I seem to have lost (my) touch
Lately, it seems like things are falling apart.The past 2 years, I have lost some of the most important people in my life....people who I never imagined living without. And when they left, they took a huge piece of me with them, a piece that I have had some trouble going on without. You hear about this stuff happening on the news and you see it in the movies but, you never think it could happen to you....And even when it does happen to you, you can never bring yourself to truly believe it and accept it. I thought over time this pain would subside, but it's only gotten worse. I think it's because I am not in denial anymore. I know that this is life and it has happened and nothing I can do or say can change that....no matter how much I pray or how hard I cry.
Then there's my whole medical heart....WHATEVER. i don't know what to say. It's stressful, nonetheless, and I feel tired and sick and every day is a constant struggle to feel somewhat normal. I've been faced with a big decision about it a few days ago. I told him my decision but he said I was being stupid and taking the easy way out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't think there is an easy way out.
Thankfully, i have done some things the past year that I never imagined could happen in my wildest dreams; things that most people would give an arm and a leg to do and it has made me look at life so differently. It has made the world look a little brighter. And it has brought me close to many amazing new friends and it has made my already amazing friendships with my 2 best friends even stronger. This is what keeps me going. This makes me not want to give up.
Life has thrown a lot of situations my way lately but, I've learned to embrace them.
I feel like I have lost (my) touch with friends, family, and myself....ever since everything has been happening. I feel like I have lost all motivation to do anything and the ability to care. I feel like when I leave the house in the morning, I leave part of me behind that people have told me they missed. These nights seem a little longer and the days a little shorter. I feel like this world is turning so fast and everyone around me is so busy and so happy living life but I am just stuck in one place....unable to move, unable to breathe, even unable to speak or think at times. It seems couldn't be worse than they are right now. I am so confused. I don't know what I feel. I want to feel somewhat normal. I want my life back. I want to keep the good people close to me and shut the other ones out. I know things will get better. And I know it won't happen by me sitting on my bed and moping around and writing a blog on myspace. So, on that note, i'm going to go.
best,
Kristen
Then there's my whole medical heart....WHATEVER. i don't know what to say. It's stressful, nonetheless, and I feel tired and sick and every day is a constant struggle to feel somewhat normal. I've been faced with a big decision about it a few days ago. I told him my decision but he said I was being stupid and taking the easy way out. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't think there is an easy way out.
Thankfully, i have done some things the past year that I never imagined could happen in my wildest dreams; things that most people would give an arm and a leg to do and it has made me look at life so differently. It has made the world look a little brighter. And it has brought me close to many amazing new friends and it has made my already amazing friendships with my 2 best friends even stronger. This is what keeps me going. This makes me not want to give up.
Life has thrown a lot of situations my way lately but, I've learned to embrace them.
I feel like I have lost (my) touch with friends, family, and myself....ever since everything has been happening. I feel like I have lost all motivation to do anything and the ability to care. I feel like when I leave the house in the morning, I leave part of me behind that people have told me they missed. These nights seem a little longer and the days a little shorter. I feel like this world is turning so fast and everyone around me is so busy and so happy living life but I am just stuck in one place....unable to move, unable to breathe, even unable to speak or think at times. It seems couldn't be worse than they are right now. I am so confused. I don't know what I feel. I want to feel somewhat normal. I want my life back. I want to keep the good people close to me and shut the other ones out. I know things will get better. And I know it won't happen by me sitting on my bed and moping around and writing a blog on myspace. So, on that note, i'm going to go.
best,
Kristen