickly put it back down. What would I say? Its been over a year and I know how it would turn out if I called her, especially as boozed up as I was last night. At least Cannibal Corpse is playing today, so that will hopefully divert my attention. Who knows? It would interesting to meet the girl of my dreams at a death metal show after all. Hopefully my friend will have weasled his way out of family stuff and show up.