serotonin syndrome
I really don't know why I ramble in here incoherantly as if I'm going to discover the answer to whatever is on my mind when I finish spilling it out.
But I digress.
I don't know what is bothering me anymore. Something happened last night that caused me to reexamine a couple of things. And then I started ridiculous bouts of analysis that made me cry myself to sleep like a pussy. Which is pathetic and I hate myself for it. I hate being weak, but I am. And maybe admitting that is some sort of rebirth of strength, but probably not. In fact, I know what most of my vague problems are and how to fix them. But I never have the initiative or effort to. I can be happy, but I just don't take the time to. Not to say that I'm completely miserable either. It just comes in spurts. I thought I was strong. Really strong - void of all drama and stress and feelings of inadequacy. But I'm weak. I have no control over anything. That scares me.
All melodramatic cliched stereotypes aside, I have become a monster.
I don't like giving in but I totally could want a girlfriend.
Drunken hookups are real awesome and all...but they won't sit with you holding you up when you puke. Or make you breakfast.
Maybe I will go hunting tommarow.
my house is a mess. last party here for a long while.
When it's good, it's really good.
When it's bad, it's really bad.
The latter is in the majority
I know it's okay to be sad once in a while, but this is getting ridiculous.
I want to throw my face into a meat grinder.
But I digress.
I don't know what is bothering me anymore. Something happened last night that caused me to reexamine a couple of things. And then I started ridiculous bouts of analysis that made me cry myself to sleep like a pussy. Which is pathetic and I hate myself for it. I hate being weak, but I am. And maybe admitting that is some sort of rebirth of strength, but probably not. In fact, I know what most of my vague problems are and how to fix them. But I never have the initiative or effort to. I can be happy, but I just don't take the time to. Not to say that I'm completely miserable either. It just comes in spurts. I thought I was strong. Really strong - void of all drama and stress and feelings of inadequacy. But I'm weak. I have no control over anything. That scares me.
All melodramatic cliched stereotypes aside, I have become a monster.
I don't like giving in but I totally could want a girlfriend.
Drunken hookups are real awesome and all...but they won't sit with you holding you up when you puke. Or make you breakfast.
Maybe I will go hunting tommarow.
my house is a mess. last party here for a long while.
When it's good, it's really good.
When it's bad, it's really bad.
The latter is in the majority
I know it's okay to be sad once in a while, but this is getting ridiculous.
I want to throw my face into a meat grinder.